Our Addiction || Draco Malfoy x Reader

relapsing

Draco pov:

    I literally don't know what the fuck to do.

Y/n is suicidal which makes keeping her safe a lot harder then it was going to be. I can't keep all eyes on her either with Pansy always on my heels.

But I can't just let her be either.

It's cold.

Definitely well below freezing by now, but she's asleep. Or at least I think she is.

I've already laid my coat over her but she still shivers in my arms in her sleep. I don't mind the cold but I can't let her freeze like this.

I know as soon as we walk back down into the castle, all the way to the dungeons, we'll have to part ways. She can't sleep in my bed. Not with Pansy walking in at any given moment.

Blaise is probably already looking for us. When he returned after talking to Y/n, he was furious. I can't even think of moments where he's been actually this angered.

Now that I know that he's probably what triggered this, I want to beat the shit out of him.

He's clearly scared her. She should be scared but I don't want that fear to cause her to jump off of the astronomy tower.

I still can't believe she slept with Theo. It was only this morning that she didn't even have to use her wand to slam me against the wall. It was only twenty four hours ago when I heard Theo and her moans turn into harmonized symphonies only next door to my room.

Which fucking sucks by the way.

But I have no room to be angry. I wasn't lying about Pansy. Even though I have no excuse from all of the times with her I can't bring myself to feel sorry for sleeping with her.

I'm sorry that I saw the way it hurt Y/n. But I'm not sorry that it happened, and that's what confuses me the most.

Right in this moment, with her asleep in my arms in the freezing night, I love her. I would've jumped with her if she fell. But when I'm alone, none of it seems to matter.

I almost completely forget about how addictive holding her is.

I only think about myself in those times. How my life 'sucks' and how I just need to get over my depressive episodes.

It all feels stupid and meaningless.

But then I'm back when I see her face and I remember. The only thing I've been able to do for the past weeks when I see her is to fight it. Because all of our lives are in danger just because of the time I kissed her way back when the school year just started.

But none of it will matter. The cabinet should be done in the next two weeks.

~~~~~~~~

Y/n lays on her bed.

I've snuck into her room for the third time this week. I want to spend as much time as I can with her until it's too late.

"You can go back to your dorm, Draco. I won't try to kill my self, tonight." She gives a small smile.

"I'm not leaving." I say unbuttoning my shirt to finally get comfortable. Her eyes go wide for a moment.