The Rouge and the Reject

Are We in Hobbiton?

Kodiak, Alaska

Arya.

            The town was absolutely adorable.  I had never seen such a friendly community in my entire life. Everyone who we passed greeted us with a smile and a hello. After grabbing all of the groceries we needed Peter pulled up to a small cottage on the edge of town.

            “Come on you gotta me Gran.” Peter smiled opening the door to the truck. Jeremy hopped out of the back holding a large box in his hands. I opened the truck and jumped out. One thing I hated about the guys trucks was the height. They all had ridiculous tires making it impossible for little old me to just climb in and out of them. I needed to leap for my life.

            “Who’s Gran?” I asked confused and very stoned. We had been smoking all day and I was completely lit.

            “You’ll see!” Jeremy smiled as we walked up to the front door. The cottage was something out of a storybook. A small cobblestone path lines with wild flowers and seashells led to a little front door. The front yard was filled with gorgeous flowers from hydrangeas to lilies. The boys walked right in without knocking I slowly followed behind them shutting the door behind me.  If the front didn’t give you the fairytale effect the inside definitely did. The house was ornately decorated with antiques. Little clocks and black and white photos covered the walls. The whole house smelled like orange blossoms and lavender giving it an incredibly peaceful feel.

            Did I get so high I actually transported myself to the fucking Shire?

            “Are we in Hobbiton?” I whispered to Peter who chuckled

            “No but close enough.” He laughed.

            “GRAN! Where you at?!” Jeremy yelled as they walked through the mudroom to the kitchen.

            “Out here boys!” A voice came from the back yard. A screen door in the kitchen was wide open leading to a beautiful small backyard. The kitchen was just as darling as the rest of the cottage, complete with a freshly baked pie cooling on the counter. There was a grey stripped fat cat sprawled out on the floor, basking in the sun shining through the kitchen windows. A small black cat was napping on the window sill by the screen door. Jeremy placed the box on the small breakfast table and walked through the doorway to the back yard. Peter and I followed. Honestly I was waiting for a hobbit to pop out of something.

            A small woman in her sixties was kneeled in a lush garden pulling carrots out of the ground. When she saw the boys she stood up her smile brightening her eyes. When her eyes drifted to me her face went from happy to ecstatic.

            “Oh! You brought a girl!!!!” she beamed with excitement pulling off her gloves. The old woman left her garden and made her way towards us. Jeremy and Peter opened their arms to greet her and she all but shoved passed them her eyes solely on me.  She was dressed in a flowing skirt that reached the floor and a large sweater. Her grey hair tied in a messy braid that reached her lower back. She looked like a little old gypsy lady. She pulled me in for a hug then held me at an arm’s length looking me up and down.

            “Oh you’re Daniel’s girl! And so beautiful too! What’s your name hun?” She asked with a smile.

            “Arya, it’s very nice to meet you ma’am.” I smiled.

            “Oh please call me Gran! Come in let me make you some tea. Boys your pie is on the counter. I made cherry this time.” She said grabbing my hand she led me back into the cottage not even looking at the boys.  “I have this wonderful herbal tea, you have to have some. So how long have you been Daniel’s mate?” She asked pulling me in to the kitchen she sat me down in a chair at the small table.