The Batpoint Paradox

You Won't Like me When I'm Honest

*Jason
The green hue faded from my eyes and for the space of a few scant heartbeats as I relaxed into Roy's familiar presence everything was once again right in the world. All too soon though the fragile moment was shattered by a sudden pounding on the door followed shortly by the appearance of a perplexed Amazon wielding the one interrogation tool Bruce hadn't yet figured out how to elude (as far as I knew). I figured even if the old man had come up with some secret bat workaround for the thing sharing that information with the family fuck up wasn't a high priority. Replacement probably knew something, that fuckin nerd was almost as paranoid as the old man, I wouldn't be surprised if there was something about this in one of those ridiculous contingency plans of his, maybe re-reading My Sister's Keeper during Tim's contingency briefing was a bad call.  

So the idea of being on the receiving end of Wonder-Woman's lasso of truth was not a scenario I was prepared for in the slightest, and I'm man enough to admit that the sight intimidated the holy hell out of me. Enough that despite all my extensive training I felt myself blanch as the Amazonian warrior approached me- a reaction that is pretty much the bat equivalent of full-on pissing your pants. Eat your fuckin heart out Batman, as far as I'm concerned a single raised eye-brow from the princess of Themiscera is infinitely more terrifying than anything Bruce ever did try to strike fear into the hearts of criminals (and also, supervillains, lunatics, aliens, teenagers, the PTA,  W.E stockholders, etc.).  Maybe if he had a tiara, if we get out of this mess I'm totally getting him one for Christmas, well provided my favorite superhero doesn't strangle me with her magic lasso.

"Hey, hey, so this is probably a dumb question considering the attempted Martian mind enema, but do I get a say in this? I promise you that using that thing on me will lead to nothing but trouble for all of us, things really aren't what they seem and I'm probably the worst possible person to attempt explaining it." I urge uselessly as Diana moves to wrap one end of the glowing magic rope around my exposed right forearm, unsurprisingly my protests go unheard.

"That's enough child, no more of this foolishness, you will answer all our questions truthfully and in full, without omitting key information. Now, the lasso compels you to speak the truth, who are you and why did you attempt to steal from the Justice League?" Diana ordered me in a firm, no-nonsense tone, expression hard and determined. 

I tried to resist, gritting my teeth and clenching my jaw as the heat from the lasso where it looped around my arm, became more and more intense, climbing up my limb and burrowing inside my body. The unnatural warmth begetting an overpowering compulsion to truthfully answer the woman's questions. I held out as long as I could, I'm sure longer than most people who weren't raised by the Batman probably could, but after fighting it long enough to make Diana's brow crease in frustrated bewilderment, the truth began clawing its way from my lips.

"My name is Jason Peter Todd, though for a time I was Jason Peter Wayne, but that was before, back when I was his partner- when I was Robin- before it all blew up-literally and I was still his son-" I choked a little at the words coming out of my mouth, fucking magic lasso making me say shit I've spent years repressing. If there is any decency in this godforsaken universe nothing I'm forced to say in here will ever get back to the family. I'd rather fucking die again than live with that kind of humiliation. 

Despite my ever-growing desperation, the words keep coming while Roy and Diana listen on in bewilderment.

"But then I died, was brutally murdered by a psychotic clown, because the worthless piece of death worshipping garbage is obsessed with Batman, loves the arch-nemesis relationship or whatever. Like a Superman/ Lex Luthor kinda deal, if Lex were an insane clown, but still..." I trail off a little at their increased confusion, realizing why I found myself backpedaling.

"Oh right, that's not a thing here, wild, okay uh think like  Barry Allen and Eobard Thawne, but with my dysfunction and murder and no superpowers. So Joker murdered me because he was jealous of the Robins, and probably because he thought he could, wanted to see how far he could push Bruce and his impeccable morals. It wasn't far enough though, as I learned for myself a while later after a combination of cosmic fuckery and a dip in Ra's al Ghul's dank ass demonic bathwater brought me back from the dead. It really fucking sucked to come back and learn not only had he replaced me with yet another dark-haired blue-eyed kid but that my killer was still out there enjoying the same revolving door of Arkum Asylum that lead to my murder not to mention countless others, didn't help that I was still half-crazy from the Lazerous Pitt either. So I got a little revenge murderey, I took up the name Red Hood because that was Joker's original alias, went back to Gotham, and ended up as a crimelord-vigilante-antihero."

I took a deep breath and grinned at the two of them before finishing off.

"So yeah, that's who I am, Jason Todd, formerly dead, formerly Robin 'The Boy Wonder', the second one that is, now The Red Hood, reformed nutcase, and user of non-lethal rounds, and official member of the batfamily. The reason I attempted to steal from you guys was that my little brother asked for my help in acquiring a device that would allow him to imprison his evil, bat-shit crazy, psychopath mother, Talia Al Ghul, somewhere she couldn't escape. Personally, I thought the phantom zone was a little dramatic but I support him and I couldn't come up with a better alternative that didn't involve matricide, or me breaking a promise I made to my family. So I went along with the demon brat's plan and now here I am."

Diana stared me down intently, before questioning me further.

"You said a lot of things that make very little sense, but you spoke of the wanted criminal, a terrorist, this Batman, and his associates, of which I take it you are one of, so answer me this, who is this 'Batman' we have been dealing with, what are his plans?"

I bit down on my tongue as hard as I could at her question, it was one thing for me to be identified, or even Damien, Tim could be problematic though still manageable, but outing Dick would make everything a thousand times worse. I fought against the lasso with all my strength, hoping for a miracle, and just as it looked like I was getting one when alarms began blaring and Diana moved to take her lasso back Roy set a hand on my shoulder.

"Please, Jason give us a name."

And that was all it took to lower my guard for just a moment, just long enough to make a bad situation a thousand times worse.

"Nightwing, fuck, my older brother, please, shit just let it go, I can't-" I stuttered, still trying to fight it but Diana retightened her grip.

"What is his name Jason, the lasso compels you, the truth boy!"

I shuddered violently, my teeth grinding and the taste of blood on my tongue, Roy grabbed me by both shoulders and stared into my eyes, not letting me look away, it was all too much and I felt the words violently force themselves from my mouth.

"It's Dick, Dick Grayson is the Batman."