(Y'all this takes place right after Finn and Clarke sneak away, the last chp is happening at the same time, mainly near the end of the chp)
Finn's POV:
It's the worst form of torture, living with the sins of your past. Knowing every breath you take is stolen from those you've murdered. Every sight taken by someone so unworthy. The pain both Clarke and I feel. A pain I wished I did not share with Clarke but the ever growing pain in her eyes at the memory of her choices frightens me more than a thousand grounders calling for my blood, this is life now. But at least now there's a small chance, a small beam of light in the darkness I've been drowning in, for happiness. Clarke was there for me as I bled and vomited my self to sleep, now it's my turn to be there for her.
"Finn we shouldn't separate from the group, it's safer if we stick together." I ignore Clarke's advise as pull her further in the forest with me.
"Don't worry princess, they'll probably go after me first giving you time to run." I joke at a now smiling Clarke, tears now dried up.
"Who ever said I need you to keep me safe" the teasing in Clarke's smart remarks grows as does her grin. "I am Clarke Griffin, Wanheda, commander of death. I need no man." Clarke teases at every step I take closer to her. Truth is she is right, she needs no man. I only smirk at Clarke when realization hits her as I playfully pick her up and run further into the woods to the spot near by. The glow in the dark forest, the place I first made Clarke laugh. Clarke and I laugh as put her down mocking back breaking pain. "Oh shut up you baby." Clarke chuckled through her messed up hair. I move a few strands of Clarke's hair back into its place to reveal the face of my light.
"That's 1 for me and 0 for the princess" I pull Clarke into my embrace as I twirl us around. Clarke's soft giggle turn into loud snorts by the time I put put down. This is the first time I've seen her so free. Her cute dimples strained against her carefree smiles.
"Care for a dance?" I grinned at an out of breath Clarke.
"There's no music jack ass." ignoring Clarke's doubtfulness I quickly wrap my arm around her and mock a gentlemen's pose as she places her hand in mine and places her other on my shoulder. We wobble at first trying to mess around but we find a rhythm to which both our hearts beat to. Soon we are stepping in time to a soft melody in my head looking into the eyes of the girl I loved so deeply. Her eyes were just as focused on mine as we danced in silence but to a sweet melody to no one but us.
"Don't let Jasper get in your head, you made the right call." Clarke teared up at my words.
"I know, it's just I wish it could've ended differently. Maybe if I-" as Clarke began to choke on her tears I pull her into my arms and comfort her.
"We can't change the past Clarke, we can only move forward and hope we do better the next time. Don't apologize for saving them, they don't see it yet but you made the right choice. It's not gonna be easy, the memory will stay with you and storms will come you're way over and over but you know what," I cup Clarke's cheek as I move her tear soak strands aside, " I'm going to be here, by your side. I can't promise that the pain will ever stop but I can promise that I'll be here to hold you through the storm." Clarke smiles through her tears as she dries them off. "You are my light Clarke." I kiss her warm forehead but as I pull away I see a cheeky grin rise from her shiny cheeks. The only thing I feel is a pain in my knee as Clarke sweeps my feet from under me.
"That's 1- Spacewalker and me for the win." I laugh through the pain as Clarke burst out laughing at me.
"Fine." I admit as Clarke helps me to my feet. A sudden rustling in the bushes catch our eye as we spot boar tracks at our feet. We both thought why not do what we came here to do as We creeped up behind a bush and spotted the boar. Smart one it was, using the shade of the tall trees to hide its self from predators as it nibbled on a bushel of berries. "Here's your shot." Clarke nervously gets into a stance. "You got this" I stand behind Clarke as her support as she sends a spear flying and catching the dinner. Shock strikes us both at her first good throw. We celebrated in an joyful embrace as we here shouts in the distance. Concerned we race towards the shouts and see a broken Bellamy holding a lifeless Gina in his arms. Both of them covered with her blood.
"What happened?" The question raises from a clueless Arcadian hunter.
" grounders" Bellamy clenches his teeth in anger as he takes off his jacket and covers Gina's face as he picks her up and carries her in lead as we head back to camp. Every soul in the camp freezes as the gates open. Bellamy begins to gently lay Gina's body on the ground as a two people rush through the stunned crowd.
"Gina!" They both cried out. "No not my angel. Not my baby girl" her parents wailed into each other's arms at the sight of their dead child. Silence fell over the camp.
"I didn't know Gina that much but from what I could tell, she was kind, generous, and a light to us all. In our tradition, we focus not on the life lost, but the life that was given to us. Our time on this world is not ours but we were given the chance and privilege to know Gina. I say we celebrate her tonight instead of spending these hours in woe." Lincoln chimes in looking at both Kane and Gina's parents for approval.
"She was our joy, she wouldn't have wanted us to cry. This is what she would've wanted." Gina's father agrees to Lincoln's proposal as guards help them carry their daughter to their own private funeral. Kane instructs us to prepare the food for the feast and pushes for us to be merry.
"For Gina!" Kane chanted.
"For Gina!" The whole camp chanted with Kane. Even the grounders did. Grounders helped prepare the tables, prepare the food, and help anywhere they could alongside our people. We all acted as one, not as two enemies fighting for a better future, but mankind together once again. Lexa sat at the head table with Kane as the feast begins. Though our people were used to being in silence, the air filled with laughter and stories of Gina. Upbeat folk music played as people got up to dance. Drinks were poured through the night and every now and then we would chant "for Gina!" After a few bites of our hunt's bringing I get up from my chair and pull Clarke into the middle of the space where everyone was dancing to the folk songs synchronized old dances we learned on the ark.
" I'll be back" I tell Clarke as head outside. I barley make it out of Clarke's view when vomit my days worth of food. Truth is I haven't been able to hold my food down very well ever since I've returned. Hiding it from Clarke grew more and more difficult as the weeks went by. My darkness never left me, it still consumes me and fighting it has grown too much. I sit outside in my mind trying fight of the demons that consume my being, it's getting harder to hide and I'm afraid that it will be the end of me.
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Fate Worse Than Death
Fanfiction{currently on hold} What if Finn had survived? Would even he be able live with himself? But the real question is who will Clarke choose, Lexa , Finn,or Bellamy. This is a story of treachery, betrayal, love, and woe of what could've happened if Finn...
