The Batpoint Paradox

Assimilating

*Dick
Unfortunately acts of domestic terrorism require time to properly plan, so in the meantime we had all agreed to go back to our fake lives and gather more intel on our new timeline without raising suspicion. Something that was decidedly easier for Tim than it was for the rest of us, or so I thought. I was enlightened the next day after I'd dragged myself into HQ, gotten a full rundown on my team's perspective on the LutherCorp op, and was then blindsided by Conner Kent.
"I guess we both missed a crazy night huh, my Dads were pissed, Supes cause he missed it and Lex cause obviously LutherCorp is still his family's company. Oh well, we'll get those guys soon, next time they try something we'll be on them faster than Bart on a caffeine high!"
Conner was smiling at me, clearly waiting for a reply but it took me a few extra seconds because my brain was still stuck on the dads.
"Oh yeah, totally, they don't stand a chance." I lied taking extra care to keep my heartbeat steady.
"Right! I hope it's not tonight though, because I need to get home to Tim tonight, I gave him some dumb excuse yesterday about forgotten dinner plans with Mal and Karen. Now that we live together it's a lot harder to keep this from him, I know I need to come clean but It's been so long and honestly I'm just not sure how to tell him at this point ya know?" Conner confided in me, unaware of the mental spit- take I'd preformed when he mentioned Tim. Not dissimilar to the one Tim had preformed the other day when Damien had made that comment about Conner....
"Tim?" I sputtered out unable to stop myself, suspicious spit-takes aside surely he wasn't talking about Tim, not my brother Tim.
Apparently though he was.
"Um yeah Tim Drake, my serious long term boyfriend who I now cohabitate with, what other Tim would I be talking about? Hell I've talked to you about him so much you practically know him at this point, actually that reminds me you really should meet him, I think he's the one Dick."
Holy Crap, wow Timmy was really holding out on us, that was a twist I did not see coming, I honestly wasn't even aware that Tim was into guys, let alone Conner. Not that I could blame him, Kon's a great guy, not to mention pretty easy on the eyes, and its not like I had a leg to stand on when it came to falling for your best friend. I wonder why he didn't think he could tell us, we're like the spokespeople for being gay for your best friend...actually in hindsight I really should have seen it coming. With me and Wally, Jay and Roy, and even Damien with his adorable little Jon infatuation, clearly we batboys aren't so great at distinguishing romance from bromance. Still it's actually baffling that it's happening in this reality instead of the one where they've been joined at the hip since Tim's early Robin days, how the hell did they even meet anyways, Tim's a civilian in this timeline and Kon's decidedly not. Maybe some things were constant across timelines, like Damien's existence, Jason being the Red Hood, me being a vigilante and apparently Tim and Conner somehow knowing each other. Strange. I shook my head and refocused on Conner.
"Right, sorry my brain left the building for a second there, late night. You're right though, you should tell him, actually it's a miracle he hasn't figured it out yet, from what you've told me Tim's a pretty smart guy, and I don't care what you and Clark say, glasses are not a disguise. Even if they were you're living with him now, he's bound to figure it out sooner or later, and my bets are on sooner. Better you tell him than he figures it out himself, trust me."
It's solid advice, despite being utterly useless because even if Tim didn't know before, as unlikely as that seemed, he certainly did now. Not that he'd say anything about it considering he had his own secrets now, but still, my baby brother does not deserve to be lied to.
"Yeah, you're right, he's gonna be pissed either way though."
"Most likely."
...
As soon as Conner left to plan his big identity reveal, I wished he hadn't because while keeping my heartbeat steady while I lied was tedious, it was worth it to be distracted by Conner. With him gone I couldn't help but obsess over Wally and Donna, watching them together was torture but I couldn't bring myself to look away. The way he was flirting with her gave me flashbacks of the early days of the team, when he obnoxiously hit on M'gann because he was overcompensating for his sexuality. As a teenager it was annoying but understandable, as an adult it was just sad. He was so plainly unhappy, but hid it behind fake smiles and an air of overconfidence. I had no clue why Donna was allowing him to use her as a crutch so he could avoid facing the truth about himself, Artemis had shut him down immediately when he'd tried with her all those years ago, that was the moment I knew she and I would always be friends. At that thought I looked around for the blonde Archer but couldn't spot her anywhere,come to think of it I hadn't seen hide nor hair of her since landing in this hellhole, figures. I said a silent little prayer that she wasn't in the assassin game with her dad and sister, Damien was bad enough. I'd have to ask Tim about that later, well after I grilled him about the Kon situation...I couldn't believe he'd just been sitting on that bombshell, it's not like any of us would have a problem, sure Damien would have a snide comment of two, but that's a given for anything that Tim says or does. Though he would probably have some feelings about Kon and Jon's relation, I couldn't imagine he'd like Tim also dating a super, god forbid they have something in common. At that thought I had to muffle a snicker, I'd have to find a way to tape Damien's reaction when he found out. Which was the other thing, did Tim really expect to keep something like that from us? Whose he think he's kidding, we might not be Batman but we're pretty damn close, incidentally no detective work was required just now, but still. I was fairly uncertain about how I would broach that subject with him, he must have some reason for keeping it to himself, even if I had no clue what it was. Regardless I definitely needed to in the near future, before Kon blindsided him with his unnecessary confession, that was bound to be a mess as it was. I probably should have felt bad about pushing Kon to confess, even if it was the right thing to do, oh well.

