The Unseen

Chapter 15 - By the Moonlight

The night is quiet and still, moonlight flooding the garden with a beautiful glow. Vader stands in the garden like a monolith, only his respirator giving any indication that he's alive. The peaceful tranquility all around him scarcely soothes the turmoil in his heart and soul. Obi-Wan is gone, having left hours prior to go retrieve Luke from Tatooine. Truthfully, Vader doesn't even know why he's going along with it. He shouldn't have because he's – he's not a good person. He won't be a good father either, so it would be better if they never know him.

He wishes he could breathe in the fresh air and feel the breeze blowing across his face like he could in his paradise. If the surgeries go well, he might be able to again, but it won't be the same. Even if he can escape his life support suit, he won't be able to live. He doesn't want to live. It's become utterly pointless, and the loathing for himself, for his life, for his actions is burrowed so deeply into himself that he tries to shy away from that train of thought lest it overwhelm him the way it did earlier.

He deserves the worst possible pain and more... but he still wants to escape. He – he wants Padme. When he was there in his reality, she was there, and he was finally whole again. All of it was nothing more than a projection from his mind, but part of him can't help but wonder – hope – if there wasn't a lingering impression from her spirit which was in contact with him. He's being crushed under the weight of his oppressive thoughts, and there's no one here to help him.

"Father?" Leia's voice rips him abruptly back to reality, and he starts slightly, not having noticed her approaching. She's wearing a nightgown now, her hair in a simple braid down her back. Her feet are in shoes with no socks. She really ought to be in bed right now.

"Yes, my child?" Vader replies softly, as softly as he can with his vocoder. He couldn't sleep; he rarely ever does or needs to. Maybe this is a dream or – or maybe he's going mad. Maybe this is his paradise, and everything else he'd seen was nothing more than a nightmare. Force, it wouldn't surprise him if, after everything, he's gone insane.

She skips over to him, unflinchingly coming to a halt at his side. "I couldn't sleep," she announces. "I'm too excited to meet my brother, and I sometimes come out here when I can't sleep, because it's so peaceful."

Vader lets his gaze wander over the cared for bushes, trees, and plants all around them. "It is peaceful," he agrees solemnly, turning his head towards her again. Why does he feel so awkward? He doesn't know how to treat her, or interact with her, or anything. He ought to know; she's his daughter, but he never raised her. That sends a burning rage through him, and it feels, for a moment, as though his blood has been replaced by anger.

Leia shivers slightly, obviously feeling his tumultuous emotions, before she motions to a nearby bench. "Let's sit down," she declares before unceremoniously dropping onto the bench and pulling up her legs until her feet on the edge.

Vader twitches before slowly moving to sit on the other end of the bench. "Are you going to take me away?" Leia queries quietly, a hint of fear in her voice. She turns her head to regard him, something pleading in her gaze which makes his heart clench.

She's his daughter. It would be within his right to do it, but... she's been happy here. It's so obvious. Would it make her unhappy to leave? Really, much at it hurts, it would be her decision to make. Besides, if he takes her, then he has to live, because he'll have a child – or two – depending on him. "Would it make you unhappy to leave?" he asks in turn.

Leia studies him, and it suddenly strikes him that her position – legs drawn up to her chest – is an unconscious defense mechanism. "Not sometimes," she tells him, biting her lip, "But I don't want to be gone forever, because this is my home. I've never known anything or anyone else."