Our Addiction || Draco Malfoy x Reader

no control

Here we go again. I'm hoping for a new chapter tomorrow night since it'll be Friday (!!) but this chapter was harder to write since I've been really stressed.

TW: mentions of sexual abuse, panic attack, trauma

Y/n pov:

    I comb my messy hair in a large mirror above Percy's dresser. It's four am and since I can't sleep, neither can Fred.

Or at least he says he can't.

Even though I can see his eyes slowly drift off as he lays above the covers on the bed. He hasn't left the room unless I do too and asked many times if I did just want to be alone.

I didn't.

Once he had calmed me down I felt weird that I barged myself into their house. Fred assured me that they didn't care and I shouldn't feel like I need to go out there and explain if I don't want to. I still went.

I told them I felt terrible for leaving so soon on short notice. Harry didn't believe it. Neither did anyone except Molly who was just happy I'm back.

Fred wouldn't let Harry come close to me to ask. Fred didn't push for me to talk about what happened, he knew there was much more to the story than I had told him.

I only told him Draco slept with Pansy and that they've all known this entire time, including Blaise.

I was embarrassed to say it. He has never talked to Blaise, Theo, and Draco except for when we went to Hogsmeade. Even though I know what they did, I didn't want Fred to hate any of them.

He doesn't know them like how I thought I knew them, and that's what hurts the most. They were all so important to me and Fred won't ever understand how much it meant to me.

I turn to Fred who lays still on the bed. His eyes flutter lightly, holding themselves up until they don't open again to fight it. I want to fall asleep for him. I truly do, but I can't. He's only fighting being falling asleep for me.

Molly didn't have any dreamless sleeps ready and I don't want anything Harry or Ron makes quickly, I don't trust their potion skills.

So I settle for any potions I can find in Percy's bathroom cabinets, when Fred falls asleep for only minutes at a time.

Just something for a buzz. I would take anything right now.

Though, I swore I would replace them as soon as I could of course.

Fred's eyes open again, widely, to catch me staring. "I'm not asleep!"

"You can sleep if you want to, don't try not to just because I'm not."

He sits up rubbing his eyes. His hair sits messily. Once he yawns loudly he stands up from his brothers bed to walk to me.

Fred's sweatpants sit low on his hips and his shirt wrinkles from being folded together for so long.

Maybe Draco was supposed to do this. Maybe I'm supposed to be with Fred.

My mind swarms with different thoughts, all screaming to remind me everything that has ever happened in my life.

Father. Draco. Theo placing his hand on my cheek to kiss me. Goyle. My grandma.