memories | yuzuru hanyu ff (on hold)

Chapter 35

It's been almost a month since I started working in the rink and I'm not sure whether I want to keep the job or not. Noah has been quite weird but I always managed to brush it off with his good work. Yuzuru got discharged after 3 days in the hospital but Brian told him not to train for another week. Of course, he complained but accepted it anyways. Mina started training again with Tracy, along with Nam and Javi.

As for me, I'm just living life as usual. After me and my mother's fight, she hasn't showed up but it's kind of normal considering the fact that she never does while we were in Japan. I managed to keep the house clean, food was fine - grocery wasn't an issue since I get paid weekly rather than monthly. Brian gave an exception since I was a college student.

The semester will start soon, so I have to make up my mind whether I should quit the job or stay. I took this job for my mom but if she's going to act like this, I'd rather just stay at home.

But, I met a lot of people and I know I'll probably miss out on a lot of things. Javi and Nam are like my brothers. I'm good terms with Mina. And Yuzuru.

'Uhh...Yeah, I don't know about that one.'

It's complicated. That's all I can think of or better yet, the fitted word for our relationship.

I was typing away when I suddenly heard knocking on my door. I gave them a sign to come in as they opened the door. Brian came in along with another man. The man looked circular like a dumpling. He also looked like the same age as Brian. I bowed my head as a sign of respect and habit. They bowed back feeling awkward.

"Well, Natsuna, meet Ghislain Briand." He said.

I smiled at Ghislain as I took my hand out to shake his.

One thing I learned from Tracy.

We both shook hands as I introduced myself.

"He's a coach here at the rink. He was just on vacation for a while so please tell him the schedules and all that jazz." He said doing the signature jazz hands.

Ghislain slapped Brian's back making him stop his hands. I chuckled at both of them.

"Well, I need to head down to train the kiddos. Come down when she's done explaining everything." Brian said, stretching his arms as he closed the door.

I got seated and told him all the schedules for the skaters, when or what they're training on. I also told them when they'll have their weekly visits with the physiotherapist. He nodded and thanked me for my help. He left the room as I plopped myself on the seat, sighing.

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I finished my tiring day as I unlocked the chains that was around my bicycle. I was about to ride it when someone suddenly called out to me. I snapped my head towards the direction and saw him.

"Yuzuru..." I muttered.

He ran up to me as I gripped the handles of my bicycle, wanting to throw it at him and make a run for it.

'Yeah, not really a good idea.'

He was right in front of me, breathing hard from running. While I shrunk, looking at him as I looked like I was a prey, about to get eaten by their predator.

"Natsuna." He breathed out.

The way he said my name, made me flutter, as if I was about to explode in cherry blossoms.

"Can I- Can I walk you home?" He stuttered, a warm flush spread across his face.

He scratched the back of his head feeling embarrassed. I straighten my position as I felt fire on my cheeks.

'Shit, control that blush, Natsuna!'

I nodded, not uttering a word, scared that I'll embarrass myself.

We walked silently as cars and people walked by. Distinct noises such as; cars honking, people chatting, dogs barking. It made things less awkward. Less tense.

"Why did you suddenly want to do...this?" I asked, indicating to his sudden appearance.

"Well...I wanted to thank you for saving my life that day." He said, scratching the back of his head.

"You need to buy me food, Yuzuru." I said, shaking my head in disappointment.

"I will, I will!" He laughed as I did the same.

We made it to our neighborhood where it was more quiet than earlier. People were out; Some were having a night jog, others are with friends, and a few smokers.

I noticed that one smoker puffed out towards us making my insides twist. I pushed Yuzuru away from the polluted air as I pinched my nose close, with disgust written all over my face.

"Watch where you're smoking." I said with a stern face, fanning away the smell.

The guy, thankfully, seem to understand and apologized. He walked away as I glared at him from behind.

"It's okay, Natsuna-" He said, caressing my shoulders to calm me.

"No, it isn't. You just got out of the hospital. What's going to happen if you're not careful? If I'm not with you right now, what's going to happen?" I snapped at him, feeling tears rising up as a lump was forming in my throat.

He stood there, stunned.

It became quiet but no awkward tension. I stared at him as he stared right back. No distraction, just us having a conversation through our eyes. It was never-ending.

After a few moments, that felt like eternity, I realized that we were getting closer, making me self conscious. I blinked back my tears as I look away, trying to wipe it.

But, before I even wiped my tears, I felt his hand grab my wrist pulling me closer to him, bumping to his toned chest in the process. His two fingers on my chin, tilting it upwards, making my lips near his, stopping it inches away. His breath and mine were mixed as I looked at his lips and his eyes.

We just stared, again, but closer and more vulnerable. I could see his scars and his small blemishes, that I couldn't see even in broad daylight. He could probably see through my eyes as he devour them with his own. My insecurities were shown to him as if it was just laying on the table for everyone to see. He could see what I was feeling through my eyes. It made me feel exposed.

Yet, I...

I can't see a single thing from him. His eyes were darker than usual, that's one thing. But, what I do know is that his heart beat is different. It's beating louder, more distinct than my beating chest. His warmth is different too. More comfortable. More cherished in a way. As if he's holding something so fragile. I was something so fragile.

We continued staring at each other, still in each other's arms. Still in each other's warmth.

I wanted to pull away. Scared that I might burn again. Scared that I might be haunted once more. But, it's dragging me constantly towards the source of fear. I fear Yuzuru Hanyu but at the same time, I want to burn in his fire. I want to be haunted by him.

"Natsuna..." He muttered.

"Yuzuru..." I whispered back, still keeping the same distance.

"I will never let you go..." He finally said before sealing everything off, as if I involved myself into something so dangerous.

'I'm sorry...'