The Turquoise Cure (Eren X Reader)

Chapter 49: An Endless Sea

    -several months after the chapter 48 of this story-

    Time passed, as time does. Your skin tanned with the hours spent outside in the sun for expeditions, your muscles tearing and burning with every new adventure to discover the new world. Your eyes grew more tired as the days wore in, each one more painstaking than the last. But with all of the changes, your feelings for Eren remained constant. You would comfort him in the room you shared when he saw things he didn't want to see, when he relived a moment that was too painful to go through more than once. You were his rock. As for being your rock, he assured you that he would never do anything to hurt you, that he loved you so much. You believed him, you knew he was telling the truth, but it didn't stop you from seeing everything, from knowing everything that was to come with no way to stop it. You hated talking about what you saw, but you had to sometimes, you had to use your knowledge for the betterment of Paradis. But there was only one person you'd let yourself go to for that...

    "Hange," you said, saluting as you entered her office. A lot had changed here in the past many months since she had become commander of the Survey Corps. Nearly a year had passed, and her desk was so chock full of paperwork, files on incoming cadets, members of the corps., and not to mention her dozens of ongoing experiments that she had had to put on hold for lack of time. "Yes?" she asked, dragging her tired eye from the long paper that she had been scrawling words on with a pen. 

    Not a new occurrence, you sat down in the chair directly in front of hers. Saying nothing, you fiddled with your scarred and degraded nails. Hange sensed your unease. "Are you excited for the mission tomorrow?" she asked, gently placing her pen down so as not to get ink all over her slew of other papers. Her restraint and grace had improved vastly since her "promotion," much to your disappointment; you'd always miss the real Hange. "Mhm," you said, raking your eyes up to her face. Her dark hair was unkempt in every way, and her skin looked sweaty and tired from the wearing heat in the room. The sun shone a ghastly shadow as it descended below her window line. "So," Hange said, placing her head on her elbows atop her papers. 

    "So I've been thinking," you said at last. "I assumed," Hange retorted, offering you a small smile. "Maybe we shouldn't go," you said, the words finally spilling over your lips. "Why not?" she asked, a look of disappointment cascading over her face. "It's just-" you struggled to form the words, "I feel like Eren started to act different at this point in my premonitions. Us seeing the ocean for the first time was the first premonition I saw, right, so wouldn't it be significant?" Hange pursed her lips, her thumb suspended over her chin in concentration. "Hm," she hummed aloud, "I just don't know if anything we do will affect what you see, (Y/N), so it might be time to stop trying to change every little thing." 

    You took in her words, digesting them. It was true that every time you tried to do something to prevent what you saw from happening, it seemed to happen anyway. No matter what you did in the experiments with Hange, what you saw always happened, with a chance for error of 0%. "Well, maybe this time is different," you whispered, your breath almost inaudible. Hange extended her hand across the desk towards you in consolidation. You took her warm, slick hand from how many hours she had been writing and held it in your shaky, cold one. "I know you love Eren," she said, her voice soft, "we all do, but maybe this is just what's supposed to happen." "Is anything supposed to happen?" you said, your eyes stinging. "Who gets to decide what happens and what doesn't?" you said, staring at Hange with your burning eyes. "(Y/N)," Hange said as you broke down, unable to look away from her but wishing you could. "Are you thinking about how I'm going to die?" she asked bluntly. Your shoulders shook as you sobbed, the tears wracking your body. "Stop it," she said, her smile small and filled with pain. You just broke down even harder as she walked over to you, embracing you in her strong arms. "You can't let yourself do this, (Y/N)," she whispered into your ear. You nodded, clinging to her arms, not wanting to let go. These days, you felt like you were always like this, trying to keep it together and then breaking down when you realized that everyone around you had a timer above their heads, and every second, it was winding down...