SOFIA | ❨ NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM ❩ UNDER MAJOR EDITING!

To - Sofia, From - Bransen.

Dear Sofia,

McGonagall asked me to write you an apology, as she thinks somehow this will make all of this better for you. I know it won't, though. I know that the wounds I've caused will almost never heal. But, I do want to apologize. And, not the way I apologized before. A real apology.
I will never understand why I did what I did to you that night. I've never done that to another girl before, which I'm aware that doesn't make it excusable, but still, I know you're probably worried that there are other victims of my desires. I'm sorry I did all of those heinous things to you. I'm so deeply sorry, and I'll never forgive myself.
I believe that I was entranced with you from the first day we met, but I simply only saw you as another conquest. Another loop to keep under my belt, perhaps. But, our date was the only one I've ever truly enjoyed. I know you yourself didn't get a chance to enjoy it, which is tragic considering that I was aware of the fact that it was your first one. But, when I wasn't speaking, and you were, it was the first time I truly ever felt some sort of... real emotion, perhaps? I'm not sure. Connection, maybe. Yeah. That's the word. Connection.
And, why did I feel so connected to you, you may be asking? It was the way you spoke of your friends, who at the time, you almost barely knew. Unlike me, who knew them practically from the inside out. You spoke about them in such a high regard, that I was taken back a bit. You barely even knew them, and you seemed to care about them so much.
I was jealous. Jealous & nothing but spiteful of that. Not just because you cared so much about them, but because you had them, and I didn't. I hated them. I hated them with my whole being. I hated them because they knew what true friendship was, and I didn't. They took care of each other, and I've never received that from a single person. People that I called friends, they would never care about me the way that you all care about each other. And, I believe that's why I told you about the whole Lily situation.
I thought, that maybe you would stop caring for them so much. And, turn that nature over to me. Someone who truly needed it, and who never got it.
I hurt Hermione so much. I knew I hurt her, and I simply laughed at her pain. Same thing with Lily. Because to me, it didn't matter who got hurt. I would always get what I wanted.
But you, Sofia Cherith? You're the complete opposite. You would go to the ends of this planet if you knew that someone you loved was going to get hurt. You would take the fall for them in a heartbeat if necessary, and I respect you for that. You're selfless. You're kind. You're good, Sofia.
Maybe if there were more people like you in this world, people like me wouldn't even exist. And, I'm not just telling you these things in an attempt to flatter you. I'm telling you because, from the bottom of my stone cold heart, I truly, deeply mean every single word of it.
I never apologized to Lily or Hermione, which I regret deeply. But, I also realize that neither of them would have even cared to hear it. Because Sofia, no apology could ever make up for the terrible things I've done. And, not just to you, or Granger, or Lily, but, to everyone that I've hurt.
It wasn't just you or them... it was so many others.
You were wrong about something, Sofia. That one night in the common room, you told me that anyone could be good if they truly wanted to.
But... I believe that people like me are simply just a lost cause. People like me don't deserve redemption. We don't deserve care, or love. Truly, I don't even think people like me deserve that much of a happy ending.
But, you... you'll get it. You'll get your happy ending. You'll get all the love and care in the world, because, it's simply what you deserve. People like you deserve every bit of goodness in this world. You deserve the feeling of a butterfly landing on your nose. You deserve the feeling of a long hug after not seeing someone you love after a long time. You deserve all of that, and only more.
I can truly tell that Longbottom loves you. It's obvious just from the way he looks at you. He looks at you like you're the only star in the sky. He admires you deeply, and I hope you know that. I noticed it the first time I saw you two together.
Sofia, let him take care of you. Let him love you. Let him go to the planet's end for you. You deserve that. You take care of everyone, so please, I'm begging, let someone return that favor.
You're rare, Sofia Cherith. You are the needle in the haystack. You're the treasure buried deep below.
Your Father, also. Enjoy any time you possibly can with him, if you have any left. I miss my Father every single fucking day. No matter how much I hated him, you were right, he's still my Father. And, if I could hug him one last time, I would. I would hold onto him and never let go. And, if I feel that way about the terrible person my Father was? I can only imagine how you feel about yours.
So please, be kind to yourself. Continue to be the person you are. Please. Without people like you, the world may one day might come crashing down.
You're capable of changing that, and so much more. And, maybe in another life, some parallel version of me is doing the same thing.
Once again, no apology will make up for what I've done to you or your friends. Especially, you. But, I deeply apologize for all of it. All of it, and more.
Take care of yourself Sofia Cherith. And, I pray that the next person you meet, truly realizes what type of person you are.
Goodbye for now.

To — Sofia
From — Bransen