Hidden Pain (Nash Grier and Sammy Wilkinson Fanfic)

Chapter 22

*KIANS POV*

"Heii bro!" I said bro hugging him. "Is she here?" Sammy asked scratching the back of his neck. "I dont think she really wants to see you." I said serious."how can you know that huh? I know she wants to see me. She's my girlfriend of corse she wants to see me." He said honest. "You know that you guys broke up right?" I said chuckling. "We were on a break." He said looking mad at me. "You fucked up Sammy. Thats not just a 'break'!" I said stepping closer. "Just let me talk to her!" He said raising his voice. I felt a shaky fragile hand on my shoulder. She turned me around saying that it was okay.

*KYLIES POV*

"Its okay" i said my voice dry and shaky. Kian sighed walking out of the way. I got out of the room closing the door behind me. I looked at him my arms crossed laying my chest. "How did you get here so fast?" I asked curious. We talked about three ours ago. That makes no sense. "After we had that phone call. I took my car and drove to LA. And thats how i got here." He said with a nervous smile playing along his beautiful kissable lips. I raised my eyebrow waiting for him to talk. "And why are you here?" I said. "Because of us Kylie." He said serious. "There is no us Sam." I said my voice getting a sad tone as i noticed that it even hurts me. "Dont say that." He said lowering his head. "Why would you still want to fix this after i told you t-that..." I took a deep breath closing my eyes. I hate this subject. "I could hurt you." His eyes locked with mine as he stepped closer. I backed away my back hitting the wall next to the door. "I need you Kylie. And i know you would never hurt me." He said honest. "Thats not true Sammy!" I said shaky. "I can break you. I can fucking hurt you without wanting it. You just dont get it! I dont want you to deal with a psycho like me." I said the tears now rushing down my face. He stepped closer again putting his hands on my jaw softly. He layed his thumb on my cheek wiping away the tears. As the sparks tingled on my skin i could feel a small but still seeable smile grow on my lips. "I dont care if youre going to hurt me. As long as i am with you i am happy. And i would do anything to call you mine again. Kylie i love you." He said looking at my eyes and then at my lips. A smirk on his lips as he saw my little smile. " I'm just confused Sam. You know that i forgave you.. but i dont want to get in a relationship again until im sane." I said. The last sentence sounds familiar. Because i said it to him a ton of times. "You dont need to get sane. Be insane with me." He whispered his hot breath above my lips as he stepped closer. His hands still on my jaw/cheek. "Sammy. I-i dont know." I said unsure. I want to be together again so bad but i am scared. "I'll make you know." He whispered his lips brushing mine but still not fully touching. I looked in his eyes seeing their soft colour locked with mine as they melt into eachother. I want our lips to touch. But what if the thing i wa craving for could hurt me again. He leaned in one last time closing his eyes. I closed mine as the familiar taste of his lips met mine and the butterflies filled my stomach again. The energy i missed went through my body as i put my hands on his chest. His hands still on my lower cheek pulling me closer to him. He licked my bottom lips asking for entrece. I smiled showing him its okay. He slid his tongue slowly into my mouth deepening the kiss. I enjoyed the oh so familiar craving that i had until i released i cant do this all the time. I cant alway run back to something that im scared of hurting or getting  hurt. As if he heard me he pulled back resting his forehead on mine caressing my cheek and looking into my electric blue eyes. "Are you mine again?" He asked. His voice was small but raspy. I nodded a blush on my cheeks. He smiled pecking my lips. "And youre coming home with me right?" He asked smiling. What?. Hell no. I am not letting my fans down. "What?" I asked pulling his hands from my cheeks and stepping to the side. "Well we're together again. That means youre coming with me." He said like it was the most ordinary thing ever. "I wont let my fans down!" I said raising my voice. "But you will let me down for them huh?" He asked mad. "See our relationship wont work. We just fight all the time!" I said having enough of this shit. "No we dont fight youre just being stupid!" He said throwing his hands in the air in frustration. "I'm just being stupid?" I asked angry. "I didnt mean it like that. You know how i meant it" He said getting closer. "I know exactly how you meant it Sammy. I fucking knew it. We cant work out like that." I said. I put my hand on my forehead. " We can!" He said serious. "No dont you see it? We cant talk for five minutes without fighting. I dont want a relationship like that!" I said raising my voice. "But its me Kylie." He said. "Sam i think we should j-just stay-" i began but got cut off my Sammy. "DONT YOU DARE TO TELL ME THAT WE SHOULD JUST STAY FRIENDS." He yelled stepping closer. "SAMMY STOP!" I shouted. "The break up was the right desicion." I said serious. It was. Just imagine how our relationship would look right now. It would be a disaster. "No it fucking wasnt." He said angry. "It was and it still is." I said looking behind Sammy. I saw my boys and Nate and the Jacks walking thowards us. "Dont do that again." He said getting more sad. "Sammy i'll talk to you after the tour is over. When im sane. Hopefully." My voice was shaky but still strong. "I-i-" he couldnt finish because Nate noticed it was Sammy. "Bro Sammy what are you doing here?" He asked excite hugging him. "Oh just came to pay a visit." He said smiling. 'Pay a visit. Suck my ass.  "Bye Sammy." I said passing him and walking to my room. I heard some unclear sentences but just kept walking. I slid the key card through the lock and walked into the hotel room. I shivered at its coldness. I closed the door behind me leaning my back against it as i slowly sat down on the floor. I put my head in my hands trying to stay calm. I tried to take a deep breath but instead i began sobbing and i felt my eyes get teary. I really tried hard to keep the tears back in but itwasnt working. The tears dropped down my chin on the carpet floor. I pulled my knees to my chest putting my head on them. I layed my arms around my legs curling up in a ball. I need to get sane. I dont want to hurt him. He deserves someone way better than me. Im not worth his love. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket. I was shaking as i dialed my therapists number. "Mr. Grayson?" He said. He sounded busy mabey i should just hang up. Befor i could do anything the words came out of my mouth. "Its Kylie Shepard." I said trying to keep my voice low. "Oh hello Kylie. You know that its 9PM right?" Mr. Grayson said chuckling. "Y-yeah sorry i-i am going to call you tomorrow." I said about to hang up feeling embarrassed. "No.no its alright. Whats wrong?" He asked interested. I heard some shuffling in the background but i figured out he is just getting some papers like he always does. "I-i dont know..." I said a tear rolling down my nose. "Is it the voice?" He asked worried. "N-no.. i got a question.." i asked. "What is my erhm "problem" called?" I asked unsure. "Kylie i dont think it would help you if-" i cut him off rudely. "Just tell me. Please." I said my throat hurting. "You have a high staged acoustic hallucination. (Had that. Still have it but not bad anymore.)" His voice was so soft and calm. I took a deep breath. "Does it effect my social situation...." I asked thinking about Sammy. "All issues do Kylie. Everything can affect the social situation of a person but its your own decision if you want it to effect it or not." He said. I took a moment to think about it. "But what if i want to like help someone a-and i like need to cut off mine and theirs connection?" I asked stuttering as more tears floated down my face. "What is bothering you?" Mr. Grayson asked carrying. "I-i broke up with my boyfriend because he did hurt  me but he kept fighting for me and i forgave him.. and now he wants to get back together and i really want too.. i fucking love him." I spoke as the sobbs escaped my lips. "Then what keeps you back?" He asked confused. "Its im scared that i'll hurt him. Im insane and i could break him. I dont want to hurt him." I sobbed leaning my head back on the door. "As i said Kylie. Its your desicion." He said. I closed my eyes stayned tears on my cheeks. "Okay. Thank you Mr. Grayson." I said my voice shaky. "No problem. Have a good night." He asnwered hanging up. I sat infront of the door fidling with my fingers nervously. I hope i did the right decision. I grabbed my phone again this time going on twitter. It always calmed me down seeing my fans freak out about me or just support me. I smiled at some familiar accounts like @shepardsstranger or @Squadshepard. I tapped my tweet debating with myself if i should really post it. About a minute later i just posted it locking my phone again. I posted please dont fall for someone else...

