Like Us || Muke

(1.6) So Gay It Hurts

Michael:

I blindly made my way over to his bed. It was so dark but I could still see the out line of his body. I took a seat next to him and waited for him to say something.

Of course he didn't say anything as one minute turned into three and then three into five. I finally built up the courage to say something.

"Luke why are you sitting in the dark?" I waited patiently for an answer.

But he, of course, didn't answer. So I asked another question.

"Why did you want to speak to only me?"

And he still wouldn't answer.

"Luke why won't you-"

I felt a mixture of warm lips and a cool metal lip ring press against my lips lightly but with just enough force that made me forget all of the questions that were previously racing through my head.

"Why do you ask a lot of questions?" He let out a quiet laugh, pulling away from me.

And I was stunned. I didn't know what to say- for once I couldn't think of anything to say and I just sat there struggling to see his face through the dark. I wanted to see his face I wanted to see him- but he didn't want to see me. That's why he had Calum turn the lights off. He couldn't look at me and kiss me. It had to be in the dark.

What if things like this happened all the time? What if I wasn't the first boy Luke had? What if that's why Calum and Ashton never questioned him? Was this all just some sort of sick routine they were all used to?

"Luke, what's going on?" I asked him crossing my arms.

"What do you mean?" He asked tilting his head slightly to the left.

"I mean, why are we sitting in the dark? Why did you kiss me, and why can't you look at me?" I asked repeatedly watching him shift uncomfortably in his seat.

"How do you know I'm not looking at you." He trailed off.

"Because," I said grabbing his hands out of his lap. "Because even in the dark I know you're looking at these." I said throwing them back down.

"When it comes down to getting serious and talking about emotions you never look at me-"

"I always look at you Michael." He cut me off. "Sometimes I feel like a creep because I just stare at you waiting for you to turn your head and say something." He pushed my chest back. "You're the one who never looks at me damn it." He grinded his teeth together.

I stayed silent as I felt tears trickle down my face.

"But that's what I like about you. You always leave me wanting more." He shook his head starting to sound upset. "And it's dark because I don't deserve to look at you." His voice started to shake. "And I don't want you to see me like this." He sobbed putting his hands over his face.

"What do you mean?" I asked leaning over to turn on the lights. "See you like what-"

My eyes took a second to adjust, and Luke flinched as the dark flashed to light. In just a matter of seconds I could see the fresh cuts and bruises going up and down his body. His neck, was bruised. And I couldn't look again at his arms- the damage. That kind of damage never heals, and it will permanently reside in both our memories. I took his hands away from his face. A giant cut struck diagonally down his right cheek and a purple bruise on the other.

"Oh my god." I whispered as I covered up my mouth. "Who did this to-"

"Please don't cry Mikey I-" his voice started to shake uncontrollably. "I'm okay, please don't cry." He started to cried while falling into my arms.