Chapter 3

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* WARNING* This chapter uses the song "Never Be the Same" by Camila Cabello and is in no way mine. Along with that, this chapter has self harm in it.

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Once on the rooftop of the studio, I walk to the edge of it and dangled my legs over it. I admired the view of LA at night. Nate and I used to always sneak up to our roof at our old house, it was something we did every night. We loved going up at night and writing songs there because it was the one time during the day that we felt at peace. At night, there is only silence and it's the time that we can finally be in tune with ourselves without everyone bothering us. Even now that he's gone, I still do our  thing. It's one of the few things I feel closer to him.

Tears formed in my eyes and began to streak down my face as I leaned back to gaze at the stars. Why did Alex, Reggie, and Luke just suddenly appear in our lives? I couldn't help but think that it wasn't fair to me that they get to come back and not my family. Do they just not want to see me? The mere thought that they all just forgot about me or don't care to see how I'm doing rips the already open wounds, even further.

I just wanted the pain to just stop already. It's gonna be three months officially tomorrow since they died and I can't seem to move past them. Everyone always says that it'll get better, but what if it doesn't. I'm left alone. Completely utterly alone. My parents gone in a blink of an eye. My brother gone because he wanted to protect me. Now, my grandma is on the verge of dying. In the matter of just three months my life has drastically changed and it has left me a broken mess.

"Why? Why can't you just show me you're there," I cried out with burning tears spilling down my cheek, "I can't keep doing this guys."

I reached into the side of my sock to pull out the knife, that I took from the kitchen before coming up, and stared at it with a blank expression. The sharp object glimmered in the moonlight as I brought it down to my wrist. I grimaced as the tip cut down my wrist, but the pain only lasted a second.

"Hey."

I turned, covering my blood streaked wrist, to see a smiling Alex. His smile soon faltered as he saw the blood staining my white shirt. "W-what are you doing Nova," he rushed to my side and tried to grab my bloody and scarred wrists from my chest but failed as it just went through my body. "Why are you doing this Nov?"

I pulled my eyes away from him and looked at the view ahead, "I just wanted to feel something for once. I wanted to fe-"

"There you are Alex," Reggie appeared along with a dashing Luke, "Oh. Hey Nova."

Luke pushed past Reggie when he saw my face wet with tears and sat on the other side of me, with Reggie sitting next to Alex.

When Luke looked down at my wrist that I held in my hand, his reaction made me feel broken on the inside. It hurt me in ways that I couldn't possibly explain. "What happened? Why did y-" he paused when an idea came to his mind, "Your family. That's why you did it. And it's not your first time cutting either. Is it?"

I shook my head at him, "I've been doing it since they died three months ago." I looked down at the multiple white markings that patterned my skin now, with an angry one on my left.

"If you don't mind me asking," I brought my eyes to meet Luke's, "What happened to them?"

A heavy sigh escaped through my lips as I pulled my legs to my chest, "My parents and twin brother were killed in a car crash. I was the only one that survived. Parents died seconds after the car hit us, my brother d-died," my voice broke as I brought my hands to cover my face. Wiping the tears away, "He died because he used his body to protect me. Nate died on the way to the hospital."

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