nothing left for you - {y.kh x s.hs}

rebuild

I was serious about moving out. Not even a week later and I was moving into my new apartment. I hadn't seen Minhyuk and I hadn't let him see Maiya. Wonho had decided to co-parent with me in a way. He spent the night to come help me with her. I was determined to be without Minhyuk.

Wonho helped me on move in day, helping me take shifts of moving my things into my new apartment and taking care of Maiya. On one of my trips back to Minhyuk's, he finally decided to speak to me. "Kihyun, just tell me where you are. I need to make sure you're safe." He said, whimpering softly.

"Like you've done that so well in the past few years, Minhyuk." I hated using his full name and tried to shorten it or call him Bear if I could help it. I used Minhyuk when something was serious, if I was really upset, or terribly pissed off. Figure out which one I am.

He began crying, rushing to his door. "Stop!" He stood in front of me, blocking my way. This was my last trip, I was done after this and he knew it. "Please, just talk to me! I can't take you not talking to me."

I looked at how he stood in front of me. "Are you off the wagon?" I asked. This is what we did when we were stressed. And he broke a decade sober over me before, I didn't trust him not to have broken again.

"A little weed, but that's it." He sighed, wiping his tears.

I glared at him up and down. "Yeah because weed includes needle marks in your fucking arms, Minhyuk!" He dropped his arms, covering the evidence. "Where is it?" I asked.

He shook his head, "No." Minhyuk sat back down on the couch. "No, fucking leave, I'm not telling you."

I scoffed, setting my box down. "I swear to God, if you broke just to manipulate me into staying, I might actually hate you for the rest of my fucking life. Minhyuk, where the fuck is it?" I screamed, starting to rampage the way he would've if I was back on drugs.

"Kihyun!" He said, trying to stop me from looking through the coffee tables and desk drawers. "Go fuck yourself!"

I went as far as to look behind the TV. "No, because you're not gonna do this to me!" I screamed. "You're not gonna kill yourself because I told you off for fucking up my life. I'm not letting that happen." And the TV was the spot. He taped a fucking syringe to the back. "I'm calling Dad, he'll be on the first flight back out here." My voice shook as I pulled my phone out.

Minhyuk tackled me to the ground, trying to get my phone away from me. "Why do you fucking care?" He screamed. "This is all I fucking do, ruin people. Just let me do what the fuck I do."

I flipped us around, kneeling on his arms, keeping them pinned down. He couldn't get me off of him like that. He was also either high or coming down from his high, he was easy to defeat. "Hello?" Dad said, already worried.

"Kihyun, I swear to God, I'll kill you!" Minhyuk tried to bite my leg to get me off of him.

I held his face in my hand, keeping him completely in place. "You can't fucking kill me if you're dead from a heroin overdose, you fucking dipshit!" And finally, I began to cry. "I'm mad as hell at you, but I still don't want you fucking dead, Minhyuk. Dad, he's fucking shooting up, I need you here ASAP, please."

Minhyuk cried, finally giving up on fighting me. "I hate you," he whimpered, as I moved off of his arms.

"Call 911, Kihyun. I'll be there by tomorrow," Dad sighed, hanging up. I hurried up and called 911 before Minhyuk could fight me again.

After I hung up with them, I just sat there, holding Minhyuk so he wouldn't run away. "I'm sorry, Kihyun," he cried.

I shook my head, sighing softly. "Shut up," I mumbled. "I don't care." I didn't anymore. I just wanted him safe and clean.

As soon as the ambulance came for him, I left. The whole ride back to my apartment was silent. When I got home, Wonho let me in. "I was starting to get worried about you."

I dropped my box and rushed into his arms as I burst into tears. "Minhyuk broke again," I whimpered.

"What do you mean?" He asked, shushing me softly.

I just cried. "H-he fucking shot up. Weed's whatever, but he used heroin while I was gone. And I-I don't know why." It was easy to say it was his guilt. It was just as possible that it was manipulative. I didn't trust him anymore, I had no idea what was going through his head.

"Calm down, baby," Wonho sighed. "I'll go watch him later, try to get something out of him. Maiya's been sleeping this whole time." I nodded, sitting down to take a breath. I couldn't believe Minhyuk broke like that. Not to that extreme.

I was starting to feel bad about the things I said on him. "I feel like that's his way of trying to make me regret saying what I said to him. Like he's trying to teach me a lesson. That's how bad I no longer trust him," I sighed, wiping my eyes.

Wonho sat down next to me, holding my hand. "He broke 10 years because he thought he was losing you, Kihyun. With weed. Thinking he was in the process of losing you. He knew he had lost you, and he gave up. Kihyun, he's not trying to fuck with you. He's hurting. He's scared. And  heroin makes him not scared." I nodded, knowing he was right. It just terrified me to know we almost because the horror story of him and his cousin. I could stay mad at him or I could forgive him and we could rebuild. But I couldn't depend on him anymore, it wasn't safe for him, it wasn't safe for me, and it wasn't safe for Maiya.