Our Little Secret ➳ Camila Cabello

twenty

"Jesus Christ, y/n. You scared me." Ally said breathing heavily.
My eyebrows raised, "What are you doing with those pills, Alls?"
The short Latina chuckled pushing her thick, blonde dyed hair out of her face, "These aren't mine, baby."
I used the crutches to accelerate myself closer to her so I could sit on the stool by the island, "If they aren't yours, then who's are they?"
She was growing irritated of her hair in her face, so she quickly out her hair up in a sloppy pony tail. "They are yours."
"I don't take pills, Ally."
"You do now." She said grabbing a cup from the cabinet to fill it with water from the tap and set it in front of me. She picked up a smaller bottle of pills first, "These are your pain pills from the surgery. Percocet I believe. You're supposed to take 2 doses every 6 hours for 4 weeks."
My eyes shot open, "Four fucking weeks? I'm going to be in that much pain?"
"They basically cut into your flesh to place a metal bar into your side to support your rib cage. I'm sure you'll be in pain for a while, y/n." Ally laughed setting one pill in front of me. I refused to take it until I was finished with this conversation.
I scratched my head lightly, "About that. How am I going to get through the metal detector at the airport with a giant piece of steel implanted inside of me? I'm basically fucking iron man now."
She smiled, "We got it covered. No worries." She picked up the medium sized bottle of pills, "These are Ambiens, your sleeping pills. The doctor said the pain pills will not be enough to help you stop being in pain when going to sleep. This will just be a boost."
She sat another pill in front of me, and I cheered, "Yay! I can now be doped up without being drugged at a high school party."
I guess it was too soon for that joke because Ally's face was completely serious, "That's not funny at all, y/n." I rolled my eyes at her glare. Ally picked up the last bottle of pills, the biggest bottle. "And these are your anti-depressants. Zoloft to be precise. When you run out, call me and I'll get another prescription for you."
I grabbed the big bottle to see the pills which were pretty huge compared to the others. "Quick question, Allycat." She leaned on the counter to listen to me. "What happens after four weeks when Mila still sees me taking pills? I can't tell her about this. She will worry worse than you're doing right now."
Ally sat on the stool next to me, and looked deep into my eyes. "I'm gonna tell you something and I want you to keep it between us. Okay?" I nodded listening contently. "You know how people call me sunshine, including you, because I'm always so happy and free?" I nodded again trying to see where she was going with this. "I struggle with depression, too." I was so shocked. Of all people, the last one I would've expected to be depressed would be Ally. She's always so outgoing and always has this huge smile on her face. I gasped loudly. "I know, I know." She continued with that beautiful smile plastered on her face. "I'm really happy on the inside, but sometimes the industry stresses me out so much by not allowing me to be myself and respect my boundaries that I can't help it. Depression runs in my family, but I never thought I'd have it. Until one day, my father attempted something..." Her voice was caught for a second, "Something similar to what you did. It was because I upset him to the point that he couldn't take it anymore." Ally placed her hand on my arm to keep herself from breaking down. "We almost lost him and it was my fault. I never forgave myself and it grew until I began to feel these terrible feelings. So, I was prescribed these and they help me get out of bed every morning."
"Ally, you didn't have to tell me this if you didn't want to. I can tell its a really hard topic for you." I admitted wrapping her in my arms and laying my head on her back.
She sniffled before letting out a small giggle, "Do you wanna know why I told you this, y/n?" I nodded. "Look at me, then." I pulled away to be face to face with the tan girl. "I wanted to tell you this to encourage you to at least try them. These pills aren't to make you happy, they are to help build you up to be able to do things. Take it from me, your own personal sunshine."
"What if Mila finds out?" I ask as I grab the two pills she put in front of me and hold them in my palm.
She sighed, "Just tell her the truth. She deserves it."
Ally playfully hit my arm and started walking towards the living room, "Don't take the last one yet though. Wait till the morning."
I nodded putting the pills in my mouth and swallowing them with a small around of water. One of them was extremely bitter and made me feel sort of sick. I drank the rest of the water in the tall glass cup and say it in the sink. Then I took the pill bottles and set them in the back of the cabinet in the bottom of the island. I didn't want anyone to see them, even if they were prescribed to me for my own good. I don't like people seeing me struggle.