Angel With A Shotgun | 18+

twenty

AMARA CABOT 

WARNING: Talk of eating disorders. If you are uncomfortable or get triggered, please skip ahead.

I felt bad.

About his father, his bad past. I realised from the way his father spoke to him that he did not have a nice upbringing.

Maybe it was the way he bolted upright when he heard his fathers voice, or the way his eyes changed with emotion but his face remained the same. Or maybe it was the shake in his voice. Nobody else noticed, but I did.

"Are you alright?" Someone asked me.

I turn my head, tuning back into reality to see Giovanni. His eyes were tired, red and purple bags heavy under his blue eyes.

I nodded and smiled, patting the small space next to me. He sat down on the cushion, his body turned toward me as I leaned on my arms, staring out over the city on the bay window.

"I am sorry." He apologised.

"For what?" I smiled, feeling suddenly tired.

"For the way Angelo treated you. And Alec, too. They have no respect." He hung his head.

"They're men who've been brought up in gangs, to learn about violence. I'm not phased." I shrugged.

"You seem very calm, Amara. Please, what is on your mind?"

I smiled at the way he spoke so formally. Usually, he would be cracking jokes or cutting the tension, now. He was creating it.

"I'm just scared." I finally admitted, swallowing the lump in my throat, "No, actually I'm terrified." My voice gave up on me and I bit my lip, the skin around it becoming tender as I had teared the skin.

"I understand that-"

"Do you?" I said, turning to face him. I didn't mean to snap but I couldn't help it, "Do you understand?" 

"Yes, Amara." He said sternly, staring straight at me, "I do. Because like you, I was also forced into this young. I lost my family in war. My brother, sister and four year old niece. They were taken and killed, whilst my parents watched."

My hand was over my mouth to stop it from quivering. I squeezed my eyes shut, "I have nightmares, every night. I can't get their screaming- out of my head." Giovanni's broken expression made me cry. Hot tears flowed down my cheeks.

"Alec took me in. He made sure I was safe and secure and I promise you, he will do the same for you. I wouldn't let anything happen to you. Neither would Alec." 

"What about Marco?" I quirked. Giovanni's lip turned upward a fraction, "Marco knew you were running away and didn't stop you. No offence, but I don't think he cares that much."

I snorted, "Yeah you're right. But I don't blame him, honestly. I wouldn't want to save me either." 

"Why do you say that?"

I shrugged my aching shoulders and rose from my sitting positions, hearing my knees crack satisfyingly before pulling my jumper down, "I don't like myself. I don't deserve to be saved." 

+ + + 

Hours later once the sun had gone down and the house was now silent, I took a walk around. Decided to go for my daily exercise. Yeah, his house is that big.

I turned left into the kitchen and smelt freshly braked bread and cinnamon. It was heavenly.

Wrapping my arms around myself to trap in some of the heat, I sat down at the small table in the corner, lifting one leg and resting my head on it.

I wiggled my sock clad toes, flexing it to make sure my leg was healing okay. It still hurt for, obvious reasons. But Esther was given strict rules by my doctor to make sure I was letting it rest. 

I was startled by the sudden flicker of lights and my breath hitched when I noticed Alec.

He was wearing grey sweatpants and a simple black hoodie with the symbol of a rose on the back. 

"What are you doing in here?" Alec said to me.

"Sorry, I'll leave." I muttered, hopping up quickly.

"I said, what are you doing in here?" His voice rose quickly and I looked at him through my eyelashes, "I was walking around. I couldn't sleep." 

After a short pause he nodded to the chair I was previously sitting in, "Sit. I'll make you something."

I shook my head twice, "I'm not hungry." I smiled.

"You are going to eat Amara if I have to sit down and feed it to you myself."

"Jeez, bossy." I tried to lighten the mood. He shrugged, opening a cupboard that almost swung into his face, "I noticed you didn't eat breakfast or hardly any of your dinner. You must be hungry."

I bit my lip anxiously, remembering the signs of my eating disorder that I had overcome, "Sorry, I was a bit distracted you know. With the whole, your father is an asshole kind of thing."

For the first time in a long time, I heard Alec laugh. I kind of stopped for the moment, admiring the way he threw his head back and laughed. It was a quiet laugh, a simple chuckle. But his chest heaved up and down and he sent me a wink, "I can't argue with that. Now, what do you feel like? Pizza or pasta?"

"Surprise me!"

+ + + 

So here we were at 12am, eating pasta in an empty kitchen with a single lamp to supply us light.

"This is amazing. You're a really good cook." I said with a mouthful of food. I had only taken two bites but was already full, my stomach anxious and tired as I tried to swallow my bite.

"I'm glad you think so. I used to have to cook for myself a lot, so I guess it paid off." He shrugged, swirling the pasta around his fork and puckered his lips, blowing on it ever so softly.

My knees touched his under the table as our pants brushed each other. I kept stealing glances at him only to find that he's already staring at me.

I felt my cheeks heat up and placed my fork back in my bowl, setting it aside, "You're done?" He said with a confused look, I smiled, "Yeah. I'm full and- it's a lot of carbs before bed, so."

Alec stayed silent for a moment, looking down, "You never took me for the kind of girl to worry about carbs." He smirked, flashing me his teeth. I rolled my eyes, smiling, "Well you obviously don't me very well, I don't get this amazing body by just drinking water and smoking pot."

Alec choked on his food and looked up at me, "You're ridiculous." He laughed, slurping up his last noddle before taking both the bowls.

"But if you have pretzels, I'd love some." I mocked him, earning a glare as he placed the bowls quietly in the sink.

"What's your poison?" Alec's voice echoed through my ears as I looked at my pale hands and slender fingers, noticing the tips of my fingers were red, making my chipped nail polish more pronounced, "Amara?"

"Hmm-" I looked at him, "Um- whiskey, please."

"Ou, you like it strong." Alec placed a single bottle of malt whiskey on the table as well as two shot glasses, "20 questions?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"What is this, a high school party?" I tried to grab the bottle but his hands enveloped mine, stopping me, "Do you want to play? Get to know each other better. You said it yourself, I don't know why. So why not try." He tested me, eyes challenging.

I smirked, "Sure, you start." 

+ + + 

Hey guys!

So sorry for the late update, school's back up as well as my work and I have heaps of family stuff coming up as well as birthdays ugh! But, here's chapter twenty! I hope you loved it!

Sorry for the wee depressing moment, today hasn't been the best and I guess I just based it off my mood. 

Love u guys xx