nothing left for you - {y.kh x s.hs}

the mantra

I don't stay. I made that rule when I moved here. I don't bring anyone to my apartment, I fuck in bathrooms if I have to. The only ones who have seen the inside of my apartment are me and my brother. Well, my childhood best friend turned sponsor, but that's a different story. Minhyuk and I have been through some shit together. We're polar opposites really for being born two weeks apart. I suppose the small time shift between our zodiacs is what that is. That's what my younger sister would say.

Minhyuk and I used to be switched. He was the wild child and I was the one with my head screwed in all the way. Then I met... I don't even want to say his name. That fucker ruined me. And at that same time, Minhyuk had fucked up so much that he needed to get right. While I was on a dark path, he'd gone straight edge. Now, he's the one who's okay. I'm the one screwed up.

Four years ago, I was in shitty little town in New Jersey. Four months ago, I moved to L.A. with Minhyuk. Four weeks ago, I got black out drunk and Minhyuk almost couldn't wake me up. Four days ago, I went on a binge, and four minutes ago, I stumbled out of a club bathroom, barely able to walk. But it wasn't because of the sex, I was just high off my ass. And I could swear that four seconds ago, someone called after me. "Hey!" Damn, I was right. Had to be the guy I just fucked. It couldn't be Minhyuk, he stays at home at 10 o'clock at night fucking reading.

I spun around a little too fast, swaying back. I felt someone catch me. "Ugh, let go of me," I slurred, pushing away from him. As I pushed, I almost ate shit on the pavement.

"No, hey," the guys said, catching me again. "Give me your keys," he sighed. "Damn, I feel like a fucking asshole." I didn't see why, no one ever said this before. It was kinda funny. I guess I really laughed though. "I didn't realize you were fucked up like this... Give me your keys. I had like two shots."

I shook my head, insisting on being alone. I knew what was coming. "No, no. I'm fine," I shrugged. He finally let me go and I went down.

I heard him walking up to me. "Listen, just let me drive you home, get you inside and then I'll get an Uber. You're either gonna sleep in your car all night and I'll bring your keys to you in the morning, or you're letting me drive you home. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be home instead of in a sleazy alleyway in my car." That's the last thing I remembered.

I woke up to being fucking waterboarded. "Fuck!" I screamed out, throwing myself up. The sudden movement paired with the massive hangover migraine I had sent whatever bile was in my stomach to the floor in front of me.

"Detox, meeting, I'm watching you for a while." Minhyuk was pissed, not hard to tell.

I rolled my eyes. "Did you have to damn near drown me though? Where am I?"

Minhyuk scoffed slightly. "Kitchen floor, and yes. I'd rather you die drowning than from an overdose, Kihyun. I don't appreciate a random man bringing you to our door, you knocked the fuck out. You probably fucked him too right?" I started to stand up slowly with Minhyuk's help. As soon as I got up, I hurled into the trash can again. "I'm just glad these guys have been bringing you home to me. You're my little brother, you're my responsibility. And I would burn this fucking city down if I found out you were hurt." I pulled away from him, sniffling a bit.

And where were you when... he was in my life? Why didn't you burn the goddamn city down then? "I know. I'm sorry." He handed me a glass of water that I chugged. "I'm still... he's still stuck in my head."

Minhyuk nodded. "I know, and I'm here to help you. I know how much you needed to move away and I'm not leaving you by yourself. Not yet." I smiled softly, groaning a bit. I wasn't proud of myself, but I knew just how far I'd pushed myself and what level of detox I was at. Probably between at home and outpatient. I'd probably fight Minhyuk if he tried to get me in another inpatient program.

"Who brought me home last night?" I asked.

Minhyuk shrugged. "It started with an H. He said he opened your phone with your thumbprint and texted himself so you could tell him you were okay today." Wow, this guy was really considerate. I do like a change in pace sometimes, but I still hate to break it to him.

I trusted my way to my room, plopping down on my bed. My blackout curtains were my best friends at the time. When I turned on my phone. My brightness was even turned all the way down. I never remembered to do that.

There was a text from a Wonho? Is that who brought me home?

Me:
hello
Read 12:32AM

Wonho:
Hey, Kihyun is it? Please text me when you come to so I know you're okay. And I'm really sorry for last night, I feel awful. Like I took advantage of you. I know we consented and you were all on me, but I feel like you really didn't know what was going on. I just feel really guilty and I'm really sorry. I hope you're okay.

Wow, this guy... he thought too much. Too much sober time on his hands.

Me:
no worries, Wonho. I'm alive and well, thank you for bringing me home last night. And don't sweat it. I wanted it, I promise. Have a good one.

Short and sweet, that's all he needed. That's all he was gonna get. And in two more weeks, I'll be right back out doing the same damn thing.

And then I get Minhyuk yelling from the living room for me. I groaned, getting up and slinking back into the living room. "Please don't yell, my head feels like I've been fucking shot." I looked up to see that guy with Minhyuk.

"I was actually pleasantly surprised to know you lived here... I just moved in last week. I wanted you to text me so I could bring you some lunch." Wonho handed me a takeout box. "It's full of good hangover foods. Beef and broccoli with rice. The carbs and the meat are really good at fighting it off."

I nodded softly, reaching for the box. "Thank you," I smiled softly. "But you should really go now. Forget about last night. It's better to not know me." As I made my way back to my room, I heard the two of them talking.

"Did I make him upset by overstepping?" Wonho asked softly.

Minhyuk sighed a bit, opening the door. "No, it's not you. That's just how he is. Thank you for bringing him back last night." I sighed, sliding down my door. That's just how I am... just my luck, I had to run into one of the seemingly considerate guys. I already knew it was gonna be a struggle to shake him.