Novocaine (Phan)

Chapter 7

•DANS POV•

Song recommendation: This is Gospel by Panic at the Disco.

I made my way to the office I knew oh so well. I was starting to hate the color white. I reached the office and took a left.

"Dan! It's been awhile! How's the room?" Doctor Connor exclaimed as I walked in. "Rooms great, were still moving in." I replied. He nodded and chuckled a big. "So Dan, I have two things to talk to you about." He started. "My freak out and Phil?" I asked. He nodded. "Care to explain your episode?" I shook my head. He stared at me for a while. "Dan, we are here to help." I shivered.

They don't care about you.

They don't want to help.

"It was just the voices." I said. He nodded for the millionth time today. "I see, Dan I need you to know something about Phil." It's my turn to nod now. "He comes from a bad background. His parents were drunk ninety percent of the time. He was abused until he was about 15 years old. We were the ones who came and took him away. He was silent for two years. He ate one meal a day and was deathly pale. It was almost as if he was trying to die. The only time he seemed relatively alive was when he would paint. He painted his room and everything in it. The dresser, the mirror, everything. Now recently he began painting less and less. He spent days on end in his room, staring at the walls.

Then you came along. He perked up when he saw your face. He started whispering "light." We were very... Disturbed when you two slept in the same bed." My cheeks turned a crimson color. "But Phil went to sleep early and smiling. He hasn't been this happy in years. So what I'm trying to say is, don't hurt him." I nodded. "I won't I promise." He studied my face. "Your a good kid Dan." I smiled and studied the clock. The clock said it was 5:30. "I told Phil we could watch movies tonight. Can I be excused?" He nodded and turned to his computer. From the reflection I could tell he was on tumblr.

I made my way back to our room. I was nearing our hallway when I ran straight into a shorter boy. We slammed into each other and fell over. "I'm so sorry!" He started. He glanced at my face. "Oh hey Dan." I looked up. "Hey Tyler." I replied. He flashed me a smile and helped me up. "Thanks." I mummered. He smiled and nodded. "Hey Dan?" He said once more. "Yeah?" "Don't hurt Phil." I laugh. "Wasn't planning on it." He chuckled a bit and left.

I rounded the corner and opened our door. Phil was curled up in a ball on the couch. His body shook with tears. "Phil!!" I screamed. He looked up. "Dan." He peeped. I rushed over to the bed side and grabbed his face. I stroked his face rapidly. "Phil listen to me. You got to tell me what's wrong. What happened." He looked
up at me. His blue eyes were filled with sadness. I met his blue sadness with my brown warmth.

"Phil. It's going to be okay. What happened." He only looked at me. His eyes told the stories for me. "Alright then." I got up, grabbed the remote and a blanket. "Let's watch Totoro."

After our marathon of Totoro we moved on to Bleach and then Kiki's Delivery Service. And soon enough it was 2 am. Phil was dozed off in my shoulder and I was in a good place.

Elsewhere. A new elsewhere. Our room. Me and Phil. Laughing and talking. Happy Phil. I was in love with this moment. I was in love with this elsewhere. I didn't want to leave but i was pulled out of my elsewhere by the man on my shoulder. "Phil, time to go to bed." I whispered. He mumbled something that sounded like curses. So I picked him up and carried him to his room. I pulled the blankets up to his face and sat on the bed for a bit. I watched as he breathed in and out slowly.

You don't deserve him.

You shouldn't get him.

Leave him.

It'll make him happy.

I jumped back in surprise when his blue eyes opened. "Dan?" I waved slowly. "What are you doing?" I shifted my feet. "Just thinking." I replied. "How did I get in here?" I giggled. "I carried you." He sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Alright." And it was alright. Everything in this moment was alright.

I pressed my lips to his. He cupped the side of my face with his hand. He deepened the kiss and ran his hands through my hair. At any other given moment I would of told him to stop but my mind was occupied with Phil. Our lips were puzzle pieces and they fit together perfectly. I pulled away, breathing heavily.

"I love you." I whispered. But this time
He didn't return the words. I was slightly puzzled by this but let it go. "Dan?" He asked. "Yep?" I replied. "Stay with me?" I looked into his eyes
His beautiful blue-green eyes. Behind his sleepiness and happiness there was a lurking darkness. A black spider inching it's way towards Phil. Ready to strike.

"Phil. Why were you crying earlier?" He looked up at me, his eyes filled with the darkness. "Doctor Connor told you, I was scared you would." He paused. "Not like me." I pulled away from him. "Phil, the only thing that will stop me from loving you is my death. The more fears the more stories. All your scars? Merely battle wounds. Life is a fairy tale, you got to find your happy ending. No one is going to find it for you. Believe it or not I've found mine in a mental hospital, with you." I could feel his tears hitting my chest.

"Thanks Dan." He squeaked. "Dan Howell, always here to spout inspirational shit." He giggled a bit and sniffled. "I'm tired." He confessed. I nodded to signal he could sleep. He lay his head on my chest and soon his breaths slowed and his chest rose and fell.

"Phil, I think I'm falling for you." I whispered. I wish that I had the guts to say it to him when he was awake. I wish I could wake him up and kiss him but I can't, because we aren't like that. I'm sure that soon enough I'll be able to kiss him whenever.

A/N: CONSENT KIDS!!! ONLY DO THE KISS/SEX/TOUCH/ANYTHING SEXUAL OR TOUCHY FEEL-Y WITH CONSENT!!!

I wished that I could tell him how I felt without being laughed at. I closed my eyes but didn't fall asleep. I was up for the next hour thinking about anything and everything. But soon enough unconsciousness consumed me.

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