Our Addiction || Draco Malfoy x Reader

deep pits

    My bed isn't even comfortable at this point, but I can't go out yet.

Pansy was gone before I woke up, and I was just truly confused with myself.

I like Y/n because she doesn't know who I am. She isn't afraid of me, but she doesn't know about me.

That comforts me.

I can pretend with her that I didn't steal documents, while my best friend drugged a woman for information. I can pretend I'm not myself with her.

That's why I used to push Pansy away. She knows who I am. I don't have to pretend, and that's the worst part. She just reminds me, but yet last night. Last night it comforted me. When her lips meant my mark and she reminded me I'm safe it triggered something in me.

Pansy knows and I don't have to hide.

But isn't that what I like about Y/n? I can hide with her. I can pretend, and now I'm holding onto that fact. I'm holding onto her, because I know as soon as Y/n knows, she's gone.

But she's her. Her lips, her smile. I can't ruin that, but I already have. I actually kissed Pansy last night. Even with my head still spinning I know that.

.
"I understand we can't ever let anyone know, or be anything, more, to each other, but could we have an understanding?" She turns to me with her hands crossed over her stomach, failing to hide the fact she's cold.

"What is it?" I ask, smirking to myself. She steps closer and I can finally see her features in the cold darkness. Her cheeks are pink and her lips upturn into a small smile.

"You can't sleep with Pansy, just because your mad. Or any girl for that matter, because even if we can't ever repeat the phrase of us 'being in a relationship'," She grabs my hand. My eyes drop and I surprise myself as I feel blood rush to my cheeks, "means I'm yours, only, I don't share."

She's mine? Her smile drops, waiting me to say something. But my mind is incapable to say anything. What's the right thing to say? I told myself I can't let it go this far.

I told myself I can't let myself fall this hard.

Finally finding words, I speak slowly. "You're mine?"

My platform breaks, and I'm falling. I'm falling to a deep pit waiting for Y/n to catch me.
.

Fucking hell.

Blaise knows, Theo could know right now. He can be waiting for me to walk out and only stare at me.

I fucked the girl he loves to feel something again. To feel ok again, and it didn't even work.

He never said anything months ago. When I would always give in to Pansy, but now... it's different for him.

He likes Y/n as much as the rest of us. He trusted me to be loyal to her, and he let himself finally fall down the deep pit for Pansy too.

He thought it was safe for him to fall now, and I took that away.

~~~~~~

I step out of the burning shower into my bathroom. It didn't help at all, and the fact I haven't stepped out of my room all morning doesn't do anything but make me more suspicious.