favorite liar | jegulus

six

it had been about a week since james practically ruined things with regulus. during the past couple days james found it hard to hide from his pain and even harder to put on a front for everyone around him. james never had much to hide until now

he couldn't eat as much as he used to, he was sleepy all the throughout the day, barely talked if at all most days, stopped looking people in the eye, found himself constantly picking away at his finger nails, he grew increasingly reckless and felt more drawn to chaos than ever before; which in turn is how he landed himself in detention with remus for the next month

tonight was the first of many nights were james and remus would spend being punished by doing lines, cleaning up classrooms, polishing trophy's, organizing bookshelves, and anything a professor could think of

in their minds theyd lucked out tonight, though. all they had to do was sort through boxes of old books into piles of keep and garbage by title. granted it would take forever, they were happy it could at the very least be therapeutic to do

not to mention the growing urge james had to talk to remus, the only other guy who knew a black brother in a more intimate way, about what had happened. he felt off about bringing it up to sirius no matter how clear he made it that he wanted to help and would, no matter the circumstances 

out of all the people james knew, remus was bound to be the one to tell him something worthwhile or at least know how to help. and if worst came to worst remus would have some chocolate for james, which always proved to be good enough

within a few minutes of debating remus and james had decided on the best method to sort the books and get the rob done quickly. so they got to work

"james," remus said softly as he opened up the first box

"moony"

"something happened between you and reg, didnt it?" he asked cautiously avoiding eye contact

"you could put it like that," james replied. "but i mean it was not much to begin with, just company really."

"are you ever going to talk to anyone about it? or tell anyone what happened?" remus asked. "cause you look like hell. we all see it."

"yea i know you can tell," james started. "if you promise not to tell anyone else, we can talk. i dont want sirius to know, not yet. and when he does find out, i wanna be the one to tell him."

remus nodded reassuringly, "so then what did happen?"

james shrugged softly, "i said something i shouldnt have, now he wont come anywhere near me. he wont even look at me."

remus frowned sympathetically, like he understood how easy it can be to choose your words poorly

"i know i shouldnt have said it but it slipped out before i could really think it over," james added

"what did you say?" he asked

"that he lies a lot," james told remus. "he said i asked too many questions so i said he tells too many lies. i didnt think before i said it honestly."

"must be a family thing," remus shrugged as he sorted through the old boxes of textbooks

"yea but with sirius theyre never believable, with reg i can barely tell sometimes. its sort of freaky," james explained as he started stacking books of a kind into separate piles

"what do you mean," remus asked

"he told me slughorn had been piling on work for them right but then i watched him do it in five minutes," he said

"so?"

"he didnt just do it quickly," james clarified. "it was like no amount of work at all."

"oh and and he told me he agreed with me that were doing too much studying," james added. "but that kid doesnt go anywhere without a book."

"how do you know all this about him," remus grinned

james shrugged, "i guess i just pay attention."

"so you watch him?" remus now smirking

"not like that," james mumbled smacking remus on the arm with a book

"i just always see him with a book, plus he does the same little things sirius does when he lies," james clarified

"you can tell when sirius is lying? i mean besides when theyre completely blown out of proportion," remus asked

"yea, neither of them can look you in the eye, theres that longer pause before they speak, and both bite their lip while they wait for your answer," james explained

"ill look out for that," remus chuckled still stacking books

"how did you of all people not know what sirius does that when he lies?" james asked as he moved a pile to the 'keep' section

remus smiled, "sirius never lies to me cause i never lie to him."

"must be nice," james replied bitterly

"why do you care so much? if regulus lies or not i mean?" remus asked curiously

"its not that i care exactly, i just cant help but wonder if it has more to do with me and less to do with him" james explained

"does thee james potter have a thing for regulus black?" remus teased

"iii uh...well-" he stammered

"godric prongs!" remus gasped. "you fancy regulus black, dont you"

"moony i dont know who i fancy" james groaned leaning against the wall

remus chuckled, "and we all it would he you and lily. blimey potter, you're just full of surprises aren't you?"

"says you," james mumbled with a laugh

"touché," remus said reaching into his pocket

"here," remus smiled pulling out a unopened chocolate bar from his pocket. "eat you'll feel better."

james smiled to himself as he accepted the treat, oh mooney you're so predictable

"what do i do now," james asked after he had a bite of it

remus sighed, "nothing unless you're absolutely sure of how you feel."

"am i not allowed to do a little experimenting of my own?" james joked

"james, seriously." remus replied sternly. "for one this isn't just any boy, this is your best friends brother."

"i'm aware," james grumbled a bit annoyed by this observation as if he didn't already know who regulus was

"and i'm not letting you break that poor boys heart because you're just experimenting while he thinks its something serious," remus told him

remus put a hand on james's shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze, "you cant break someone else's heart because you're hurting or confused, its not right." he added

all james could think to was embrace remus and let himself cry. he finally saw that he couldn't run from his problems, cause they would always be faster than him

so he let it out. and remus understood; he didn't ask questions, he didn't criticize or judge, he didn't tell him everything would be okay or that it'd be easy,he didn't tell him to man up. he held his friend tightly and let james be the weak one this time