The Forgotten One || Sirius Black's Daughter

Chapter 38

Hi! I'm sorry for such a long delay. My health issues aren't getting better unfortunately, so I ended up in the hospital. I'm doing a bit better now, but it was hard to find time with everything going on. Hope you all understand❤️

"I can't do this anymore," was the last thing Fred said to Cassie before he disappeared up the stairs and left her life.

It was all a blur after that. Cassie remembers there was a lot of crying and somehow she found comfort in her estranged father, but after that, it all blended together.

When she finally came out of her haze, she found herself back at Tonk's apartment in the comfort of her bed. The moon's rays continued to glimmer across Cassie's sheets, so she knew it was still the dead of night.

For a while she sat there with a blank mind, trying to comprehend what had happened, where it went wrong, where she went wrong. Cassie spent the whole night replaying their conversation, but that one line continued to swim around in her head. What she realized after a while was that he wasn't saying he couldn't do this, us, whatever they were. Instead, he was really saying, "I can't do you anymore."

She couldn't help but think of how much bullshit 'true love' really is. It's not a big, dramatic event like it is in romance novels, it's simply a case of who gives up first. Things got a little too hard for Fred, and instead of hearing Cassie out, he decided to take the easy route and leave. And as the bags under her eyes became heavy, she kept trying to decide which option was worse: giving up on someone when you swore you wouldn't, or waking up to find that they had already given up on you.

——-

Tonks and Remus were worried about her. Cassie knew this. It was evident from their hovering that they wanted to help, but didn't know how to.

For days after the breakup she couldn't bring herself to do anything. Cassie knew she couldn't stay in this state forever, but for now, she drowned in her sorrows. For now, she reminisced about the dark hole in her heart that was once filled with joy and comfort.

Despite them being apart from one another in the majority of their relationship, things still felt different for Cassie. Fred became such an important person in her life and now it's hard to imagine going on in life without him by her side. By now, she has familiarized herself with him, it's been proven to be a nearly impossibly task to try to readjust back to the way things were before she grew close to him.

After writing letters consistently to the same person for a long period of time, it's hard to get used to avoiding the urge of picking up a quill and a piece of parchment. After always feeling the comfort knowing Cassie had Fred despite being far away, it's hard to get used to not having him in her corner. After sharing so many memories with someone special, it's hard to move forward with life as if it never happened.

It was nearly impossibly to find motivation, but Cassie knew because of the role she plays in this war, there wasn't time for her to sit around and mope. She wanted nothing more than to wallow in her sadness, but it simply wasn't feasible. As hard as it would be, she needed to put on a brave face, trying to get over those feelings and act like they aren't there.

It was difficult, but Cassie was no stranger to putting on a mask. She's found it's been much harder this time around pretending everything was fine, but she persevered.

Over these past few days she's had a lot of time to do nothing except think. It surprisingly took up a lot of her time, but during the times where she wasn't staring off numbly, Cassie was reading her Uncle Regulus' journal. Many of his entries are what inspired her to get off her ass. From the journal, Regulus clearly was having much more of a difficult time than a simple break up, yet he was able to push through. All while reading, she couldn't help but wish she could ask how he does it.