The Turquoise Cure (Eren X Reader)

Chapter 30: Scream (part 1)

    The wall was in utter chaos; with Hange unconscious and showing no sign of waking up soon, nobody knew what was expected to do. Moblit was the next in charge, but he was only marginally better than Hange; at least he had stopped drooling. Mikasa had still not stirred either; you kept catching Armin shooting furtive looks over to where her body lay, limper and more still than you had ever seen it. He had gingerly wrapped the maroon scarf that she cherished so much around her head as a sort of pillow/wrap, but you were sure that whatever damage was done wouldn't be assuaged by such a small help. 

    As for yourself, you had busied yourself with helping tend to the seemingly infinite injuries swamped all around you. Burns, cuts inches deep, rocks ingrained in people's skin, people clutching empty eye sockets... It was all reminiscent of your time on Plantation 9 when you had briefly served as a hand to the doctors. You were a little rusty, but the wounds all around you were pouring and leaking, and there was nobody fit to take care of them but you and Armin. Although squeamish at first, Armin proved to be a natural at stitches; it had only taken him a short amount of tries on a severed arm that he had gotten the gist. 

    Keeping busy was the only way that you could distract yourself. Every time you felt your mind slipping back to Reiner's retreating form, Eren dangling limply from his back, your stomach churned. Anything that could distract you... anything at all...

    A distraction in the form of Erwin Smith came all too quickly. Hours had passed since Eren had been taken, but it all felt like seconds as the people milled around you, you engrossed in your unclean sutures and your pressurizing wounds so that your mind was completely on autopilot. You jumped up so abruptly when you saw him, however, that your needles fell to the dirty wall with a clang, and Armin only then turned to see what had happened. 

    Erwin surveyed the scene in such a passive and unseeing way that you almost wondered if he was seeing everything. His face was unchanging, his eyes as steely blue and brows as furrowed as always. He looked up from where he had been staring at the bank of bedridden soldiers, Mikasa and Hange included, to look at you. You stood up at this address, pushing yourself to do a half-hearted salute, but your heart being far from it. "(L/N)?" he asked. His voice too was not indicative of the scene before you; it was steady and deep as always, like a whisper or a mumble. "Yes, Commander," you responded, craning to see into his eyes. "I received word of what unfolded here," he began, not needing to gesture to the surroundings, "and, that said, I heard about Eren's disappearance." There it was. That burning feeling of guilt that burnt your throat as if someone had placed a hot tea kettle to it. You swallowed, your throat dry and caked in the dust and dirt from the rubble. "I'm sorry, sir," you said, your voice betraying you; it was quieted as though muffled by a bubble of darkness all around you, "it's all my-" "ERWIN!" Hange screamed, retching and choking as she spat the words. Erwin slowly walked away, leaving you behind. You clenched your fists in frustration as it hit you- nobody was going after Eren. Why would they? Nobody knows where he is, nobody knows where he's going, and we don't even have a way to get outside of the walls. 

    You were getting ready to go back to suturing- there was still a long line- when you heard Hange say something that made you lose all thought. "-so how are we going to get him?" "You're going after him?" you asked, striding over to where she lay. She appeared to be trying to get up, but Armin was now restraining her and forcing water down her throat as she choked on the dryness of the air. "Blech!- oh leave me alone, will you!- yes, of course we're going after Eren," Hange gasped. "But how?" you asked, feeling stupid and left in the dark. "I was going to tell you that I brought reinforcements," Erwin said, now turning to look up at you. It was the first, and likely the last time, that he would ever have to look up to address you, "I have some teams right behind me, and we need help getting the horses over the wall so we can set out before nightfall." You stared at him dumbfounded. "And we're standing here because??" you asked, a smile beginning to etch its way onto your face. "You might want to show more respect to your commander," a snide voice sounded from behind you. "Jean!" you shouted, your smile now confirming itself. Erwin chuckled, "compared to Levi, she's a treat."