Hidden Pain (Nash Grier and Sammy Wilkinson Fanfic)

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

*KYLIES POV*

"Kylie.." Cam said lowering his voice. Go and end it now. I shook my head watching the black of my shoes. I turned around still not looking at any of them. I should just run. Run away. Run somewhere else were i can be insane without everybody starring. Dont ignore me. Just kill yourself damn thats not that hard. I fiddled with my fingers thinking about my next move. I closed my, by now tear filled, eyes and took a deep breath. I squeezed my hand into a fist and then took a step forward. I shook my head again before running. I heard them yell my name but my feet kept running. I ran to the streets and down the hill. I dont know where i'm going but i woulnd't dare to stop. I need to get away. I need to escape. Perfect plan for that babygirl. " No. I need a Plan B." I screamed still running. The street was empty. Not a soul outside. Perfect time to kill yourself right? "Probably." I answered honestly. I'm not going to kill myself for that jerk i call Dad. I ran and ran until i reached a park. It wasnt familiar at all but i felt comfortable. Mabey it was the fact that i was alone. Mabey i was drunk. Mabey im just insane. Mabey all of it. I sat down infront of a lake. The grass under my legs was slightly wet but also refreshing. I need someone to talk to. I grabbed my phone dialing the most tipped number in my phone. Mr.Grayson. My therapist. "Kylie its 1AM.." A sleepy mister grayson spoke through the phone. "They are going to find out!" I said ignoring his sentence about the time. "Can you tell me everything slowly and explain please.." He said calmly. "They are going to know!" i sobbed brushing a hand over my eyes as i tried to stop the tears but i obviously failed. "Kylie please.." He said confused. "They dont know that i talk to him! They dont know i cut! They no nothing!" I cried while the burning in my chest got worse as i though about my boys. "Who?" He asked worried. "My friends. C-cam and.." I sobbed trying to take a breath. You dont deserve to breath. "Calm down. Kylie you need to tell them. It will help you." Mr. Grayson said. "It wont." I said serious. "It will. You'll see." He said calmly. "They're going to think that i'm crazy. I know i am but i dont want them to think it. Dont you understand that they shouldnt worry? I dont want anybody to think i'm a problem or i need to be fixed. They shouldnt think i need help. They shouldnt know that i need it." I said as more and more tears rushed down my face. "I thought you were getting better. Didnt the pills help?" He asked confused. "I stopped taking them." I mumbled. "KYlie this thing wont work if  you dont do what i say!" He said his voice getting louder. "But i-" he cut me off. "No listen Kylie. Take your pills. Tell the people you love, for example friends and family, whats going on in your head." He said sternly. "I dont want to!" i sobbed pressing my palms at my forehead. "Kylie if you dont get better in the next month i'll have to send you to a psychiatry." Mr. Grayson said worried. "An asylum really?" I asked him shocked. Before he got the chance to answer, my phone died. I looked shocked at the screen more tears falling down my face. He wants to send you to an asylum. I cant go to one. What will my fans think. They'll think i just left them. I pressed my knees closer to my chest pressing my head on top of them. Wow thats amazing. "Its not." I mumbled while sobbing. Even your therapist is giving up on you. "No he's not giving up on me." I said louder. I put my hands over my ears trying to calm me. "Kylie!" I turned my head to the left seeing some guys running thowards me. I backed off a little trying to stand up. "Kylie!" Camerons voice shouted. I stood up trying to walk away. "Kylie!" Matthew yelled from the other side. I turned around again just to bump into a person. "Kylie stop." Nate said holding me. "Please let me go." I sobbed trying to break free. Get away. "Guys please." I cried again. "Kylie please calm down." Nate said pressing my body into his. I cried into his chest as i tried to ignore my dad. Kylie we are leaving. "I dont want to." I mumbled. Nate tensed up while i spoke. Kylie dont disrespect me. "Okay. Sorry" i said breaking the hug. Lets go home. "I have to leave." I said still starring at my feet. "Stop please." Cam said grabbing my wrist. I whinced in pain pulling my hand back. I saw Sammy back off as i did that move. "K-kylie.." Cameron stuttered. "I-i'm sorry okay." I said a tear dripping down my face. "You dont need to be sorry." Gilinsky sobbed. They hate you. They hate that you exist. "I know they do." I mumbled looking at my friends. "Dont listen to him." Matt said. Matts face was covered in tears his eyes red and puffy. I did this to him. Its all my fault. I looked at Nash. Tear stained cheeks. Cameron was a mess. And so was Nate. The jacks had tears rolling down their face. And Sammy. Sammy was in shock. Its all because of me. Their pain is because of me. I am the pain. If i would leave then they wouldnt feel pain anymore. They could be happy again. Without me. I closed my eyes as i breathed in."can we go home?" I whispered. I heard them say a quick yes and then we walked to Camerons car. "We're here for a week. Call us." Nate said hugging me. "I'll do." After that i hugged the Jacks for a goodbye. "Bye." I waved at Sammy. He wasnt looking so i just turned around. I was walking to the other side of the car so i can get to the passenger seat. I opened the door but got stopped by someone spinning me around. He crushed me with a hug as my tears dropped onto his shirt. "Sammy let go." I said trying to break free. He doesnt deserve this pain. Nobody does. They all dont. "I dont want to let you go." He whispered. I pushed him away and grabbed the doorhandle. I sat down in my seat and we drove off. "You want to tell us..." Nash whispered in the back. I couldnt answer. I just looked out of the window while the tears dripped down my face. Jump. Mabey. Do it. No. "I dont want to jump" i mumbled. Cams right hand swung over to my leg pressing it down. "Stop talking to him." He said. I nodded my head looking at them again. I did this. Yes you did. I broke them. I am still breaking  them. I never wanted to hurt them. Never.  We got out of the car and to Camerons house. "Goodnight." I said to the boys before locking my door behind me. I grabbed a suitcase and packed everything thats necessery. I looked at my phone seeing its now 5AM. I packed long. I grabbed my phone and called Mr.Grayson. "Kylie its too soon." He said chuckling. "I want to go to the psychiatry." I said. "Are you sure?" I cut him off with a quick yes. "Then i'll call the psychiatry and you can be there at around six. But Liz has to sign the papers. Its a bug decision Kylie." He said serious. "I know. Thank you." I answered and the hung up. I slowly opened my door seeing Liz downstairs. I think she's on her way to work. I walked to her tapping her shouldet. "Sweetie why arent you sleeping?" She asked worried. "I'm going to the psychiatry. And there is no way that im changing my mind. You need to drive me and sign my papers." I said looking at the floor. "Are you sure. Kylie thats-" I looked up seeing her eyes getting watery. Why am i breaking everyone. "Im sure please i just want to get better." I said pleading. "Okay then." She swalloed her tears. "Lets go." I got my suitcase in the trunk of the car and then grabbed a paper. I wrote down Im sorry. I couldnt handle seeing all of my friends cry because of  me. I never wanted you guys to be sad. I'll come back when im sane again. Tell Nate and the Jacks i love them. Tell Luke that there is some more candy hidden in my make up table for him. Tell Ana and Jason they dont need to worry. I love you guys so much and im truly sorry. And tell Sammy i love him and i never stopped. -kylie.

I brushed away the tears and put the letter on the kitchen counter. I walked to the car and drove to my new life.