Ruin Me Jeon {Jeon Jungkook Fanfiction}

12: Butterfly

~2:30, dormitory~

I slide down against the door as soon as I enter the room. My heart is beating hard against my chest. "Jungkook was drunk, but what's wrong with me?" I whisper to myself, blaming myself for the mistake I made.

My upper teeth press against my bottom lip, making me strangely nervous and happy and more. The girls are on the bed and groaning while twisting and turning. "Forget it," I say to myself and sit on the chair near my desk. It's 2:30, and my mind is fully awake, not even feeling a bit exhausted anymore.

I sigh and open the balcony, walking out to get fresh air and feel the cold breeze, clearing my mind. It is deadly silent, and it is the thing I need the most right now. I grab the railing and close my eyes to feel the fresh and cold air. It feels strange. Everything feels strange. "Gosh, forget it."

I open my eyes after I scold myself just to get my gaze lock with another pair of dark brown eyes. Jungkook is still standing at the spot where I made my worst mistake. My eyes are lingering with his, and none of us is flinching or looking away. It seems like we want to be shameless and look at each other after what happened.

His body turns towards my direction, and my body loosens at his moment. "Water," I hear someone's voice, which snaps me out of his magical gazes. "Water," The nagging starts to get louder. I walk in without giving my last glance at the figure who is still looking at me. "Water."

"Here," I make Bae drink water as she is nagging loudly by now. She immediately falls on the bed and sleeps after drinking water. "More?" I ask but got nothing in reply. "I guess it's a no..."

I keep the glass on the table and peek out of the window just to look out one more time. Just to see him one more time. My heart and mind debate a lot on going out, so I decided to peek out the window. He is still there, staring towards the room's direction to my greatest surprise. It is like he is waiting.

Waiting for me to come out again?

"Whatever," I say and walk to my bed to sleep this whole night away, just to forget what happened and what I did. I don't want to remember tonight. He is not someone who will be by my side even if I want to or even if he wants.

~ 8:30, College corridor ~

I walk into the corridor wearing my oversized white hoodie. When I say oversized, I mean it. The hoodie goes down my knees. I am wearing boots with it and jeans shorts, which aren't visible. I feel exhausted because I didn't get much sleep last night, obviously because of THE JEON JUNGKOOK. Last night's moment isn't leaving my mind, but I decided to pretend that it never happened, as I told Jungkook. I walk to my English class and halt on the way when I see Jungkook flirting with Jihee, who is my senior also Jungkook's. But he was held back, so they are basically the same age.

I somehow feel used and hurt because just last night, he kissed me. Now he is flirting with a lot of touches with Jihee. But it never happened. I repeat my sentence and convince myself again and again. I can clearly see that Jungkook has convinced himself that nothing happened. Jungkook suddenly leans in to kiss Jihee's neck, more like suck. "My pure eyes need to be protected," I whisper to myself, which is followed with a sigh. I walk past them like I didn't see them, pretending to be busy on my phone. "Sinful," I sigh and sit on my seat, and my body is literally feeling lazy.

That doesn't affect me? I think to myself as I realize that the feeling of being used and hurt was in me for a moment but now that he isn't around. I ain't feeling anything like that. My thoughts are interrupted by the teacher and many students entering the class. Jungkook doesn't come in even though he made out near the room. "Why do I care?" I whisper to myself again and start to pay attention in the class.