nothing left for you - {y.kh x s.hs}

donor

My birthday was amazing. Our lunch date went well and we spent the entire day together. Wonho came through for me on one of the days I hate and if I didn't love him enough, this set it in stone. "So," Wonho smiled, swinging my arm as we walked the park. "How was your birthday? How do you feel?"

I smiled widely. "I feel like I'm floating on air. Like I can do anything." My phone started ringing again.

"Okay, maybe you should answer that." Wonho sighed, pausing so I could check it.

I rolled my eyes, taking my phone out. "It's just Min, wondering where we are. I'm with you, that's all he needs to know." I put my phone back in my pocket.

He decided not to fight me on it. "Just make sure you call him when we're heading home? I don't want him worried about you." I agreed, starting to walk next to him again.

The autumn air was perfect. Crisp without extreme chill. Like a spring day. I turned and looked at our surroundings, seeing the leaves fly away from their branches. That's when I caught a glimpse of this man, sitting on a bench. His cries audible from the sidewalk we were on. "Awe... poor guy. Can we go check on him?" Wonho let me lead the way to go talk to him. "Excuse me, sir?" I asked, slowly approaching the man.

He was dressed in a black trench coat and suit. "Oh," he sniffled. "Hello." I froze up a bit, anxiety taking over. I wasn't sure why, but I couldn't pin it.

"Are you okay?" Wonho asked, holding my waist softly.

The man nodded. "Yeah," he sighed. "I just... lost both of my kids tonight."

His voice was haunting. Was he even real? Reality was starting to shift for me. "What happened?" I asked, pushing away the invasive thoughts.

"Well, one of my kids was in a car accident tonight and he was dead on impact." I furrowed my eyebrows sitting next to him. "The other, today is his birthday and he overdosed. I feel like the ground beneath me is crumbling to swallow me whole."

I took a deep breath. "Today's my birthday. I'm sorry for your losses." I said, hoping the man would look up at me.

He did, eyes reddened even in the moonlight. "I wasn't the smartest man... I didn't even get to say goodbye to either of them. I haven't even told one of them how much I loved them. I-I heard that the one who overdosed a while ago was in the hospital and I couldn't get here to see him. And now that I have, he's dead."

Wonho could feel my discomfort radiate. "Babe, we should go. Min's worried." I shook my head.

"Wh-What did he overdose on?" I asked. "And his name?"

The next few words made me sick to my stomach. "Heroin, apparently. His name was Kihyun." No. Fuck no.

I slowly stood up, walking away from this man. Who I don't think I can even call him now. "You believe in ghosts, John?"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "How do you know my name?" He asked. I kept silent to see how long it'd take him to realize.

He wasn't catching on. "Who told you I overdosed, John? Who called you? I asked for you when I needed you, when I was a kid. When my mother begged you to see me every single year on this day for ten years. When I needed a father. Who fucking called you?"

John gasped softly. "Kihyun?" He asked, reaching for a hug. I stepped away from him, accidentally hitting Wonho.

"Don't fucking touch me." The motherfucker had the audacity to act like he missed me. "I'm sorry you lost your son. But let's be brutally fucking honest. You never fucking had me. I am not your fucking son. Don't you dare act like you loved me or missed me or gave a damn about me." I rushed away, turning to get to Wonho's car.

My phone rang again. I answered it quickly. "Kihyun, your-"

I started screaming immediately. "Sperm donor's here? Yeah, I fucking ran into him in the goddamn park! He's in pieces over the 'two sons' he's lost tonight. Which one of you fucking told him I was dead?" Wonho caught up to me, holding me closely.

"Dad probably did, I haven't spoken to him at all." Minhyuk sighed. "Calm down, it's okay."

I scoffed. "Spare me your perky optimistic bullshit. He's crying over losing his son. He got into a car wreck tonight. The one he raised and fucking cares about. Why the fuck would any of you tell him anything about me?" We got to the car and I got into the front passenger's seat before fully breaking down.

Minhyuk shushed me softly. "I didn't talk to him, Ki. Dad did. Do not yell at me, I've been trying to call you and warn you."

He was right. That wasn't fair to him. "Okay, that's not right for me to yell at you. I'm sorry. But I'm pissed. I'm pissed and hurt and I'm coming home." I sighed softly, hanging up immediately.

"Wait!" The man was following us. I turned and saw him behind us as Wonho got in.

I shook my head, urging Wonho to turn the car on. We parallel parked since there wasn't any one around tonight. As soon as the car turned on, I put us in reverse. I didn't care, I was pissed off and I wanted him away from us. When Wonho hit the gas, we jerked backwards. "Kihyun, what the fuck?" He yelled, surprised that we were in reverse. John knocked on Wonho's window. He rolled it down start g to apologize immediately.

"Don't fucking say shit to that prick!" I yelled. I was pissed the fuck off. Furious. I saw red.

Wonho grabbed my arm roughly. "Hey!" He snapped. "I'm not gonna fucking kill the guy because you have a problem with him!"

I rolled my eyes, snatching away from him. "Oh fucking save it, you damn near put Changkyun in the hospital. Just fucking drive." I scoffed.

"What happened?" What the fuck did this guy want to care so bad for?

I rolled up Wonho's window for him, signaling him to drive. I just put my earbuds in, trying to relax. "Don't fucking do that again, Kihyun. I swear to God I will walk away. What if we were in a full parking lot and people saw me ram him? What if we hit another car? Don't fucking do that shit again."

He was starting to piss me off too. "Oh I'm so fucking sorry that was the first man to break my heart and he never fucking paid for it." My voice cracked in the middle. "That's my fucking fault." I was fully aware that I was being crazy. But I couldn't switch it off.

Wonho fell silent for the rest of the ride. When we got home, I jumped out of the car, running upstairs before he could even shut the car off. Minhyuk was waiting for me when I unlocked the door. "Do you need a-" I ignored him and went straight to my room, slamming the door.

Rage. That's all I felt. With nothing to take it out with. I started throwing my bedsheets around, throwing anything I could get my hands on, tears incessantly streaming. I was having the best day and he just fucked it up, like he's fucked everything in my life up thus far.