The Turquoise Cure (Eren X Reader)

Chapter 54: Traitor

        The past few days had been hell, to say the least. You hadn't visited Eren in his cell ever since the first time you went. You had barely been able to sleep, always waking rapidly and sweating anxiously. Every time you thought you would understand him, you remembered what he had said: that he had manipulated time to undo all of your efforts to protect your friends. 

    "That bastard," you mumbled as you pulled on your boots. You had received news that he had escaped in the middle of the previous night, presumably to meet up with the Yeagerists, led by Floch, another bastard. The kids from Marley, Gabi and Falco, had also escaped several days earlier. You remembered painfully how you had lashed out at Zachary: "Do you need to have your ass wiped for you twenty-four FUCKING seven?" you had screamed, your sleepless nights making your eyes swollen and puffy. You regretted your words now, as those were the last things you had ever said to Zachary, who was killed by a bomb in his office just this morning. 

    You cinched your eyebrows with your fingers, desperate to relieve the stress, but it simply wouldn't melt away like that. You ignored the mirror by the door to your dorm, leaving with a swish of your cloak and a slightly too-heavy slamming of the heavy door. You weren't too worried about waking up a roommate: Mikasa had been staying with Armin since you'd gotten back from Marley. You wished that you could help her feel better, but you genuinely couldn't even handle yourself right now, let alone her. 

    Hitch had stayed over in your dorm a few times in the past week. She thought that maybe it would help you sleep: it didn't, but you couldn't bring yourself to tell her that. 

    You inhaled deeply as you reached the meeting room. There were much fewer people here now than there had originally been. About one hundred members of the Survey Corps. had deflected, encouraged by Floch, to help Eren. You took advantage of the newly freed up space as you leaned against the beige wall across the room from Jean and Connie, who looked as numb as they had ever since Sasha had died. 

    "You're late," you heard Mikasa mumble as she moved over next to you. "I'm not," you said, glancing towards the clock mounted on the wall above Hange's desk. "For you, you are," she said, not looking into your eyes. "Why won't you look at me?" you asked, standing up straight at once. "What?" Mikasa asked, slightly taken aback. Armin was approaching now at hearing the slight increase in volume. "You haven't really looked at me in a while," you said, looking upward to see Mikasa more clearly. "I- I look at you all the time," Mikasa said, her lis pursing in a way that said she knew she was lying. In a feeble attempt to corroborate her story, she shot a quick glance to your forehead, then looked to the side once more. 

    "It's just," she said, her voice dropping even more if that was even possible. "He had to have gotten out somehow." "Excuse me," you said, your voice lethal. You turned and saw Connie and Jean approaching. "Weren't you the last person to visit Eren other than the guards?" Jean asked, his eyes colder than they usually were. "So that's what it is?" you asked, giggling in an almost nauseatingly sweet tone. "So you guys think I helped Eren get out- that I'm a deflector- that I'm a fucking liar-" "Please, don't say it like that," Armin said, putting his hands up, his cheeks slightly flushed. "How the fuck else am I supposed to take it?" you said, squinting in indignation. 

    The remainder of the room was starting to take notice. As much as it pained you to be the annoying center of attention, you were on your last tether. "Look, okay, we get it, it wasn't you," Jean said, putting his hands up as well and backing away to his corner of the room again. You scoffed, glaring at the rest of the semicircle around you. Mikasa was fiddling with the edges of her scarf, her eyes anxiously batting; Armin was biting his bottom lip, toying with his thumbs; and Connie was solemnly following Jean back to the corner of the room, nothing he thought wanted to be said aloud. 

    "Ahem," Hange said, making eye contact with you as they cleared their throat. "So, it's obvious that there is some tension here." You exhaled, desperate to decompress the anger and betrayal burning in your chest before you exploded. You tried to concentrate, but nothing that Hange said penetrated your mind- your thoughts were too busy swimming. It hadn't even been a thought that anyone would think you'd helped Eren, although you couldn't lie and say that you had never considered it, that on a deep, subconscious level, you had been happy that he had escaped... 

    "(Y/N)," Hange said. It was only then that you realized that the room around you had emptied completely, you being the last one remaining. "Do you think I helped Eren escape?" you asked, cutting the introductory speech and formalities. Hange cleared their throat, pulling their eye to a corner of the room, away from you. You scornfully smiled, the last tether you had held onto slipping away between your fingertips. "I, myself, don't think that you did..." The unintended 'but' of that sentence hung in the air between the two of you. "But everyone else does," you said, looking up into Hange's fringe. "Everyone is really overwhelmed right now," they responded, "and there's no way to prove who did it anyway," Hange said, reaching out to clutch your forearm. You allowed the touch, swallowing as you accepted the comfort. "Thank you, Commander," you said, before turning to leave through the open door. 

    "And one more thing," Hange said as you nearly turned the corner that led to your dorm. "Yeah?" you asked, raising an eyebrow towards the commander. "If ever I can prove you innocent, I ask that you head to Zeke's location immediately." "I don't know what you-" you began, but Hange interrupted. "Call it commander's intuition, but I don't feel all that comfortable with Levi being left to his own devices with someone like Zeke." You paused, considering what they had said. "So you think Levi would kill Zeke before anyone could inherit the Beast Titan from him?" "Oh, no," Hange rushed, "that's not what I meant at all! It's just- Zeke- you never really know where his loyalties lie, you know?" they said, quirking their head slightly to the side. Like everyone thinks of me now. "Gotcha," you said, finally turning the corner and leaving. 

Author's Note: 

sorry for such short chapters lately: I'm trying to figure out where I want to go with the remainder of the series lol