The Ruthless (Quantum Meruit Series #1)

16. Doomed

16.
Doomed

━━━━━━━

Gusto ko ba talaga ‘to?

Ito ba talaga ang gusto kong maging sa buong buhay ko?

Shit. Mahigpit yata talaga ang pagkakasabunot sa akin kaya nabunot pati ang mga itinago-tago kong mga tanong at takot.

Pero ito nga ba talaga ang gusto ko?

“Are you okay, Miss Barrameda?”

Dahan-dahan kong nilingon si Sigfred na saka ko lang naalalang nasa tabi ko pala. He was eyeing me intently. The creases on his forehead showed how he was curious of my thoughts.

He was fine now. Wala na ang pilay niya sa braso. Wala pa ring lead sa nambaril sa kanya at napapansin kong parang wala na rin siyang ganang i-pursue pa ang kung anumang binabalak niya sa mga iyon. Sanay na raw kasi sabi ni Ate Myla.

“Ah, yes,” sagot ko saka ngumiti.

He didn’t believe my answer but he didn’t push it. Thank God.

We just came from a trial, acts of lasciviousness, and on our way to the office.

Huminga ako nang malalim at niyuko ang kinang ng mga stilleto ko.

Since that incident in his office, I had been in extreme anxiety for everything that I was doing. I began to question again the choices I made. But this time, it was more intense.

Para sa akin ba talaga ito? Dapat ba talaga akong maging abogado? Wala na ba talagang atrasan ito?

Handa na ba akong kamuhian ng mga taong masama ang tingin sa propesyong ito?

For the past years, I was able to push aside the evils of my desire and forcefully celebrated my small wins in this path. I learned to be safe with the place I chose. I was becoming comfortable.

But maybe I was pushing myself too much that it cut me deeper this time.

“Sigfred!”

A familiar man came to us killing the race between my feet. A memory of him with Sigfred in that particular restobar came to me that almost made me snap my fingers.

“O, nasa kabilang bayan ang korte mo, a,” my companion teased. “Ba’t ka napadpad dito?”

Oh, so this guy wasn’t a lawyer but a judge? Cool! So it meant he was older, or way older than us. But wow. He looked really young in his three-piece suit!

The judge laughed and shook his head. “Nagtatampo si Marina. Hindi ka raw dumalo sa reunion. Ba’t ka nga pala ‘di pumunta?”

“I told her I was on a trip! Galit pala ‘yon? Kaya pala ‘di pa sini-seen ang chat ko.”

They continued to converse and all that was left for me to do was to look at them. I learned later on his name was Efren. He gave me this kind of vibe which was telling me he broke hearts when he was younger. He had an angular jaw with some hairs that I didn’t remember seeing the last time we were in the same premise. But maybe they were too far so I wasn’t that sure. He also got a beautiful smile and droopy eyes. Hindi rin nagkakalayo ang tindig nilang dalawa ni Sigfred. Parehas silang tila tore sa tangkad.

They weren’t direct but I sensed that they were brothers – fraternity brothers. Common naman talaga ang fraternities sa law school. Pero hindi ko lang ini-expect na kasali pala si Sigfred sa isa.

“Is she the one you were talking about?”

Napakurap-kurap ako nang bigla-bigla ay nasa akin na ang usapan. The judge was fondly looking at me like he knew something I didn’t. It made me curious and uncomfortable.