the next holders//mlb fanfiction

15//a new akuma

The next day, around 9 PM, Ladybug and Lady Noire meet each other again on a random rooftop. Both of them feel the need to tell each other about the day before, without revealing too much about their personal life of course.

"How are you feeling today, little kitten?" Ladybug asks, as she runs her hand through Lady Noire's hair. Ladybug came up with that nickname the third time they met each other. Lady Noire was complaining about the disadvantages of being 5 foot 1.

"I'm good, I guess." Lady Noir responds, pausing a few seconds before explaining "I think I made another friend."

Ladybug seems to have forgotten what she wanted to say and starts to talk about Lady Noire's new friend.

"That's amazing, I'm really happy for you. What kind of friend are they?"

"She's really nice, actually. You know I can't say much more than that."

They continue to talk for a bit, but not about Lady Noire's new friend. Sometimes, they're disappointed by the fact that they have to keep secrets from each other. The worst part is that neither of them understands why it's not allowed.

The next day is a school day again. El is nervous for some reason, she even tied her shoelaces three times to make sure she didn't sit still with her thoughts alone. She keeps walking across the room until it's time for her to leave, yet she forgot to eat breakfast because of that. She keeps telling herself she's being nervous for no specific reason, but deep down she knows she's scared Autumn will take back her offer to be friends again.

When she arrives at school, she can see Autumn hanging out with a few of her friends, like she always does. This time, El walks past them as if they're not there, she doesn't interfere with their conversation to annoy Autumn.

El walks up to her locker, places her skateboard, jacket and some books she doesn't need yet in it. When she's about to leave, she gets scared by Autumn who's standing next to her.

"Oh- hi." El says, feeling madly awkward for some reason.

"Hi, do you want to walk to class with me?" Autumn asks, she's stuttering a bit.

"Class won't start for another fifteen minutes, and weren't you with your friends a minute ago?" El points out.

"Yes I was, but I thought that we could maybe talk before class starts." Autumn says, El keeps quiet. Does she really want to? What if Autumn says she won't forgive her? What they have now, whatever it is, would be better.

El can feel something in her bag move, which wakes her up from her thoughts. It must be Plagg trying to tell her to go with Autumn.

"Sure."

El and Autumn sit down on a bench outside the school. El feels uncomfortable, Roux and Catherine are standing near them, just out of reach to hear what they're talking about. They're probably there for Autumn's sake, but it still creeps El out.

"I've been thinking a lot about Saturday." Autumn starts, but she isn't sure how to continue. What exactly did she think about all weekend? Her mind is still a complete mess.

"Me too." El says, it's again followed by an awkward silence.

"You go first." Autumn says.

"No, you." El denies.

Another silence. Neither of them has the courage to look at the other.

"I guess I've been thinking too much that I don't know what to think anymore." Autumn sighs and adds "If that makes sense."

"It does. Me too."

The silence becomes more silent. It's like it's just the two of them, sitting in a small cube without any people or a distracting sound near.

"So. What did you think about?" Autumn asks, she doesn't feel comfortable starting first. What if she overthought everything?

"I don't know. Nothing. Everything. I kept thinking how you could've forgiven me that easily." I wished you'd be more angry with me. She didn't say that last part.

"I could never be angry at you, you didn't do anything wrong." Autumn explains.

But I did, I did everything wrong. I was drowned in my pain so I pretended to hate you instead of showing my feelings. "Why?" is the only thing El manages to say. She shuts her mouth and holds back her tears, she doesn't want to cry, she can't.

"I left you. I never contacted you in those three years. That was me, all me. I hurt you." Autumn explains, she somehow managed to remain calm and explain her feelings all this time.

"I don't get it! Why do you keep blaming yourself? I ignored you, I-" tears are streaming down her face, she needs to wipe them away, but they keep coming.

"I-" she doesn't know how to continue, but she knows she should say something.

"I-" no words again, she doesn't understand her feelings, she doesn't understand anything, she's as clueless and dumb as ever.

"I-" why is she even mad? Autumn forgave her, she should be happy. But she isn't, she hates the fact that Autumn blames herself while it's not her fault.

"It's all my fault. All my fault. You're perfect, you've always been perfect. There's a reason why I haven't been adopted yet, no one wants me. I wouldn't even want myself if I were them. I'm just messed up. You wouldn't blame yourself if I didn't exist, I'm sorry." El breaks down, hands covering her face to prevent the tears from showing. She wants to get out of here, she wants to run away to a place where no one knows her.

Autumn sits paralysed, totally unsure what it is she needs to do. When she's about to rest her hand on El's shoulder to try and calm her down, an akuma lands on El's beanie. Autumn doesn't move an inch anymore. As Autumn, she should stay by El's side. But as Ladybug, she should transform as soon as possible.

"Please fight it. I know you can, you're so strong, you're amazing, you're my friend, please fight it." Autumn tries desperately "I love you."

El can't hear Autumn, all sounds are blocked out, she can only hear the voice of Hawk Moth saying she should accept the akuma.

"Hello, I am Hawkmoth. You're struggling with your own thoughts and no one understands. I will give you the power to make others feel the way you do."

While El is trying to fight the akuma, Roux and Catherine get Autumn out of there, Autumn can't bring herself to leave.

"You'll never feel misunderstood again."

Plagg comes flying out of El's backpack, takes the ring off of her hand and makes his way to Adrien and Marinette's house, they're the only ones he can turn to in a situation like this.

"I will help you because I understand how you feel."

El tries her best to fight the akuma, her hands covering her ears, trying to shut HawkMoth's voice out, but it's no use. 

"I promise you, and I never tell lies."