The Batpoint Paradox

Operation Justifiable Treason

*Dick

The time had finally come, after over a month stuck in this soul killing, love sucking, reality, my brothers and I were finally taking action against the criminal who had (hopefully) perpetrated this travesty. Plus only one of us had a mental break down so far and despite my heart breaking for Jay, I was still counting that as a win. With any luck we'd get the answers we needed from Luther and be well on our way to putting the universe, and our lives, back in order. Jay would have his family back, I'd have my husband, Dami wouldn't be stuck with the assassins (and his mother), he'd get Jon back, and Tim....Well Tim would figure it out, maybe the whole experience would give him the push he apparently needed to update his relationship with Conner. All we had to do to to get that was commit some minor (major) treason by abducting and questioning (just questioning no matter how many times Jay and Damien offered their services to help speed things up) him until he gave up the goods. Easy. We had this. 

 I stared menacingly into the bathroom mirror, 

"Because I'm Batman." I rumbled to my reflection in my best Bruce impression, a pretty top notch one if I did say so myself.

However any coolness I'd felt a second ago evaporated when I was startled by a voice behind me,

"Good B, but I think it's a little more like, ahem ah.... I am Darkness, I am the night, I am.....Batman!" 

I turned and glared at Tim who had been holding the shower curtain up behind him as he did his impression, one he barely managed to get through before collapsing into giggles.

My annoyance forgotten in the face of my brother's adorable ridiculousness, I started chuckling with him, that was until we were interrupted by a voice from the shadows, shadows that I swore hadn't been there a minute ago.

"Criminals, by nature, are a cowardly and superstitious lot." Damien rumbled as he melted out of the shadows, pulling of a pretty spot on Bruce, honestly I found it a little disconcerting, apparently Tim felt the same as he echoed my thoughts.

"Yeah, I don't think I liked that, something about you and that voice just doesn't sit right with me, it's creepy." 

Damien scowled, "It was far better than your subpar impression Drake."

Tim looked like he was formulating a response, but suddenly the lights went off and the bathroom door closed, encasing us all in darkness as a voice boomed from the shadows,

"What are you dense? Are you mentally challenged or something? Who the hell do you think I am?...I'm the goddamned Batman."

For a few moments there was dead silence until Tim bust out in laughter, soon joined by Jason's self satisfied chuckles, and then a moment later Damien switched the light on, I could tell even he was fighting a smile. Goddamnit.

"I would just like to say one more time, for the record, once again, that that quote is fake news, well at least the first part is, and if he ever said the rest of it, well it certainly wasn't to me. And none of you were even around then so you can't prove otherwise! Honestly I expect more from you, actual Robins should know better than to believe common slander, where's your respect?" I huffed, giving my brothers my best bat glare...Unfortunately it was less than effective, not that I'd really expected it to be, but still.

Instead of apologizing and backing off like nice, respectable brothers, they all just started laughing harder, even Damien joined in, such betrayal, really.

Between wheezing laughs Tim managed to get himself together enough to speak again.

"You know he's got a point guys, we should respect his authority," he paused still laughing a bit, I ignored that and smiled at him, momentarily relieved, that was until he opened his mouth again, "I mean after all, he is the goddamned Batman!"