Clarke's POV:
"It's okay don't worry. He just got scared but he'll be fine" Bellamy reassures me to the side with his charming smile. Finn's never reacted this way, does he have PTSD from what happened. I thought he was just sick or since it recently happened he was living it over and over but I thought it would go away. Even with Finn holding me at gun point, I was terrified but not for me. Seeing Finn in so much pain that he couldn't control his mind, hurt me in ways I haven't felt since my father's death. I look up to smile back at Bellamy for helping me, but when I do I see a wide eyed Bellamy in fear frozen still. As I turn to see what was wrong, Bellamy grabs my arm. To my horror I see a trembling Finn hold his automatic gun to his head.
Finn's POV:
(This is just gonna be his mind fight himself so it's just him not someone else)
Dammit pull the trigger! End it! End it for everyone! No, no I cant do that to Clarke. You already are, look at yourself. You're holding a gun to your head, you hurt Clarke when you cheated, you hurt her when slaughtered the innocents in TonDC! If you want to stop hurting her then end it! I can't! You can! You're a murderer! Im a murderer....I'm a murderer... I'm a monster.
Clarke's POV:
"I'm a murderer....I'm a murderer... I'm a monster" Finn mumbles to himself over and over while I stand there watching helplessly. Tears run down my cheeks as I see that Finn truly believes the words he speaks.
"Finn, please! Don't you DARE do this to me Finn. Goddamitt Finn! You're not a monster! How many times do I have to tell you this for you to believe it." I plead with Finn as he try's to break his episode to try and reach me, reality, again.
"Clarke? We should go. It isn't safe." Bellamy tries to pull me back but I only brush him off. I see Kane making his way behind Finn and I know I have to buy him time so he can get Finn under control.
"Finn look at me!" Finn refuses and stays facing the ground, "for fucks sakes Finn, look at me!" The anger in my voice makes him finally turn to meet my eyes. " Are you gonna leave me behind? Leave me to deal with this all alone? If you die right now, you die a coward. Fleeing from the war to come. One man can make or break the war, we need you Finn. I-" Clarity begins hit Finn as I shout at him. But before he can speak, Kane knocks the back of a rifle onto the back of Finn's head making him go unconscious. I try to rush to Finn's side but Bellamy grabs me from behind and takes me away as guards drag Finn away. Within the next few hours, Bellamy, the head guard, my mother, and I discuss the strategy for what is to come. I wanted to put the whole Finn thing furthest from my mind, but no matter how hard I tried my emotions were scattered. A mix of anger and fear run through my veins as I pace my tent.
"Clarke he's up." My mother's voice comes over the radio. The sun has already begun to set as pure adrenaline takes over me. I make my way to med bay and see Finn sitting upright on a table with each wrist chained up to opposite legs of the table. He slowly turns his head to meet my eyes. Seeing his warm brown eyes usually made me feel safe but this time the very sight of them angered me.
"Clarke I-" before Finn could finish his sentence, I smashed my fist into his nose.
"You asshole!" Finn looks up at me in confusion as I continue to shout at him.
"We're you really gonna leave me behind, after you knew what I did and how much I hated myself for it. You were my rock. And what's that 'bE wItH bEllAmY' bullshit! You knew I loved you, you knew. I would've chosen you above all else but you didn't give me the chance to. And if you were willing to leave me....leave us all, you're not the Finn I loved." Hurt and shame shimmer in Finn's watering eyes as he stares at my tears. "So stay the hell away from me, I want NOTHING to do with you." I quickly run out before Finn sees the regret in my face. Of course I felt awful about what I said but couldn't let my emotions get in the way right now all that mattered was making sure Arkadia will be safe. The night patrol had already began by the time I reach my mother. Her face worried and confused.
"What is it?" I grab my mother into a corner for her her to explain.
"Lexa's made contact." Fear strikes my core as she explains, "she sent two riders out earlier with a message" she shows me a peace of paper rolled up that reads,
Clarke please meet me, my people don't know about this transaction so you must come under the cover of night. I beg of you to come. -Lexa kom trikru
"Is she out of her mind! If I see her again it will be to kill her for what she's done not to talk" I puff at my mother for even considering it.
"Clarke we need to see if she is willing to make peace or even let us live, you need to do this." My mother assures me.
"We have the guns, we have explosives surely we can win."
"With all that we have a fighting chance, but no guarantee. Lexa has the numbers and if there's a way to end this without bloodshed, we need to take it." Kane chimes in as he takes to my mother's side. I nod and agree to meet with Lexa. "We'll have gunners on post aiming at her tent if anything goes wrong in there." Kane guides me out of the gates as he tells me where to go. "Head into the woods and go from behind of Lexa's tent and cut a slit there for you." Kane hands me a flashlight to carry on my hip, "don't use it unless you're in trouble, it'll let us know where you are but it'll also let the grounders know. So you have to go blind there." Kane instructs me as I head out into the dark of the night.
YOU ARE READING
Fate Worse Than Death
Fanfiction{currently on hold} What if Finn had survived? Would even he be able live with himself? But the real question is who will Clarke choose, Lexa , Finn,or Bellamy. This is a story of treachery, betrayal, love, and woe of what could've happened if Finn...
