The Ruthless (Quantum Meruit Series #1)

10. First

10.
First
━━━━━━━

Gusto ko ng gintong pala. Panghukay lang sa libingan ko.

I knew I could be reckless. But I never thought I could do that. I fucking kissed my former professor! Sinong nasa tamang pag-iisip ang gagawa noon? Sinong matinong lasing ang gagawa noon?

Ikaw lang, Willow.

For the hundredth time, I pulled my hair and wished that I could pull out that memory as well. Wala na talaga akong mukhang maihaharap sa kanya!

"Ano na namang iniisip mo?"

Napatingin ako sa aking tabi. That was when I realized once again that I wasn't alone. Acaimie, Bredant, and Ate Mira were looking at me with varying expressions. Tumikhim ako saka marahang inayos ang sarili.

"W-wala," I lied.

"Wala, my ass," Acaimie whispered, obviously not buying my lame response.

Hindi na ako umimik. Of course, I didn't want them to dig deeper. Hindi ko rin naman alam kung paano ipaliliwanag ang sitwasyon.

It had been months since that happened. Kapag naaalala ko, parang kahapon lang nangyari. I still felt everything on my skin. My lying lips . . .

From then on, I became extra careful whenever I would walk down the hallway of our school. Oo, nagkikita pa naman kami lalo na't napapadalas na sila ni Tita Agnes sa amin. But whenever he would pay a visit, I would always make sure our eyes wouldn't meet. If not, nagkukulong ako sa kuwarto.

Hiyang-hiya ako, buwisit. Lalo na kapag natatagpuan ko siyang titig na titig sa akin na tila tinutudyo akong ibalik iyon sa kanya. What could he be thinking of me? Damn.

Oo, gusto ko siya. Yes, I wanted him to know somehow. Pero hindi naman sa ganoong paraan!

"Gusto ko sa PAO. Recommended training ground. Lahat ng kaso nando'n. Hindi ka makakapamili."

"Ay, oo. Pero mas gusto ko sa law firm. Ayoko sa public."

"Sa opisina ng mga public prosecutor ako."

Narito kami sa bahay ni Ate Mira at nag-aaral para sa finals. Next week na iyon. It was almost one a.m. and we took a ten-minute break. Dahil inaantok na talaga ako ay iniinom ko na ang pangalawang baso ko ng kape.

Kasalukuyan silang nagdidiskusyon tungkol sa nalalapit naming internship. Isa rin iyong problema ko. I remembered my parents asking Prosec. Calleja to make me his intern. I wondered if he would still do it after what happened between us.

Why was I that stupid?

"First-time drug use offenders are sent to rehabilitation, 'di ba? If they display remorse and willingness to change, puwede sila ibalik sa komunidad. Unless they commit another crime."

"Drug crimes are the worst!"

"Hindi naman bago 'yang concept na voluntary surrender.""

Sana matapos na lahat ng ito.

Law school kept on trying to break my spine — pulverized even. Gustong-gusto ko nang magbakasyon at magpahinga. I wanted to be human again.

Our review went on. Maliban sa paminsan-minsang paglilinaw sa nabasa o pag-alala sa mga nabasang kaso, we were silent most of the time. It was almost four thirty a.m. when we decided to sleep. Pagkasayad na pagkasayad pa lamang ng likod ko sa kama, nakatulog ako agad. We woke up by eight thirty a.m., ready to review again.

"Ano? Break na kayo ni Nayeli?" hindi makapaniwalang bulalas ko, hindi alintana ang bula sa bunganga mula sa pagsesepilyo.

Bredant gave me a weak smile. "Akala ko sinabi na niya sa'yo."