the next holders//mlb fanfiction

26//change

"How are you?"

"I'm fine." Autumn responds quickly, it's too quick for El to believe it's sincere.

"If you don't want to tell me, I'll go first." El says. She might not be ready to tell what's on her mind, especially since she doesn't understand herself. But she knows she'll never be fully ready to talk about her feelings. "I'm feeling kind of shitty right now, my life is a complete mess." El looks down at her feet, she doesn't want to look Autumn in her eyes right now. "When you kissed me, I didn't know what to say or do. I had no idea how to handle something like that," she takes a short break, how is she supposed to put her feelings to words? "I still don't, to be honest." Another pause, talking about her feelings like this is harder than she expected it would be. "I guess I ran away because I didn't want to deal with that confusion, because I'm not sure how I feel about you." She knows that sounds harsh, she should try something else, what would Ladybug say in a situation like this? "I'm not sure if I love you, the only thing I'm sure about right now is that I really, really want to stay your friend."

After saying all that, El feels kind of relieved. She starts tearing up, but wipes the tears away. She isn't sure why she's crying, there's no reason to start crying now, she hates crying, especially if it's in front of other people.

Through her watery eyes, El looks up to Autumn, who is surprisingly crying too. Autumn isn't trying to hide it, though.

"Thank you." Autumn says, smiling through her tears, she isn't crying because she's sad, she's happy.

"Do you want to be honest with me now or do you want to keep lying for a while, I'm fine with either." El asks, making Autumn giggle a bit.

"I guess I should spill what's on my mind and get this over with." Autumn starts, even though she feels like El already knows most of it. "I've had feelings for you since, I'm not even sure, forever. Since I understood what feelings were." Autumn pauses, rethinking if she should just confess all of this at once, she doesn't want to make El mad again. "I misread some signals and thought you might have feelings for me, too." Another pause, she isn't sure how to continue, but she doesn't dare to take her eyes off of El. "You'd probably understand why I felt a bit sad after you ran away, I didn't know what was going on in your mind after all." Autumn stops talking, she tries continuing a few times, but ends up at a loss of words every time.

"Do you want a hug?" El asks, it's almost scary how much she's changed in the past few weeks, the El from last month wouldn't ask someone if they need a hug for her life. It's almost like the roles are reversed now.

Autumn doesn't respond to the question, which makes it even more clear to El that the answer is yes. She spreads her arms, indicating that she's fine with it, but Autumn doesn't engage, scared she'll make things awkward again.

"I didn't open my arms for nothing, so you're going to hug me right now." El tells Autumn and even though she sounds bossy, it's all Autumn needed to hear to hug El back.

"And don't you dare make things awkward again, I'm fine with how things are now and I don't want it to go downhill again." El whispers, making Autumn blush as well as smile.

"Me neither." She responds, hugging El even tighter.

***

A week passed and things haven't changed much. Luckily, Autumn's and El's friendship didn't become awkward. As for Ladybug and Lady Noire, they finally talked about their kiss, too, but since Ladybug wasn't mad to begin with, things didn't change at all.

It's Tuesday now and Autumn is disappointed to hear that El isn't coming to school today. When she asked her teachers for the reason, they said they didn't know. Autumn has texted El already, too, but El hasn't even read the message yet. Autumn is starting to feel a bit uneasy about the situation and decides she should stop by the orphanage after school.

The day goes by slower than usual, but that could just be a feeling. Autumn feels herself getting more nervous with every minute that passes, she regularly checks the time but the seconds don't pass quicker. Every minute, she manages to check her phone, but El still hasn't read the messages. Autumn sends her another text, asking her if she's okay, but that message doesn't get opened either.

Eventually, the school day is finished and Autumn leaves for the orphanage right away.

It doesn't take long until she arrives, and once she does, she finds her way to Miss Blanchard's office. She knocks on the door and after waiting a short minute, Miss Blanchard opens it.

"Autumn?" She says, surprised by this sudden visit.

"I'm sorry to bother you, I was only wondering if El is okay."

"El is fine. In fact, she could arrive any minute now. You can wait for her in the common room if you'd like." Miss Blanchard says, Autumn smiles and thanks her, leaving for the common room immediately.

Autumn has been waiting patiently for about fifteen minutes when El and some older woman, probably around the age of 30, walk in. El spots Autumn and gives her a questioning look, Autumn returns the questioning look and El mouths that they'll talk later.

Miss Blanchard walks up to El and the woman, they talk for a few minutes and then the woman follows Miss Blanchard to her office while El walks towards Autumn.

"What's been going on all day? No one could tell me where you were and you didn't respond to my texts, I was worried." Autumn says, not giving El a moment to speak.

El starts to smile. In fact, she's been wearing a rather happy expression ever since she arrived at the orphanage. "You don't have to worry about me, I'm fine. I just didn't check my phone and no one except Miss Blanchard, me and that woman you saw before knew where I was." El says.

"That doesn't explain a single thing, though." Autumn says, raising an eyebrow.

El starts smiling, it's oddly weird to see El in such a cheerful mood.

"To put it short and simple: that woman you saw before, she wants to adopt me."