The Batpoint Paradox

A Tired Timmy and Some Strangely Traught Titians

~A/N: I realized as I was attempting some alliteration in this title that I don't think I've had Dick butcher the English language yet, so other than the title keep an eye out for the other cartoon-yj- Robinism I snuck in there;)

*Dick

Tim and Conner have a lot to unpack all on their own even without a reality-altering crisis so I was stuck being glared at by Bart and Cassie for an uncomfortably long time before Conner emerged from the building holding an emotionally drained Timmy. After Conner assured them that we really don't mean them any harm and that we would explain everything after Tim got some medical attention, the two super-powered young adults reluctantly agreed to move this party elsewhere. With the others somewhat on board, using the Super-Cycle we all made our way to Gotham so we could patch Timmy up at the Budget-Batcave and fill Cassie and Bart in on the situation. I'm not entirely sure what Tim told Conner but clearly, it was enough for him to trust us and follow our lead instead of calling in the League or even the rest of the team. Thankfully Damien isn't around at the moment, don't get me wrong, I love my baby brother, but he is admittedly terrible at first impressions...and second...and third...Okay, he's an acquired taste, and while he's gotten a lot better over the years, he's still prickly and while he appears to be handling this better than Jason and I (IDK about Tim after all this though), he's still having a particularly rough time. Not to mention he's always enjoyed being an asshole to Tim's friends, and god only knows what he'll do with this ah development in Tim and Kon's relationship. Jason's going to be bad enough, better Damien mocks him about it in private, later, when it's less raw and fragile.

Upon entering The Budget-Batcave, I direct Kon to the bathroom to put Tim in the tub so he doesn't bleed all over Jason's safehouse for no good reason. Jason himself is likely asleep in his room, and will hopefully stay that way at least until I get Timmy patched up. I bust out our very well-stocked, first aid kit from the hall cabinet and get to work suturing my baby brother back together. While I do so, Conner sits awkwardly on the toilet while Bart and Cassie loiter in the living room, well after Bart raids the fridge, squealing in delight assumably when he discovers Jason's chicken tetrazzini from the other night. He's lucky I love him and that Wally would probably be pretty pissed if strangled him, because I've been looking forward to that pasta all damn day, honestly a little strangling is nothing when it comes to us bats fighting over Jason's cooking, especially when we've gone so long without access to Alfred's. I sigh and refocus on my sutures, even though at this point I can do a mattress stitch in my sleep, honestly, any one of us could have excelled in med school with all the practical experience we have. I wonder if maybe somehow we can swing it so Bruce remembers all his surgical training, we're good, as is Leslie, but Batman having the knowledge and experience of a world-renowned surgeon would be damn useful. 

"You know when you focus like like wearing the cowl all silent and everything I can almost imagine you're him, well sloppy sutures aside." Tim snarks at me while very obviously fighting a grimace at the pain.

I roll my eyes behind the cowl before snipping back poor Timmy is decidedly not whelmed.

"Well we all know I can never stay quiet for long, it's part of my charm! And excuse you Timbernathy, my sutures are beautiful, certainly better than at least little D and Steph, the rest of you guys are either inhumanly skilled, perfectionists, or both. Besides, be glad it's me right now, I'm the only brother who's nice enough to refrain from even talking about the giant, Kon-shaped target you know they're gonna have a damn field day with, ya know, at least until I'm not sewing your skin back together. So there." I stick my tongue out at him like the mature adult I obviously am, feeling victorious at the sudden infusion of color now turning his cute little face fire-engine red.

He sputters for a moment, trying to look anywhere but at me or more clearly, Kon, who's sitting right behind me likely scratching his head once again, before focusing his gaze on a few of Jason's little bullet dolls that are sitting on the counter. His gaze stays there for a few moments as he starts trying to sass me some more, well it starts that way but clearly, he's still feeling the blood loss, among other things because before I know it he's on a damn roll.

"Okay, for one, I know you just rolled your eyes behind the cowl, I always know when he does it, you're far more obvious. Two, you forgot Duke, we all know he's the most polite member of the family, and one of the few possessing a little thing called tact. Further, if I was lucky I'd have been stuck here with him or better Cass, Babs would have been fine as well, really, Duke aside, no more than one other former Robin, preferably one that never tried to kill me, -but not necessarily you-. Or better yet, -Cass and Duke aside-, people outside the batfamily, like ya know, my friends who are present here, loitering uncomfortably in crime-lord-Jason's semi-crappy safehouse. I love the family, but we all know we're dysfunctional as hell on a good day, both individually and as a family. None of us have healthy, non-destructive coping mechanisms, and I'm afraid we're all gonna implode in the unfortunately near future and something crappys gonna happen as a result, like someone losing like a spleen maybe, or perhaps getting pushed off a giant dinosaur or something. Ya know, one of the many unpleasant potential scenarios that either directly or indirectly result from badly handled bat-trauma and the decidedly flawed Bat-family dynamics, I am not taking another Batarang to the chest god damnit, but if Jason or the demon push me on this I cannot be held accountable for what I say or do." He exhales loudly and slumps farther back in the tub, thankfully I'd just finished his stitches, so the action is thankfully harmless.

I start rooting through the first aid kit again looking for the gauze and taking a beat to consider my brother's slightly loopy, but largely accurate rant. Before I respond though I figure I should send Conner on an errand or something so the poor guy can take a minute to himself to deal with all this, not every day you learn you're in an alternate timeline and that your boyfriend is a supposed supervillain but not, and actually your 'platonic' best friend. On top of all that, he's found himself from and center, or really, all up in the messy crosshairs of the world's most dysfunctional family. 

So I pat him on the shoulder and ask him for a favor. "Hey SB, could you maybe go on a quick donut run? Timmy needs the sugar and I'm all but certain Bart's demolished our entire food supply."

He looks at me strangely for a moment before slowly nodding his head and standing up, first taking a moment to kiss Tim-Tam on the forehead (awww) before heading out, telling Cassie and Bart he'll be back in a few minutes. 

With Conner momentarily handled I turn my attention back to Tim, who definitely looks a bit out of it at this point.

"I get you Tim, but no matter what happens you know we've moved past hurting each other like that, I know I haven't always been the best brother, I've made a lot of mistakes, with all of you, but I hope that you know I would do anything for you, all of you. It might not be as clear right now, I know since we've been here I've been so wrapped up in my own problems that I haven't really noticed yours, but I see now that you've been hurting just like the rest of us. We will fix this Timmy, but don't let all the bad here blind you from seeing what could be a real blessing for you, maybe fate or whatever is trying to tell you something, do yourself a favor and listen." I leave it at that, staring him firmly in the eyes until he gives me a small, shaky nod. 

"Okay, let's get you over to the couch, Kon should be back any minute now and we really need to talk to Cassie and Bart, preferably before one of them, -Bart-, wears a hole in Jason's carpet."