Falling • OriginSMP TommyInnit

11 - Control?

Reality suddenly kicked into the boy, he was making his friends upset. He was making them worry. He was bringing their spirits down. It was all him, all him, all him. Never them. He always made things about him. But he didn't mean to- no, he was being a brat the entire time. A selfish, useless, bullshit excuse of a friend. Or an Avian, for that matter. 

Tommy didn't realize how much his breathing sped up, or how tight his chest was, or how he couldn't seem to get any air at all, he was spiraling into a world of darkness. His darkness. He realized he was causing his friends everything, all this pain, all this heartbreak, all this sadness, it was all him causing this. He was making his friends unhappy. 

Tommy was so lost in thought that he didn't hear his friend call his name, he didn't feel the arms wrap around him, he didn't hear the hushed tone telling him it was all okay, that he was okay. He wasn't okay, he wasn't. He made them not okay, he did this. He caused this. Him, him, him. Not them, him. He did all of this, he made everyone feel this way. 

How could he have been so fucking blind? Why was he so useless? Why was he such a baby? Why was he such an attention-seeker? Why? What made him think it was okay? Why did he let this happen? Why didn't he see? What the fuck? Why can't- why is- w- his- n-

Black clouds rolled into the edges of his vision, and he felt himself grow light-headed. Tommy blinked at the hand waving infront of his eyes, snapping out of his thoughts when someone yelled his name.

"TOMMY!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I- I'm so sorry, I can'- I can't- I- Wilbur- I'm so fucking sorry." Tommy was sobbing again, curling into his friend's cloak. His wings were spasming out of control, his panic and sadness and pain all rolling through his wings as they translated his emotions. A gentle touch reached them, stroking them along the sides. His wings calmed down, but the boy himself was far from calm. 

"Tommy, HEY! Tommy, you have nothing to be sorry about, Tommy, oh Tommy, shh, shhhh, it's okay. Wilbur's here, shhh," Wilbur cooed, pushing the hair out of Tommy's face and looking into the boy's unfocused eyes. The older could basically see all of Tommy's thoughts. "Tommy, we care about you, we really, really do. Please, Toms, don't let this happen to you. You're a strong kid, Tommy, please, please don't give in to your thoughts. they aren't true."

"They are." Tommy said, his voice barely louder than a whisper. "They are true."

"No, Tommy, they aren't." 

"They are!" Tommy flinched, pushing Wilbur away from him. "They are true! They are,  and I'm weighing them all on you! You deserve a happier life, you're a good person! You matter! Not me!"

Wilbur was at a loss for words for a few moments, unable to say much as the boy dove back into the water pool, turning his wings in odd, surely unhealthy ways, maneuvering through the water. For a moment he saw the boy in a pool of his own blood again, his wings torn off and laying beside him, weakly trembling as the last of his blood spilled from them.

Wilbur sighed, he'd leave Tommy alone. The boy needed to realize he was worth more than he thinks, and that he matters so, so much. And clearly trying to help him wasn't doing much good, any good that it did do was only dizzolved moments later. 

Oh, how broken the poor boy.

----

Ranboo POV

----

I watched Tommy run into the forest, nearly tripping a few times over various roots and such. I saw the tears streaking down his face, confusion clouding my mind. I thought about following him for a moment, then shook my head. Why shouldn't I? He's clearly in distress.

So, from the shadows, I teleported behind him, creeping along the forest floor. I watched him weave and dodge, his small frame only then standing out to me. He darted into the cave I had first found him in, and that only expanded my cloud of worry more.

Following the boy, I didn't have enough time to shout his name. It was too late. I watched him tear at his wings, gripping them so hard that his hands were white. I found my voice after he probably broke one of his backwings, tearing and clawing at it desparately.

"TOMMY! No, no, no,no,no, Tommy, stop that." I ran over to him, tightly hugging the boy who was trying to destroy himself. He didn't seem to even care that I was there, only sobbing and trying to rip himself apart. What had gotten into him? "Tommy, shh- Tommy- tOMMY-!" He shook violently, moving away from my grasp, and charged out of the cave. I turned to run after him, but something under the tip of my shoe caused me to look down.

It was one of Tommy's headwings.

I ran with a new fear, shouting the others' names as I tried to find the boy again. My tail lashed back and forth anxiously, and my multi-colored eyes finally lay on the boy. He was covered in blood, his wings either ripped off of him or broken, and he stood at a cliff edge. A flower-forest lay beneath him, and I watched with pure horror as he stumbled forwards and lept off.

No. No. No.

No, no no no no n onononononono-- no, no no, no, this wasn't happening. Not again, dammit! He won't wake up from this death, he doesn't want to. No, no no no...

TommyInnit fell from a high place.

TommyInnit has left the game.

<WilburSoot> WHAT..?

No...

He didn't, right? it's just a joke. It's just a... 

I leaned over the edge, blinking away the tears in my eyes, crying out in horror. Tommy was gone, Tommy had left. His body, buried in flowers, confirmed that. He had fallen onto his back, eyes fixed on the sun, and the ghost of a smile on his face.

No...

roll credits 

jk the story isnt ending here