Jemily - Inferno Hearts

25 - Dinner

"You're sure you don't want me there?" JJ says to Emily who's currently pulling a nice shirt over her head.

"I'm sure. I love your support, and you, but this is something I need to do on my own." Emily replies. She walks over to the bed and sits down next to JJ.

"Ok," she says as she grabs hold of Emily's hand, "call me"

"If the waiter gives me one extra crouton in my salad I will report to you how it made me feel" Emily jokes, JJ laughs because she know that although it was a joke, Emily would actually probably do that under different circumstances.

"And this time, don't come banging on my door at 10 o'clock" JJ continues to joke around.

----

Emily sits infront of her mother, the waiter just left with their orders and the awkward silence lingers in the air.

"I think the best way to start this off is for me to say I'm sorry," Elizabeth says, "I honestly don't know what came over me when you were younger, and I really am sorry for what I have done to you."

"I think it's safe to say I wasn't exactly the easiest kid to handle" Emily replies.

"No, but I should have figured it out. It wasn't your job to grow up super fast, it was mine to make sure you could be a kid"

"I didn't think you'd admit that" Emily says, "there's just still a lot that.. that I can never stop thinking about"

"What I said to you.. the last thing I said to you" Elizabeth says, looking down at the empty place setting infront of her.

"Did you honestly think that, or were you just trying to scare me into doing what you wanted?" Emily asks.

"Sort of both, but mostly the second one. The truth is.. I had you way before I wanted kids, and your father bolted. Gone before you could even tell I was pregnant if you looked at me. I knew I was shitty, and I thought you'd be the same. The only difference is you actually tried."

"And you wanted to try. That's why you offered to raise her."

Elizabeth nods, "When you told me that you wouldn't let me raise her I knew that I had messed up, I had failed. I pushed my kid so far that she didn't even want me around her kid. I guess I wanted a second chance, to do better, but it wouldn't happen because you were too worried I'd do the same to her as I did you."

"Yeah I um.. I made like a vow, I guess, to myself that I'd never be you. I didn't want Kai to look at me and think what I had thought when I was younger, I always wanted to be like how Bailey was to me." Emily says, remembering all the stories that Bailey would tell her about her first words and first steps. How much baby Kai looked like baby Emily, which was pretty much spot on because Kai is a mirror image of Emily. She remembers all the bedtime stories Bailey read when she was 4 and 5,  all the games they'd play around the house. No memories with her mother though, not good ones at least.

"I know that it will take a long time, it might never happen, but I just needed you to know that all the things I said to you, all the things I did to you, and all the times I wasn't there for you, I am really sorry for them. And I hope, maybe, you'd let me make amends with you, because sorrys are just words. Words hurt the two of us enough"

"That seems like a good idea. Maybe we can start by re-meeting eachother, because I definitely do not know this you"  Emily smiles.

"Well.."

---

"An author!?" Elizabeth exclaims.

"She loves everything to do with literature. Reading and writing. I mean she works at a bookstore" Emily says.