nothing left for you - {y.kh x s.hs}

burned

When we got home after going to a meeting to try to detox every impurity that conversation was, I made my way upstairs to see Wonho. I hadn't seen him since yesterday. I apologized to him while I got ready to go meet the Devil in person. But I still needed to see him and be with him. "Wonnie," I whimpered, dry sobs leaving my throat. "Baby, I need you right now. Are you busy?" I asked as I knocked on the door. He'd left his door open. Was he expecting me or Hyungwon? "Wonho?" I called, walking into his apartment.

Wonho came out of his bedroom, seemingly depressed about something. "What's up?" He asked. I furrowed my eyebrows, walking to him. It took him a second but he broke down shortly after. "I'm sorry, uhm..." He whimpered. "I got word from my sisters back home and my mom isn't doing too well. She's starting to struggle with her memory and everyday tasks. She's showing signs of early onset dementia. And it just kinda hit hard."

I've grown as a person, I've noticed. Usually, I would say the first thing on my mind, which would be "Wow, I wish I had dementia. I'd be able to forget things I want to forget." Instead, I wrapped my arms around him and let him let his emotions go. "I'm sorry this is happening to you love. But it's going to be okay. I know your mother is your rock." I honestly wasn't sure what I was supposed to say. I hadn't had my mother for years. I guess I would feel like this if something happened to Minhyuk.

"Thank you," he sighed. "I'm okay. What's wrong, why'd you need me?" Wonho was a bleeding heart. Even when he needed to be concerned for himself and have his feelings, he always wanted to help someone else.

I just shrugged. "You don't have to listen to it. Only if you want to." Wonho nodded, offering to sit down with me. "I met with John today," I sighed.

Wonho raised his eyebrows. "I can tell it already didn't go well." I shook my head before answering.

"He basically told me my mom was a common whore, I got my addiction tendencies from her. He acts like he wasn't in his late 20s, fucking with a teenager. Like he didn't abandon us. He called me a sin and I called him six times the sinner." I leaned into Wonho. "I did want it to work. I wanted to reconnect with him." Wonho reached off the side of his couch, grabbing his laptop. "What are you doing?" I asked.

Wonho turned his laptop on, sitting back. "We are about to see who this motherfucker really is." I cocked an eyebrow and just sat back, giving him the information I had on him. After Wonho went digging and digging back into the news from my hometown, we froze up as the search populated.

"Collingswood, New Jersey... that's it." I began reading the headlines.

"Collingswood Pastor Under Fire For Grooming Teen"
"Mount Sinai of Collingswood Releases Pastor"

I wanted to vomit. "He's always worked there, they're just now figuring out how shitty he is?!" I yelled, seeing how recent the date was.

Wonho's eyes widened. "You mean to tell me... This isn't the first time he's done this?"

I shook my head. "The first was my mother, she was 16 and addicted to drugs." I continued reading the article. "Oh my God," I scoffed. "He has a daughter... she's a newborn." I kept reading because the sinking feeling in my stomach was about to prove something to me.

"The teenager in question recently gave birth," Wonho read slowly. "Holy shit."

And that's when I started to cry. "I have to do something... I-I have to. Maiya is my sister, the newborn. And this man shouldn't keep having kids. Not when he treats them like me, or gets them from people like my mother. What part of his brain doesn't recognize that our mothers were and still are children?" For once in my life, I didn't want to drink at the announcement of troubling information. I just wanted a plan.

"But they still live in New Jersey, what are you going to be able to do?" Wonho asked. "You can't go back because Jooheon and Changkyun are there."

I sighed a bit. "To be fair, they're anywhere I am. They find me." I started thinking the possibilities of me going home. Not possible. I dragged Minhyuk out here and moved him away from everyone. How fucked would it be to move back after we've just gotten settled here? I also had Wonho to think about.

He started searching alternatives. "Would you consider adopting her? Working out something where you get power of attorney over her?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "You think they'll give a newborn baby to a newborn clean gay guy?" I asked.

"Okay, fair," Wonho chuckled. "We could always pray that John ends up in trouble while he's here. As dickish as he was today, I don't think he'd give her to a total stranger."

That was a far cry, he was leaving soon. "I guess... I just feel fucking useless. If I would've known this,
I would've played my cards differently today. I would've gained his trust. Minhyuk had a connection right away, gushing over Maiya. I didn't want anything to do with her. I was actually jealous of a baby, having the father in her life that I wanted. But that's not a father I needed in my life. And she doesn't deserve to be stuck with him either." My phone started to ring. "Speak of the literal fucking devil."

I picked up my phone, and immediately John began motor mouthing. "Kihyun, I need you to meet me at the cafe again. Please, I just want to talk bring who you want but can we just ride and talk?" Wonho could hear him and he nodded, telling me he'd go with us if I wanted to.

"Fine, John. But no more berating me. You learned pretty damn quickly that I don't play that shit anymore." I got up and grabbed a blanket that Wonho bought me while I was in the hospital.

John agreed quickly, "That's perfectly fine. I want to hear you. Listen to you."

"Okay, fine, whatever." I hung up shortly after. Wonho and I got ready to go.

Wonho grabbed my hand and stopped me from walking out. "We're sharing our location with Minhyuk and Mr. Lee," he said. "I don't feel right about this." I nodded, turning mine on and explaining to them what was happening. So I guess we're talking with John again.