The Unseen

Chapter 18 - Nighttime Visitations

Vader – Anakin, truthfully, because he hardly associates himself with his Sith name anymore – slowly inhales the cool night air. Nightmares have been plaguing him incessantly, and he's still not adjusted to sleeping more than a few hours every night now that he's mostly recovered. He feels... strange. His hair is still short, and it's grayer, but otherwise, he resembles the Jedi Knight he used to be.

After a long struggle with himself, he decided to wear the robes Obi-Wan gave him if only to serve as a reminder of where he came from. His old lightsaber is a familiar weight on his belt, but he still can't help but feel like an imposter, like he doesn't belong here. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, and even Bail, have been nothing but gracious and helpful towards him. Maybe that's the problem. His life feels too surreal for him to accept. He's uneasy, fearful that the slightest thing could take this away from him.

"You need to stop holding back," murmurs a voice. He jumps, turning to see a glowing figure standing nearby.

"Wonderful," mumbles Anakin, dropping his head into his hands. "I'm seeing ghosts now."

"Yes," Qui-Gon agrees, "I am a ghost, but I'm most definitely real. I've spoken to Obi-Wan many times since he arrived on Tatooine."

He twitches slightly at the name of the planet, sighing as he looks at the ghost. "Why are you here?"

"To help you," the Force ghost answers, "Or maybe because I thought you looked lonely sitting here by yourself."

"And how can a dead person help me?" Anakin demands, crossing his arms.

"Just listen," Qui-Gon insists, moving closer. "Don't let your fear cloud your judgement this time. You can't always protect everyone, but the least you can do for them is to live in the moment with them. Let them help you. And if you lose someone, let their memories guide and lead you onwards."

Anakin honestly isn't sure how to respond to the unsolicited advice. His initial thought is to brush it off, to yell at the Jedi Master for trying to lecture him, but something holds him back. In theory, Qui-Gon is right, but Anakin isn't even sure what exactly it means to live anymore.

He's not sure if the ghost heard the thought or if it's being expressed on his face, but Qui-Gon gives him a sad, yet gentle smile. "Just think about it," he encourages. "You deserve happiness as much as everyone else." And then, he's gone, as though he was never here.

Anakin is still trying to shake off the lingering emotions when he feels the familiar presence of his daughter approaching. It's not the first time she's slipped into the garden in the night, and he briefly wonders if she's always done it, or if it's something that started only when he began staying here. It's not impossible that his dark emotions are affecting Leia.

"I thought you would be here," Leia declares, sitting down next to him on the bench and leaning against him.

"Am I really that predictable or did you sense me?" he queries.

Leia pauses. "Both," she decides finally, grinning. "I didn't sense you inside, so I came out here."

Anakin smiles faintly and wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. "It's far too late for little princesses to be awake," he teases, his prior gloom evaporating in the face of his daughter's light and warmth.

She crunches up her face. "I'm not little," she informs him primly.

A surprised laugh escapes him. "I once thought the same," he admits wryly.

"Why're you here?" Leia asks finally.

"Couldn't sleep," he answers, shrugging indifferently, "And the garden is beautiful." He pauses, studying her face once more. "I would have thought you'd be more tired after spending so long on lightsaber katas earlier."