nothing left for you - {y.kh x s.hs}

alone.

"You cannot stay here with me forever," I chuckled, slightly shoving Minhyuk to the door. "I will be fine. I'm gonna look into getting a job and setting up promotional things for my photography."

Minhyuk smiled widely. "I haven't heard you talk about photography for years... I'm so glad you're looking into it. Don't be afraid to call my job if you need me in an emergency." I nodded, letting him go. Wonho and Minhyuk worked in Anaheim, thirty minutes away. If anything were to go wrong, I think I'd be fucked. Luckily, Jooheon was gone. I was free.

After an hour of applying to jobs, there was a knock on the door. I furrowed my eyebrows, not expecting any company. "Hell-" I froze in place, staring at another motherfucker who ruined me.

"Hey bud!" Changkyun smiled, starting to walk in. I shifted into the small opening that would've allowed him to come in. We were the same height but he had more muscles to him. He always had decent abs, I would have to work at them. "Aw, I can't come in?" I shook my head, lost for words. "I didn't hear a no." He pushed past me, coming into my home anyway. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

I had my phone in my pocket? That was decent enough. "Wh-What are you doing here?" I asked, still by the door. My anxiety was high and my words would be ineffective.

Changkyun chuckled at me. "What, I can't visit an old friend?" He asked.

"We're... we're not friends." I avoided looking at him, not sure if that was smart or not. Last time I saw him, before I ran away? He beat my ass to kingdom come, because I was still with Jooheon. What did he want now?

He had the nerve to look offended. "We're not friends?" I shook my head. "Aw, I would think since we shared a common interest for so long, we'd be best buds. But you did always like to take what didn't belong to you."

I couldn't move, still frozen by the door. "No. No, he wasn't mine. He wasn't mine, he was all yours." Which was half true. He definitely held more of Jooheon than I did.

"You just got out of the hospital huh?" I looked up to see him by the desk. Where my laptop, some of my photography equipment, and hospital bands and paperwork was. "Admitted after an opioid overdose? Oh, Kihyun." Changkyun turned to face me while staring at my file. "Are you okay now?"

No. I wasn't. I needed help. I needed him gone. "How did you find me?" I asked.

Changkyun shrugged. "Jooheon knew. So I knew. I know everything he knows." I wanted to vomit. I felt so small, in the middle of my own apartment. "Listen, Kihyun. I just came to give you a parting gift. Call a truce. I know it's your favorite."

He raised a ziplock from his inside coat pocket. "Keep it. A truce is a truce, you don't leave anything behind in a truce." I looked away from him again. Jooheon and Changkyun had to be children of Satan. Why in the fuck would he come into my home, where I wasn't bothering anyone, and offer me a Molotov cocktail of drugs and their respective paraphernalia. I could tell there was coke, meth, and heroin in there for sure. A syringe was conveniently placed in there.

"It's all yours," Changkyun smiled. "Don't worry about the syringe. That's yours too." Stop it. Stop it, leave me alone. I just wanted to scream but I couldn't... "Kihyun you are nothing but a fucking druggie. So get used to it and take your fucking bag."

I started crying and I knew that was means for mocking. "No... I'm clean." I wanted to stay clean. I knew if I took them, hid them, anything that wasn't honest? I would not only break sobriety, I would be lying to Minhyuk, Wonho, Dr. Lin, and myself.

"Aw, you're clean?" Changkyun asked. "So was Minhyuk for ten years, he ain't shit either. He told me everything, I was his best friend. I should beat your fucking ass, I lost my best friend and almost lost my boyfriend because of you." He threw the bag at me. "I hope you lose your fucking life. Because you're not shit, Kihyun. You're never gonna see ten years. You won't see ten months, not even ten weeks. Because as soon as I walk out of this apartment? You're gonna snort and shoot yourself into a heart attack and die right here where there's not one person to save you. You are your worst enemy. Stop blaming me and Jooheon for the mess you created and chose to stay in." As he started to walk away, heading to the door, the tears stopped. "Your little excursion almost cost Joo his freedom. Don't fuck with me, Kihyun. I've won. I'll keep winning. You pussy ass bitch." I moved away from the door so he could leave and I locked the door immediately after he left.

As I slid down the wall opposite of the door, I felt one thing devour me. Isolation. I was completely isolated. It was only an hour after Minhyuk clocked in, I couldn't bother him. And I did let Changkyun in before checking who was there through the peephole. This was my fault too. I stared at the bag on the floor. The fucker had a point. If Minhyuk could break ten years, what made me think I'd get anywhere close? I reached in my pocket and shakily pulled out my phone. I had to call someone.

"Hello, you've reached Minhyuk. Leave your name and phone number and I'll call you back as soon as possible." Okay... next one.

"Hey, it's Wonho. I'm not able to take your call right now so leave your name and number and I'll get back to you." Goddamn it.

"This caller has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet. Please try again later. Goodbye." Wow, not even my dad?

"Linden Trading Company, may I please put you on hold?" Sure, I guess that was fine. At least I would've gotten in touch with someone.

As I waited for over 15 minutes, I was left just staring the bag down. I had to get rid of it. It shouldn't be here in my living room. I heard the building door shut downstairs. "Fuck," I mumbled, taking the bag and rushing to the bathroom. My door was gone, I couldn't hide it in my room.

I was closing in on 20 minutes on hold and I was stressed beyond stressed. There were two blunts in the bag. These weren't bad. Weed isn't even really a drug. I can just light one for my anxiety, which is off the charts right now. I hung up the phone, reaching in the back to take out one blunt. I looked in the drawers for a lighter. Minhyuk loved candles and kept them in the bathroom.

As soon as I found a lighter, I went ahead and lit the blunt, taking a good long drag off of it. God, that felt good. But soon after that drag, I realized I needed something strong. I fucked up and I knew it. There was no one to blame but me. At least I was still taking responsibility for my faults.