Fate Worse Than Death

Life Line

Clarke's POV:
(This is after the fight with Roan, so the queen is dead. The same exact scene happened)

I hadn't ever seen Lexa so fierce but yet so graceful at the same time. Every move calculated and adaptive to each attack. The amount of fear I had watching what could've been her death, I have only had a handful of times. Nothing made sense anymore. Finn's gone, my people are being run by a selfish idiot that THEY voted for, and the alliance is still in danger. The dual only bought us some time to postpone talking about Skaikru's fate but now the air stands still waiting for the decision. Even with the world crumbling I have faith in Lexa, she is smart, kind, and above all the commander. Any question of her weakness was destroyed as the spear pierced Queen Nia's cold heart. No one dared defy Lexa anytime soon, I needed her. Not just to keep my people alive but to keep myself sane. She understood the struggle of being a leader, of carrying the blood of those you've killed with you.

"Thank you for backing me." Here Lexa sat before me, wounded but looking unhazed by her pain. Eyes focused on mine. I've seen Lexa in a dress before but this silk dress is refined, elegant even. I felt my heart flutter every time I glance at it. I can never seem to get tired of watching Lexa smile, for some reason it was one of the few things that made me feel. The rest of days I am too busy to feel but now in this small moment I can.

"I was just doing what was best for my people" was all I could manage to say. Of course that wasn't the reason but I knew not how I feel, less of how to say it. Regret came over me as I saw how disappointed she was with my answer looking away. I know she wished for more, some sign that I cared but as much as I wanted to my tongue twisted itself into knots.

"I'm sorry about Finn, I know you loved him." I meet Lexa's hurt filled eyes in shock at his name. But the moment our eyes met the world stopped. Every candle flame frozen still in time, the stars stopped twinkling, and people below became silent. Not a single sound just Lexa and I.

"Reshop [goodnight] heda" I say to break us both from the spell.

"Goodnight ambassador." She smiled. How I wish she would not leave but she did. And alone I was again.

Finn's POV:
*Skip forward 2 weeks. Basically Ontari is furious about the Queen's death but is staying in polis to train with the other natblidas until Lexa's death*

The fight within me grows dimmer by the day but my reasons to keep fighting are stronger. I've been beaten to the point where my eyes were swollen shut, I've been electrocuted over and over, I've been used as a training dummy wrist bound unable to stop any of the blows and kicks thrown at me. The days they let me heal it was too painful to move an inch more so to eat. But every time I felt that the pain was too much I thought of the few memories I still knew to be true. Clarke's beautiful eyes when I would hold her and the sound of her laughter ran through my mind each time, allowing me to fight for my life. For she was my light in this darkness. Nothing could ever be wrong if she was okay. I was still breathing which means I have a chance to see her again. Nowadays my mind was fickle, constantly changing. I could barely tell if my memories were dreams or if they were real. The guards constantly told me stories about our people, stories I didn't remember that way. Even though my blood was spilled by their hands, they were still Arkadians and I couldn't help but believe them and let them do what they wanted.

The only times I would see Nyko was when he brought me food and to patch me up. He was the only grounder in sight. For the longest time I thought it was the grounders who hated me, but here they are showing me kindness while my own people beat me a within an inch of my life, other times punishing me for their own amusement. The laughs of Arkadian guards haunt my nights as they watch me suffer. Still I buried my anger because I knew this is what I deserved, this is what fate held for me the inescapable punishment worse than any death. This morning I sit alone in the humid blood and vomit covered cell longing for a break, a moment of peace. As a miracle I hear the cell door open. A familiar face comes rushing in as she embraced me tightly.

"Raven? " I cared not for the pain in the tight hug but only tightened it further. For the first time in a while I felt safe and I was not about to let it end so quickly.

"What are they doing to you Finn?!?! God, here" I hear the pain in her voice which only makes it harder to hide the severity of my pain as she runs her hands in my blood matted hair.

"It's okay. I deserve it." My attempt to comfort Raven fails as I see tears begin to fall.

"No you don't. Finn you payed the price with the grounders already. This is not justice. Arkadian guards have no right to do this to you!" Raven claims in hush voice careful not to be heard.

"No right?" Once again my mind began to change, to morph into what I thought was reality.

"No right!"

"No right" I muttered to myself knowing Raven would never say anything that wasn't true to me.

Jaha's POV:

I watch Finn and Raven's conversation from the small barred sky light. Raven's nod confirms that she planted the root already. With Finn alive he could sway the others in Arkadia to take the chip or for those who won't, we can turn him into a weapon to eliminate those blind to the truth of our salvation. The weak peacemaker will help us save mankind from the fools.

Let the games begin.......