Our Little Secret ➳ Camila Cabello

twenty-two

"Hello? Y/N?" My uncle said hearing my deep breathing through the phone but I couldn't talk.
I finally was able to control myself and speak, "Come get me. Please."
His voice was strained, "Where are you?"
"Mila and I broke up at the carnival. I need you to bring my pain pills and meet me at the front. I can barely move." I admitted feeling the seething pain rush over me again.
He sighed, "I'm sorry, I'm not going to bring pain pills for your breakup but I'll pick you up right now."
"Please bring them. I can barely move without feeling my skin being ripped apart." I begged.
"Okay, well let me put this stuff on hold and I'll be down there in a while. I'm over at the office so it'll take me a little longer to get there." He admitted. I nodded hanging up the phone and sitting against a wall. I straightened my back so my side wouldn't feel so bad being slumped over. I heard someone's feet crunch the gravel, but I had no energy to hide. I just sat there to wait for the confrontation.
It was Lauren. Her emerald eyes met mine as she saw me. "There you are, y/n. We are all looking for you."
I shrugged, "You found me. Now you can go."
"Don't be like that to me. I tried to defend you." Lauren said sitting down in front of me. She looked at her fingers then back at me, "Mila didn't mean it, Ya know? Once you left she noticed what you said and started freaking out."
I nodded, "Good for her."
"You don't mean that. You love her." Lauren whispered.
"I know I do, but she can't just say that stuff and expect me to just believe that she isn't happy. You saw the way she reacted. She moved away from me like I disgusted her." I admitted trying to keep myself from crying.
"I'll be the first to say that Camila needs to learn to think before she speaks, but that's what you love about her. That's what we all love about her." Lauren was staring into my eyes. I felt this weird presence when I was around Lauren. It was a safe and sound feeling. Lauren fiddled with her thumbs nervously as she pushed her dark locks out of her face. "I've been meaning to talk to you about that night of the wedding, while we are alone."
"Lauren, it's okay. You don't have to-"
"But I do, y/n. You know I think of you as one of my best friends and stuff, right?" I nodded as she continued. "And we were fucked up to Camila that night." I looked down at my feet trying my best not to feel worse about that mistake. "But I have to tell you something and get this off my chest in the off chance that it ruins our friendship."
I sent her a friendly smile, "Nothing could do that, Lolo."
She smirked, "I like you. Not just as a friend but as more than that. After we met the first time I knew you were Mila's but I couldn't shake the feelings I had about you, and obviously about her at times." I wasn't blind to the way Camila and Lauren acted. They did like each other. They went through things when Camila and I had troubles that extended further than a friendship. "But I didn't realize it until that night in the gazebo when I blindly acted on my feelings. I just want to know if you've ever felt the same, or still do."
I sighed setting my phone beside me, "Yeah, Lo."
"Which one?"
"Both. But I've been with Camila so long that if I was to ever actually cut off the soul ties between her and I, there's no way we could be together."
"And why not?" Her eyebrow raised.
"You know why. I'd rather be heartbroken over a million Camilas than have this group break up over a disagreement." I admitted feeling my heart hurt at the truth.
Lauren's smile quickly faded, "I understand." She breathed out finishing her conversation, "I just needed to know how you feel. But since I know now... You need to go talk to Camila."
I rolled my eyes, "First of all, I can't get up. Second of all, I'm not going to go crawling back to her. She needs to come talk to me."
Lauren rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone to text someone. I'm guessing Mila.
It wasn't long until I heard more gravel crunching in the distance and a figure stood at the corner of the wall. The figure's body language made her look wrecked and restless. Lauren half smiled and got up to brush her pants off, "I'll leave you two alone." She walked away as Camila walked up looking extremely broken.
Camila was shaking and couldn't control her breathing. I tried to not make eye contact knowing that I would break down looking into her big brown eyes. "I didn't mean to get so upset, babe."
"Don't call me that, we aren't dating." I retorted trying to get the catch out of my throat.
"Don't say that, please. I don't want to break up. I have never wanted to." She said with heavy breath pushing her chest in and out. Camila crouched down in front of me and grabbed my hand but I stayed limp in her touch, "I'll do anything to take it back. To take you back. I was just so upset, you have to believe me."
"You had no reason to be upset!"
"No reason? I could've lost you and I didn't even know it. Do you know how that felt? I could've found your lifeless body in Ally's tub." Her nose was red and her words were sincere.
"I know, but this is what I was avoiding."
"You were avoiding me showing how much I care and need you?" She was confused.
"I was avoiding a lecture, Camila. I was avoiding a confrontation. I was avoiding a break up." I was beginning to feel more and more pain which made me even more emotional.
She sniffled and wiped off her cheek, "I don't want to break up. I want to be with you and make you happier than these pills will. I want you to be honest with me. Can't I just have another chance? Please." She was crumbling to pieces and I couldn't stand to see it. I have no reason to be mad anymore. I have no reason to shut her out and leave her. She's begging for my love now. All I have left is her.
I felt a uncontrollable tear start to fall and I quickly wiped it, "Fine. You get another chance."
She got closer and pulled me in a hug and I felt my side strain a little. "I'll make you so happy, I swear. You won't regret it."
I had a feeling it wouldn't be Mila's choice. I had to be happy on my own.