A tap on my shoulder jerked me from my thoughts, Roy Harper stood next to me with a cocky smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"Where's your head at, huh Grayson? Checking out SB's ass again? For shame Dick, for shame....You know he's only like eight right ya pervert?"

Ignoring Roy's self satisfied cackles I rolled my eyes at the ginger archer.

"Haha, you're a real comedian Harper, though lets not pretend like you've never enjoyed that particular view yourself, I mean I know you prefer them foul-mouthed, leather clad and a little crazy, but the guy is objectively smokin', I mean he's not my type either, but I can appreciate an attractive man."

Roy snorted and raised an eyebrow, "Crazy, foul-mouthed and leather clad? Whatcha basing that one on? Crazy sure, not gonna deny that one considering Jade and all, otherwise my track record's way better than yours Grayson, honestly at least half your little black book could benefit from some psychiatric assistance."

I had to catch myself before I slipped up more than I already had, I had to remember that this wasn't the Roy I knew, that this Roy had never even met Jason. So I mentally shook my head, trying to get back in the game.

"Right," I forced out a chuckle, "But you do have to admit that Jade's got more crazy than your average psycho ex, plus none of mine ever tried to kill you...At least I think not."

Roy grimaced, "Okay, so neither of us have the best taste, I'll give you that, can't say it wasn't one hell of a ride though!" Roy chuckled with a wink.

I forced a fake smile, maybe the Dick Grayson this Roy knew had bad taste, but the same could not be said about me, Wally West might have been a ridiculous cheesy dork, but underneath that he was the best man I knew. Of their own accord my eyes moved across the room and landed on my adorkable husband, who was at that moment attempting a deep dive into the base's refrigerator. The ridiculous, but oh so typical sight managed to bring a real smile to my face, leave it to Wally's stomach to be one of the few unchanged things in this messed up world.

"Oh, so it wasn't Kon's ass you were ogling, figures, you always did like the gingers, not that I blame you, we're fantastic. I gotta warn you though, I wouldn't waste your time there, aggressively straight that one, I swear when Donna finally said yes to one of his countless advances he was like a little kid on Christmas morning, really, guy acted like he'd just won the lottery or something. He even stopped hitting on every female with a pulse...well mostly. All I'm saying is I know you, and I know that look in your eye, so as your best friend I'm telling you it's a bad idea, Wally's hot and all but you'd probably have better luck wooing Red Tornado."

I jerked my eyes away from Wally and attempted to paste a neutral expression on my face, but ouch, I didn't know what to say to that. Like sorry Roy, I know you've known him and this team longer, I'm just a novice playboy with a questionable dating history, but I know better than you about this one. Me, who has only interacted with the guy a handful of times, knows him better than you, his friend of ten plus years. Sure, that'd go over well.

I regarded Roy with what I hoped was an innocent smile, "Hey, no need to get your underroos in a twist Speedy, I promise not to torment your uncomfortably heterosexual friend. A guy can look though can't he? As you said I do have a soft spot for the red heads!"

He eyed me with amused skepticism but thankfully let it go choosing instead to direct my attention to the large screens across the room.

"I'll take your word for it, and don't call me speedy punk. Anyways remember that attack at LutherCorp?"

I suppressed a groan but turned my attention to the screens, ones currently featuring what I assumed were photos from surveillance footage likely acquired from Karen's mask interface. Blown up and proudly displayed were a series of stills featuring none other than my brother's and I.

Fantastic.