BLACKPINK: New Home

Total of Four

It's a bit late and I didn't proofread, BUT FINALLY! Another update.
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Y/n POV

Jennie, Chae, and Lisa have been on my back constant. So much stress and the overwhelming feeling of guilt hasn't been much help for sleeping. I don't know how long I can continue this. It's only been 3 days!

It has been and always will be their happiness before mine. Not only because I care, but because...

I'm scared. Scared of being alone. Scared of being hated. Scared of reliving my past.

"What's up Y/n", Shelly spoke with a stern voice while giving me a serious look.

"W-what? Oh. Nothing.", I said breaking out of my thoughts. Not buying my 'i'm fine' attitude.

"Y/n, what's wrong. There's something you're not telling me.". We we're in the practice room taking a break from dancing while Mae had singing practice.

"These past couple of days you haven't been yourself lately.", Her look became a bit softer. She sat a little closer to the side of me and waited for my response.

I sigh in defeat knowing she won't budge and lying won't help since she detects that easily. I don't know how, but when I asked she told me she used to do it many times. I saw how her mood changed when talking about it so I won't lie to her. Or at least I'll try.

"I'm just tired and stressed.", Closing my eyes and hoping she won't ask why.

"How come?". Great

Eyes still closed while my head buried in my arms hugging my knees. "I just don't want to mess up.", I really wanted to tell her, but I couldn't.

"The dance? Is that what you're worried about?", She let out a small smile chuckling. "Y/n, you're already good at that. Don't worry too much.", she comforted me in a hug, and I flinched a little. I sank in to her embrace hoping it would last longer. Feeling some relief before getting swallowed into a hole that I can't get myself out of.

After practice Clara picked me up in her corvette that she got recently. Show off. I roll my eyes and smile being happy to see my best friend. Once I got in the car I gave her an annoyed look. "You really had to pick me up in this?", I said sarcastically.

She gasped. "What? You don't like my new ride?", her mouthed formed an upside down smile making me laugh. She hit my arm playfully, but I was still laughing at her whining. I missed this.

"So how you holding up?", obviously relating to the girls.

I let out a long sigh. "Ok." I answered back. She looked at me being fully attentive and then spoke, "You don't seem ok.". We were at her apartment, and feels like a second home to go to.

"I....I had to go out with them!". I finally burst. I could feel the inside of my head shake. Everything around me was shaking or was it just my eyes going crazy. I felt so light headed that my mind and body could just give out at any moment.

"Y/n!", Clara quickly rushed over to me panicking. I put in my best effort to hold myself together, and thankfully there were only several tears instead of a whole waterfall.

Ding!

Ding!

Ding!

Ding!

I look at my phone to see Lisa, Jennie, Chae, and Jisoo's text messages. My phone was going off many times. Clara looks over to see how down I looked. There was no purpose in me showing a fake smile or acting fine after what we just went through. "You don't have to.". Still comforting me I managed to smile a tiny bit.