The Batpoint Paradox

Let Me Get This Straight (or More Accuratly, Very, Very Gay)

*Dick

After finishing what I have to consider to be a pretty impressive, if not slightly insane and semi off-topic, rundown of who we are and what's happening, seemingly in one breath, Jason spins on his heel and disappears back into his bedroom. The subsequent slam of his door moments later jars everyone out of their stunned silence, Bart and Cassie erupting into frantic questions that Kon badly attempts to answer while Tim looks worriedly in the direction of Jason's room. I figure it's probably a good time to take charge and get everyone out of here before Jason starts shooting people...Hopefully with the rubber bullets, but just to be safe I quickly start herding them towards the front door.

"Okay I know you guys have more questions, but if Jason has to come out here again we're all toast, so you guys need to shush until we vacate the premises. Conner, you and Tim could probably use some space to work through all that, so maybe you can take him back to your apartment... Which you share...Right, and Bart, Cassie, you two can come with me, I happen to have a very sad bachelor pad in Star City, we can go there and I'll answer the rest of your questions. Just ah, give me a minute to change." I stage-whisper to the now thankfully quiet heroes occupying the living room.

I'm out of the batsuit in record time, emerging from the spare room minutes later with hoodies for the still costume-clad Titians huddled awkwardly by the door, well at least for the ones not just wearing a black T-shirt with the S-shield printed on it.

At the sight of my now cowlless face Kon's forehead wrinkles, Cassie's eyes widen almost comically, and Bart's jaw audibly drops. Stifling a groan of annoyance, I usher the group out into the hallway, shoving jackets into their arms as we go, which, thankfully they put on without protest as they continue to stare me down the entire way to the elevator.

I rake a hand through my already messed up hair, (hat-hair has nothing on bat-hair) then move it to my forehead, closing my eyes and attempting to combat a rapidly growing tension headache as I acknowledged the elephant in the elevator.

"So I guess you guys didn't catch that part of Jason's monologue, figures." I huff indignantly at the notion, sighing softly as I give up on dissipating the pain in my head, and open my eyes. Dropping my hand, I shake off my annoyance, it's really not Bart and Cassie's fault that we're in this situation anyways. So I square my shoulders and meet their gazes to address them, taking a deep breath and drawing on my patented Nightwing sass to properly introduce myself.

"Dick West-Grayson at your service, -Also known as the loving husband of Wally West-Grayson, the third Flash- The first boy wonder, Robin, the second Batman -sort of- The one and only protector of Blüdhaven, Nightwing- An original founding Teen-Titian- Also briefly a sexy super-spy - Oh and current overbearing big brother," I announce brightly, flashing them a bright smile.

From Conner's arms, I hear Tim snicker not so quietly at my words, adding his own identifiers as we exit the elevator. "You forgot 'Walking fashion disaster' and 'Butcherer of the English language', don't sell yourself short Dick." He snipes, a smug grin on his face.

I roll my eyes in mock irritation clearly belied by the fond smile I fail to keep from my face.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, all my costumes have been totally asterous, it's not my fault the whole familys' a bunch a' prudes! All, 'Your suit is too tight Dick.' then 'Why on earth is the neckline so deep Master Richard?' or 'For godsakes, Robin put on some pants!' Humph, I'm an acrobat damnit! The circus understood that we need the freedom to move, most clothing is super restricting, attempting acrobatics in so-called 'respectable crime-fighting attire' is so not whelming, yeah bats can fly, but steel-reinforced kevlar cannot. I know, I tried, not whelming at all." I'm totally ignoring Bart and Cassie at this point, instead of snarking at Tim as we make our way to the zetas as they trail uncertainly behind us in what I imagine is yet another bout of baffled silence.