I have a duty | a spiderman story

Chapter 29

TW: Self harm

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Peter looked around his surroundings slowly trying to capture every detail in his mind. He breathed in the fresh air all around him. After so long confined to a hospital room the outside world was heaven. He lay down on the soft grass sighing. It felt good to be out. He felt free. 

But deep down he was lost. Deep down he was hurting. He couldn't remember anything of his past life. Glimpses of the past. That was all he got. The sound of someone laughing. The feeling of safety wrapped in a parents arms. He didn't feel any of that anymore. 

He felt water gently splash against his nose and then again before the rain started to pour down. Peter made no effort to move and allowed himself to be soaked by the rain. He felt so alone. So small. So insignificant. Would anyone even notice if he wasn't there?

Suddenly, he heard footsteps running towards him. He braced himself waiting for the impact but when no slap came he breathed out deeply. It was only then he realized the rain had stopped. He frowned confused as he looked around him. The rain was still pounding down but it was avoiding the boy. A bubble surrounded the boy. 

He looked up as a man approached him. 

"Hey Peter" Stephen murmured as he sat down next to the boy. Peter nodded his head in acknowledgement as he lay back down settling himself into the grass. 

"How are you?" The Doctor asked the boy. No reply. He sighed. If Peter didn't want to talk then he wouldn't either. He lay down next to the boy and his cloak lay its self over Peter wrapping him up. The two lay there in silence watching the rain for hours. 

As the sky began to get dark, Stephen heard quiet snores from next to him. He smiled at the boy opening a portal back to the hospital bed. He lay Peter down carefully before shutting the door behind him. 

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He was on the roof of a tower. Carefully he crept towards the edge looking down at all the people below. He gulped taking in a deep intake of breath. 

No one would notice that he was missing. 

No one would care.

That's what the voice inside his head told him. 

That's what he believed.

Suddenly, he was falling. 

Falling.

Falling.

He prepared himself for impact but it never came.

Someone was holding him tightly. Cradling the boy in their arms. The boy lashed out screaming. Why wouldn't they let him just die. He continued to scream and punch his savior, but the person just held on tighter. 

Eventually the boy collapsed giving in. He let out a chocked out sob as he held on to the man.  The two held onto each other as though their lives depended on it. Though I suppose their lives really did depend on it.

The author smiled sadly at the pair. She knew what was to come. 

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Peter slowly opened his eyes. He was back in the hospital bed though he didn't remember how he had gotten here. He thought back to the dream he had just had. 

But had it been a dream? 

It had seemed so real.

A memory perhaps?

A glimpse of the future?

He sighed as he leaned back into the pillows. He wasn't sure anymore.

Weeks passed, every day the same as the last. He woke up was checked on by the doctors then allowed to go outside. Sometimes he'd have visitors. Sometimes they'd try to get him to recall events in the past. Yet he was no closer to unlocking his memories.

There were still nights he'd wake up screaming, coated in sweat and he wouldn't stop screaming despite the doctors best efforts to calm him. At that point they'd jab him with a needle and he'd fall back into a slumber. 

It was all a blur.

He wanted it to end. 

Wanted to feel something other than the emptiness and loneliness eating away at him. He just wanted to feel something. Anything. That's how he found himself hiding behind a tree knife in hand. 

He wasn't sure how he had got there. 

How the knife had ended up in his hand. 

He didn't know why he placed the blade on his arm. 

He didn't understand why he pushed it in. 

He didn't understand why he didn't feel upset or horrified by the blood that dripped from the wound.

The regret would come later. For now all he felt was the relief as pain ripped through his arm. He bit his lip to stop himself from crying out. He was a monster. He wasn't dead. He could still feel. He placed the knife back on his arm pushing it deeper this time as he ran the blade over his arm, breaking the skin. 

He continued to cut line after line into his arm. A wave of exhaustion and nausea rushed through him and he dropped the knife. He breathed heavily as he slumped against the tree surrounded in a pool of his own blood. 

~~~~~

Peter had been outside for quite a while now. Longer than he usually was and Wade had begun to worry. He rushed outside unable to see the boy. He screamed the boys name as ran around trying to find him. He caught a glimpse of red in the corner of his eye. It didn't look natural. He rushed over to it, his worry increasing with each approaching step. 

He gasped in horror at the sight in front of him. Peter lay slumped against a tree, a knife lay abandoned next to him. Blood poured out of his arm. He didn't let his shock consume him as he was quick to scream for a doctor and soon he was being swarmed by doctors and nurses. Wade allowed a tear to fall from his eye as he watched the Doctors carry the boy away. 

He allowed himself to be pulled along and taken to an empty room. He allowed the blanket to be draped over his shoulders. He allowed himself to be sat on a bed. He just stared into space. The image of Peter's broken body filling his mind. He collapsed laying down on the bed. He whimpered bringing the blanket around his body. He found himself fall into a restful sleep. 

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I'm evil I know :) 

you're welcome