I heard a knock on my door. I stood up grabbing the handle and opening it totally forgetting about the dry tears on my cheeks. "Heii Guys." I said letting the boys in. "You alright?" Nate asked seeing my tears. The jacks, Matt, Nash and Cameron sat on the floor or bed looking at me. "Yeah i just had a talk with Mr. Grayson." I said smiling while sitting next to Cameron on the bed. All the guys looked at me confused as i said that unfamiliar name. I face palmed mysel mentally realising they dont know him. "My therapist." I said looking at Cameron. He smiled at me knowing that im not fine. "Oh okay." Nate said sitting down on the floor next to the Jacks. We were just chilling in my room having a comfortable conversation here and there. We mostly took selfies or were on our phones which was pretty normal. It was around midnight when i noticed that Sammy wasnt around. I looked away from my phone seperating my lips lightly but closing them again. Should i ask that? I dont want to sound clingy? Mabey i should wait until. My thoughts got interrupted by something landing on my right leg. I looked at my Ballon that was now laying on the bed. "I forgot to gave it back." Nate said chuckling. "Oh thats alright." I lied. I needed it in that moment but how could he know. "Ehm were is Sammy?" I tried to sound like it wouldnt even interest me but i failed. "He went to buy some food." Gilisnky said not terring his gaze off his phone. I furrowed my eyebrows looking at Cameron. "He is leaving tomorrow morning. Dont worry." He said carrying. "You guys still on a break?" Jack j asked.

"They arent on a break." Nash said rolling his eyes annoyed. I chuckled at Nash turning my attention back to Jonsohn. "We broke up." I said keeping a straight face while my already broken heart broke some more. If thats even possible. I thought. "Oh i though you guys would make up." Nate said smiling at me. I looked at Sammys three friends. They are really trying to convince me like at Pizza Hut. Didnt they get that i dont want to. "Yeah he really tries Kylie." Johnson said looking at me serious. "He loves you dont you love him too?" Gilisnky said. Bitch you just crossed a line. I locked my jaw not trying to scream at him. I balled my hands into fist. "I mean when i love someone i would-" Nate got cut off by Matt shouting. "Cant you guys fucking see that she isnt comfortable with it?!" He said his face red. "We are just-" and again Matt cut him off. "No you guys should just not. And now leave man." Matt said standing up and opening the door. I starred at Matt as they walked out. I got of my bed embracing Matt into a tight hug. "Thanks." I whispered into his chest. "No problem Kyls." He sai hugging back. "Lets go Matt im tired." Cam said yawning. They walked out saying a quick sleep tight. "Soo.." Nash said making the situation hunder times more awkward. "Im going to bed." I said grabbing my pj and walking to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and changed into my grey shorts and a baggy shirt. I put my  hair in a messy bun and after that i layed down on my bed fastly falling asleep