The Ice Queen [s.b.]

↠debate that!, 1.23

December 17th.

"Sirius, it's not up to you!" Anna argues firmly.

Sirius rolls his eyes. "Oh, but it is. You're not getting it."

"I think I am. If I have to take it, I will," Anna responds with an eye roll.

"You two are so dramatic, you know that? It's literally just a piece of pizza," Lily says absentmindedly.

"Just- just a piece of pizza?!" Anna exclaims. "Pizza is a finely tuned instrument of deliciousness. With the gooey cheese and warm crust, it's the perfect- Sirius! I'm lecturing Lily on behalf of both of us, don't eat it!"

Sirius gets up out of his seat, piece of pizza in his hand, and runs out of the great hall. Anna sighs pitifully.

"There, there," Lily says sarcastically. She pats Anna's head twice, making Anna glare.

Thankfully (for Lily), Marlene sits down across from them.

"Sorry, Annie. I saw Sirius running away with what I'm assuming is the last piece of pizza. We should probably get him back," Marlene says sympathetically.

"See?" Anna exclaims triumphantly. "Pizza is perfection."

Marlene nods vigorously, "It's a finely tuned instrument of deliciousness."

Lily facepalms. "You two are crazy," she says.

"Oh really? If that's so, I challenge you to a debate of food!" Marlene declares boldly.

"I accept," Lily says with a mischievous smile. "Tomorrow in the great hall at 6 p.m. We'll see who can debate better. Whoever loses has to eat a plate full of food that the winner determines. Have three food items ready. And Lee? Make sure to get an impartial jury."

December 18th.

The night of the debate, word had spread all throughout the castle. Anna had gotten house elves to be on call to prepare the food, twelve students (four from each house) to be jury, a crowd of people to watch as bystanders, and Andromeda to be announcer/judge.

"Hello everybody and welcome to the Great Debate of 1974! I am your host for today, Andromeda Black. Today we have our two contestants, Marlene 'Za Lover' McKinnon versus Lily 'Chocolate Eater' Evans. Now people, I want a clean match. No booing, but you can cheer silently or snap your fingers to show support. Lily, your opening remarks," Andy says, using her wand to amplify her voice.

Had it been any other school, any other people, and any other circumstances, people might have laughed at such introductions, but not this school, not these people, nor under these circumstances. Instead, people snapped until their fingers hurt for the person they support.

"Chocolate," Lily begins, "a delicacy invented almost one-hundred and fifty years ago. Made from the bitter cacao beans, they are historically delicious, soothing, and perfect. Today, I will touch on the long, storied history, the aspects of comfort, and the fact that chocolate is just better. That will be all."

"Thank you, Ms. Evans. Ms. McKinnon, your opening remarks," Andromeda says seriously.

"Pizza is as old as the English language itself-" Marlene begins.

"-It really isn't, Marls-" Lily interjects.

Marlene continues, ignoring Lily's interruption, "-And just as complex. From the nuances of the language and the intricacies of the cheese patterns, the similarities are undeniable. What my opponent fails to see is that the 'za is, in the words of one of the greatest witch of our year, a finely tuned instrument of deliciousness. The blatant disregard for such deliciousness is, quite frankly, just offensive. This evening, I will be explaining to the honorable jury the three main factors in deciding which is better. First, the taste. Second, the entertainment factor. And third, ease of consumption. Thank you."