favorite liar | jegulus

twenty four

are we wasting time talking on a broken line
telling you i haven't seen your face in ages
i feel like we're as close as strangers.
five seconds of summer: close as strangers
—
it had been a crappy week so far and it was only wednesday

insomnia had slapped james right across the face recently. it took him hours just to fall asleep and be woken up within an hour for class. it was hard to hide. he didnt have dark circles to give it away but instead he became less and less talkative. he was so focused on staying awake that he couldnt manage words. thats how people knew

james felt like his hangover from saturday was still affecting him. his head was always pounding. the bright reflection of the sun off the white snow hurt ten times more than usual. his stomach never seemed to agree with him

rock bottom must have a basement, he told himself wednesday morning as he rolled out of bed with maybe thirty minutes of sleep

it took all the strength he had left to make it through the day. he only fell asleep once and it was in history of magic; a class where most kids dozed off, so he fit right in

despite his best effort to act perfectly fine, his friends knew. how could they not?

"james you cant keep living like this," sirius said gently

"i know," he sighed. "i know. i do, really."

it'll kill me if i do

"can we help? i mean anything?" pete begged, feeling awful as he looked at james who was always a lion with a loud roar, now was a baby lion cub, unable to fend for himself

"im just gonna go to the library," james told them

remus stood up, "okay we'll com—"

"no, its alright." james reassured them. "id like to be alone for awhile."

remus nodded sitting back down. james flashed them a soft smile before taking off to the library

he found the most comfort there. maybe it was the good memories he had there or the warmth from the fire place or all the books leaving behind someones memory, but it was the only place he seemed to feel a bit happier in

he laid himself down on the couch in front of the fire place. for a few minutes he just stared at the fire, watching it crackle and turn the wood to ash. it was beautiful and he didnt understand how something so deadly could hold so much beauty

eventually he picked up one of his textbooks and flipped to his assigned reading for the day

he was reading every last word but none of it seem to mean anything or sink in at all. he couldnt recall an ounce of what he read. it was like he was reading a different language or just not reading at all. but he was, he was trying at least

he was exhausted and it finally got the best of him. he laid the book down and dozed off for a few hours. it was peaceful to finally be asleep after days of struggling to get any rest at all

hours later when his eyes fluttered open his raven haired boy was sitting below the couch hands wrapped around his knees. regulus was quietly sitting there watching over james

if it were anyone it would have been creepy but since it was reg, james found it adorable

"you feeling better now?" reg asked concerned, as james sat up sleepily