Fate Worse Than Death

Storm ablaze

Clarke's POV:
Two days have past from my visit to Finn, his agony and his mind battling himself makes my stomach knot, I fear if Finn stays there he will be dead by the next time I visit. Bellamy still has yet to speak to me but today I plan to rectify our hardships and find out what happens in his mind, his ever running mind. Raven is to visit Finn today and I am in charge of checking in with Bellamy. Raven rushes past everyone in camp to reach the gate.
"Raven! Hang on." I pass Raven a first aid kit , "I warn you, it will not be pretty. He's in a lot of pain but he should be healing right now so you just need to change his bandages." Ravens face fills with worry, I reassure her, "He's been asking for you. I'm sure your visit will fill his day with joy." A little white lie never hurt anybody, but I'm sure Finn would want to see her and he'd be happier to see her than I. Raven heads off with the escorts and I head into a tent to check up on the radio awaiting Bellamy's call.

"Raven??? Raven you there?" The quiet radio statics clear enough to understand.

"Bellamy? It's me. Raven is not here today" nothing. There is a quiet in the air, a tension over the radio.

"Clarke?" Bellamy speaks with hurt in his voice.

"Yes, listen Bellamy we need to talk about this." Bellamy attempts to hide his quiet sobs on the channel but I wait till he responds without saying a word.

Bellamy's POV:
Hearing Clarke's voice is to much for me to bear. I am Bellamy Blake, I need no one and my people come first, but yet my mind stays with Clarke. How sweet her lips were, how her skin felt on mine, all of it is my weakness. I had her, she was mine......but she loves Finn and I can't compete with him being tortured, she will never let him go.
"Clarke there's nothing to talk about, you are with Finn remember. You said so yourself." The hurt in my voice is impossible to mask in this empty room surrounded by works of art, while I know that Clarke , who's voice sings in my head bringing joy to me when I need encouragement, is just on the other side of the channel. Oh and what I would to do have her be mine again.

"Bellamy I-" the regret in Clarke's voice is enough to make a man go mad.

"Clarke I love you! I know you felt something for me too. I will not stop fighting for you Clarke Griffin, but you need to chose. I'll check in later with the data I've collected ." Without awaiting for Clarke to answer, I turn off the radio and he'd back with Maya to check on the 48 inside Mount Weather.

Clarke's POV:
He loves me? Bellamy loves me. How can that be, I feel so many things for him but is it right? Is it truly feelings? Finn wants nothing to do with me after what he's seen. But can I bring my self to love Bellamy and forget Finn? I fear I will always love Finn but he deserves better and I can not burden him anymore, but can I let go? Questions ever running in my mind when I am brought back to reality but the opening of the gates. I rush outside to find Raven's shirt drenched in blood but it is not her own. Her face red and pouring tears as she embraces me bringing us to our knees to keep balance.

"Raven what happened? What's the matter?" I search her face waiting for her to catch her breath and make sense through her sobs.

"Finn.... f-Finn was covered in his own vomit and blood. His face is bruised with his pain. He couldn't move or even open his eyes. I cleaned him like you asked" Raven breaks back into her tears using my shoulder as her tissue, "he slept on me for a bit but, Clarke he's beginning to show signs of starvation, his food won't stay down and he's losing too much blood daily. We need to do something, he will die in there. I can't lose him, I can't lose him Clarke!" Raven weeps in my arms as I hold her on the ground not only for her comfort but for mine as well. I can't lose Finn either. But have I lost him already? I need to see Lexa for all of our sakes. What are they doing to Finn? I can't lose him.... I can't lose him!