Our Addiction || Draco Malfoy x Reader

fake

Y/n pov:

   I walk out of his room fast with Blaise on my heels. Right before my feet turn into the common room his hand grabs my forearm twisting me back onto the wall.

Blaise squints, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

I widen my eyes taken back. Blaise never seemed angry or like this with me, at least. Maybe with Pansy or Draco but he always seemed to disappear with them to scold them. Now I'm being the one scolded.

"I need to go eat with Harry." I squint back.

"I'm sure you can hold off fucking another guy for five minutes."

My jaw drops but before I can say anything more, I'm in Blaise's dorm. His room looks the exact same as the last time I was in here, except it seems darker and more unkept. Clothes lay out on his floor. Books are opened on his nightstands with cologne and different quills sitting on top keeping them open. Three trunks sit in the corner of his room as if he packed to leave for a long time.

"Are you leaving?" I ask pointing the trunks.

He kicks clothes under his bed as if he is embarrassed and answers shortly, "It's for just in case."

"I hadn't meant to sleep with Theo. It just happened." I would've never expected those words to come out of my mouth as many times as they have today.

"Did you mean to start making out with Draco right after too?"

I look up. His eyes are tired and his face seems like he hasn't shaven for days.

My tone comes out weaker then it sounded in my head. "Of course I didn't. I haven't forgiven him. I haven't forgiven you."

"But Theo is just an exception?"

"He just lost Pansy and he's always meant well. Theo wouldn't hurt a fly." I say desperately. I want to be back in my dorm.

Blaise rolls his eyes. "Oh so you don't know? Theo drugged fudges wife weeks ago just for stupid fucking information and ending up having to obliviate her memory."

"He wouldn't."

"God, don't you get it? Both Draco and Theo don't have a choice. I know you think Theo is the 'goofiest' and 'happiest' guy ever, but he's not. They are both in deep shit and you messing with their mind doesn't help."

I open my mouth to talk but Blaise interrupts me, "You can't 'fix' either of them. You're only making it harder for them to do their job in the long run."

"How am I supposed to forget all of you when I can't go a day without thinking about how I'm in love with a death eater? It doesn't matter if he doesn't want to, Blaise, he still is. I've lied to everyone I know in these past weeks and I'm tired. Tired of it all. I'm going to watch the downfall of Hogwarts and the deaths of my friends knowing I could've stopped this. But no, I'm going through my day to day life pretending like this place could be a bonfire next week or the week after that. So I'm sorry that I've made it 'harder' for them to do their jobs."

Blaise states, "You aren't stupid, so stop acting like it. Pansy is holding onto all of our lives with a string and she's waiting for all of us to mess up so she can cut it. Just because you are feeling guilty does not mean you can sleep with Draco's best friend and then kiss him right after."

I stand still. He's right, of course. I actually slept with Theo. They don't even know about when he kissed me.

Blaise begins again after cold silence, "I've said this once and I will say it again. I've been both of their best friends a lot longer than I've been friends with you. I warned Draco that as soon as it got to this point, where I have fucking bags packed, that we'll make you step out because we are not letting you die."

I fidget with my thumb. I don't know how to respond. He cares. They all care. But all of our friendships are going to break whether we like it or not. My goodbye to Draco is about to be my actual goodbye if anything happens to him.

Draco, Theo, and Blaise can die. Not just me. Not just Harry, Hermione, Ron, Luna, and even Lavender Brown.

This is an inevitable death. None of us can run. Even if I ran to Dumbledore right now it will happen. Yes, we have Dumbledore on our side but what if something happens to him?

This whole year feels fake. Not just because of the lies. Because of the fact all of my friends are figuring out what we want to do in life and how we were having the 'time of our life' not knowing that same life can be gone so soon. Hermione might not get to say goodbye to her parents. Will I even ever see Fred again?

Even if do win, what's the cost?

Even if all of us somehow get out of the war untouched, people are going to be left without sisters, brothers, daughters, sons, best friends. They'll be gone forever, taken at the hands of a death eater.

Could Draco and Theo possibly be those people? Could they be murderers? Actual real life killers that take away people they have known since they've been eleven, because they 'don't have a choice'?

What if Harry takes away Draco and Theo's life?

"It all doesn't seem fair." I say swallowing.

I look back up at Blaise whose eyes don't dare to lift up from the ceiling. His body seems lifeless. As if he's already given up. Whether that giving up is knowing the side he's being forced to follow is going to win or if he really is about to watch me die with the rest of Hogwarts.

"When has any of our lives ever been fair?" He asks.

I leave without another word.

What can possibly be better? Dying for your school or instead watching everyone else die in the eyes of a traitor?

I'm someone who knows. I'm someone who loves the enemies and I know it comes to Draco, Blaise, and Theo's life that I will step in or die with them.

I can barely breathe. I can barely see when I step into my dorm and into my bed that has been made by the elves. So stupid. It's all so stupid. I don't want my bed perfect. I don't want my room to be perfect. I hate that the elves straightened out the picture frames on my walls of the Golden Trio and I in our first year, with all of our smiles crooked, but happy. Hermione was glaring but keeping her smile at Ron in the photo as his arm slinks around all of us to pull her hair. Or of the picture I took of Harry flying his broom and stealing the golden egg with everyone's face looking bewildered.

Fake.

This dream life of being a witch is fake.

I throw my pillows on the ground along with the blankets. I stand on top of the bare bed as fumble with my wand with my hands shaking. I shoot hexes into my drawers, sending different drawers and clothes onto the ground. I shoot at my mirror sending broken glass shattering to the ground. Soon the same pictures are on the ground ripped to pieces.

All so stupid, I cry. I step onto the ground and pull the blanket around my shoulders. I wish my dorm had windows. It's all so dark and depressing. I wish my hair was shorter. It wouldn't be so annoying and fucking frizzy. I wish I never received my Hogwarts letter. Maybe father would love me. Maybe I could be normal. I would've never known Draco or even Harry Potter. I wouldn't know of such a war and could live happily.

I open my eyes to see Fred's present on the floor in shreds next to Draco's necklace who sat perfectly fine.

________

Ello

I'm really sorry if there's mistakes in this I haven't had time to read it through!!!!

Comment and vote<3

Ps I'm on spring break now so I'm going to have a lot of extra time to post!!!