memories | yuzuru hanyu ff (on hold)

Chapter 37

I'm currently wearing a formal attire, which was a white blouse and a navy blue pencil skirt, as me and Yuzuru, along with Brian, will have an online meeting with the university regarding the semesters. We were seated down as Brian was setting up the laptop. Yuzuru was right next to me as he stared at the screen, blankly. I looked at him, worried that he's not taking care of himself.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

He blinked and looked at me for a moment.

"Hmm..." He hummed as he looked away from me, shifting his position further.

He wasn't his usual self which made me worried but quickly brushed it off once Brian got everything set.

"Ready guys?" He asked.

We both nodded as we entered the meeting. It took a while to load so we shifted in our seats anxiously.

I looked over to Yuzuru to see him, again, staring blankly towards the screen. I shrugged as I thought that maybe he was just thinking about training right after this meeting as he didn't want to join it in the first place. Brian went over to the laptop again to check the connection.

I sighed but immediately felt a hand on top of mine, holding it tight. I knew who it was from but I didn't dare look at him.

"Are you mad?" He whispered.

I kept quiet as I didn't know what to say.

'Is he implying about our past? Is he asking about our present? From that night? Or is he asking that from how worried I looked?'

I ignored the question and kept looking at the screen which Brian was still fixing. Yuzuru kept looking at me. It felt like he was begging me to look back and answer.

Suddenly the camera lit, indicating that we were seen by the other party.

I nudged him with my foot to his making him snap back to reality. He looked at the camera as if nothing happened.

I saw his eyes through the screen. They were begging, screaming for help. I felt bad, but what about me?

Don't I also have to scream? Beg for help?

I shook my head to take my mind off of it as I tried focusing on the meeting.

"I'm sorry..." I heard him whisper.

'Shit.'

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As I typed away on my laptop, finishing some work, I heard a knock on my door. I stood up and walked towards the door. I opened it to see Noah.

"What brings you here?" I asked.

He already got his own office which was downstairs next to the locker rooms. So it was quite odd seeing him here since I usually see him in the cafe or the printing room.

"Nothing, just checking up on you." He shrugged.

I nodded and waited for him to move.

"So uhh...Wanna go grab lunch?" He asked, scratching the back of his head, looking nervous.

I looked at the time and saw that it was past noon. I wasn't hungry but I could sure get something for later.

I nodded and grabbed my purse with my phone. We walked downstairs meeting Nam and Javi on the floor, panting.

"You guys okay?" I asked.

They couldn't speak so they gave out a thumbs up. We walked over them, feeling bad as it seemed they had an intense training session with the coaches. Looking over towards the rink, Yuzuru came out with grace as others were following behind him, tired and wobbling. Me and Noah stood aside to let the skaters pass.

"Yuzu! How- Are- You- Still- Walking?" Nam breathed out.

He shrugged and looked at me. He shifted his gaze to Noah before rolling his eyes, leaving the group.

I felt pissed at his childish behavior but pushed away the negativity and walked away. Noah chased after me as I slowed down to wait for him, apologizing midway.

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I sipped my coffee as I got back to work after the lunch that I had with Noah.

'Well technically, his lunch as I just saw down with him as he ate.'

He surprisingly paid my sandwich and coffee, making me caught off-guard. I felt flattered but weirded out at the same time. I don't want to think bad about it since he is my colleague and friend.

I looked at the time and noticed that it was already late. I packed up and walked out of the room. I went downstairs seeing Yuzuru and Brian still going with the training.

"Yuzuru, let's go home. You're tired!" Brian shouted as Yuzuru was at the other end of the rink.

He kept quiet as he shook his head looking upset. I got worried as I sat down and waited for him. If anything happens like last time, at least I'll be there again. He puts on his skating guards as Brian patted his back for encouragement. He took his bag and his luggage, where he kept his skates then went to the locker rooms to change.

"Is everything alright, coach?" I asked.

"He hasn't been landing any of his jumps today. He needs to relax, he looks so tensed." He sighed as he shook his head.

I nodded but somehow felt guilty that it was my fault that he was acting like that.

After a few moments, Yuzuru came out of the locker rooms. All three of us left the rink and went outside the club. Both Yuzuru and Brian went ahead as I was walking towards the bicycle rack.

"Where you going, Natsuna?" Brian asked.

I pointed at my bicycle, indicating that I had a 'ride'.

"C'mon! I'll drop you guys." Brian said.

After a few "yes" and "no"s, I eventually gave up and took my bicycle to his car. We managed to fit it in the trunk and went inside. Yuzuru was already sitting in front as I sat in the back like last time. Brian started the engine and left the area.

It was quiet. You could say it was awkward as usual but we tried not to show it.

'At least I tried not to show it.'

"You guys okay?" Brian asked.

I looked at Yuzuru who was listening to his music, not hearing Brian's question.

I hummed at his question, wasn't really in the mood to be interviewed. I guess Brian felt it and kept quiet throughout the ride. 

I silently sighed and looked up at the night sky. The stars shined brightly, as if it gave me a wink. It calmed me.

'Pretty...'