The competition (explicit marvel fiction)

Are you ready?

You both walk out of the gym, he pulls you in for one last kiss.
"Got to make the most of it"
You look at him and laugh
"Didn't think of that did you"
he is standing just in his boxers.
You both head back to find the team, you catch Bruce on your way.
"Oh Agent Hunter, just the person" he then sees Bucky looking him up and down "oh"
"We've just been training" "someone didnt pack some clothes for after his shower" you quickly say before he makes assumptions.
"Come with me, Tony's been working tirelessly on something for you, and he thinks its ready"
You begin to follow him, "i will come and join you, just let me get come fresh clothes first"
"Tony has been working on something for me?" "I thought he'd been spending all his time on Hydra?"
"Well You thought wrong Miss Hunter"
You arrive at Tonys office, place your kit down and walk in.
Bucky is a couple if minutes behind.
Tony looks his way, "we were on our way back from... errr what was it we were doing? Oh yeah, training, when we bumped Bruce, and I'm interested in what you've made for H"
"If you don't mind?"
They stare at each other. You break the silence.
"Okay..." "So, Mr Stark, So yeah, Bruce told us you've been working on something for me?"
You look concerned but equally excited
"This" he holds up a vile with blue liquid running through it
"Whats that?" you look to Bucky, he's equally concerned
"This isn't an experiment is it Tony?" he says
"I wont allow you to experiment on her, not after, well you know exactly what"
"Calm down Bucky" he rolls his eyes
"This isn't an experiment, i think this will work"
"You think? What is it supposed to even do to me?"
"Im 90% sure it will work"
"90% what about the other 10% Tony? Sounds like you need to go back in that lab of yours and get that to 100%" Bucky is getting protective now.
"Id like to see you do better Mr Barnes"
They're face to face now
"For goodness sake stop!" "Mr Stark, what is this for?"
He brakes his stare with Bucky.
"This will reverse the effects of your emotions Miss Hunter" "this is the start"
You nearly loose your balance
You have so many questions but they wont come out. Bucky sits next to you.
He knows what you're thinking.
"You need this H, it might not be 100%" he looks at Tony
"But you need this, whats running through your blood right now shouldn't be there, you should feel, you need to feel"
"I can't, i can't do this" "sorry Mr Stark i cant"
You get up and walk out, taking a deep breath you head outside.
Bucky, Bruce and Tony watch you leave
"Well i will be honest, i wasn't expecting that" Tony looks surprised
"She will come around, she has too" "Let me speak with her"
"No, i'll go, maybe i need to apologise" Tony leaves to go and find you.
***
Your sitting outside, you needed the fresh air. Tony comes and sits next to you.
"Im Sorry, i should of known you might not be ready, i was just so eager to help you, i should of thought about it more"
You rest your head on his shoulder
"You are one of the kindest people i have ever met Mr Stark, so please don't apologise, i appreciate your efforts, i really do, I'm just.... i, actually don't know what"
"I have times where i think I'm normal, mostly when I'm with you all laughing, having fun, then I'm brought back to reality and i feel dead. Because thats what i am Mr Stark, I'm dead inside. I don't know what actual happiness feels like, what its like to love & be cared for, i can imagine it and pretend i do but i don't, but equally i don't know what Heartache feels like, grief, sadness. If that all comes back to me Mr Stark, i have to face the bad and from what little i know about my past, theres a-lot more of that than the good, i don't think i can take that on, i don't think I'm strong enough, i don't know if i ever will be"
Tony stays silent, his hand resting on your leg, you place yours on top of his. He looks up to the sky, you both gently rock on the chair swing taking in the peacefulness.
"Can you live like that forever, to never feel love, never understanding how you feel about people, feeling how they feel for you?"Tony breaks the silence
"I want to feel all those things, i really do, but what if they aren't what i imagine them to be, what if they aren't worth the pain of remembering"
"Trust me Miss Hunter, feeling love, even for a second helps to take even the biggest pains away"
"Why does this mean so much to you, me getting my emotions back, I've watched you working tirelessly for weeks, thinking it was all about the fight with Hydra, whereas it wasn't, you've been doing all this? For me? Why Mr Stark?"
"Because i do what i can for the people i care about Miss Hunter, i don't expect you to understand, not yet anyway, but i will never stop trying to help you become the person that you truly are and deserve to be"
You squeeze his hand tighter and close your eyes.