1:
wei wuxian: what's up guys? i'm back!
jiang cheng: you cant be. you're dead. I literally saw you die with my own eyes
wei wuxian: death is a social construct
2:
shang qinghua: so thats my plan
shen qingqiu: so are you okay with constructive criticism? i dont wanna sound mean
shang qinghua: yeah sure
shen qingqiu: it fucking sucks
shang qinghua: thats not constructive criticism
3:
wei wuxian: if i die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and all of you are invited
nie huaisnag: if?
jiang cheng: great, the only party I've ever been invited to, and he might not even die
4:
xie lian: san lang, i'm sad
hua cheng: *holds out arms for a hug* it's gonna be okay
shi qingxuan: ming-xiong, I'm sad
he xuan: well mood
5:
lan wangji: xichen, it's a bit chilly today
lan xichen: ah wangji, borrow my coat, don't get a cold
wei wuxian: jiang cheng, it's cold today
jiang cheng: well shit, not like i can change the weather
6:
wei wuxian: you are the love of my life and best friend, I would do anything for you
lan wangji: i want you to have a normal sleep schedule and eat three meals a day
wei wuxian; oh fuck no
7:
xie lian: dont worry, i know what I'm doing, everything's gonna be fine
mu qing: how can you say that?
xie lian: because sometimes, when things get rough, denial is all we have
8:
wei wuxian: im a reverse necromancer
jiang cheng: isnt that just killing people
wei wuxian: ah, technically
9:
shen qingqiu: i can explain!
liu qingge: can you
shen qingqiu: if you give me 30 seconds to think of a lie
10:
wei wuxian: change is inedible
nie huaisang: do you mean inevitable?
wei wuxian, spitting out a couple of gold coins: no, i really did not
11:
ling wen: okay, it says here on your resume that you're creative
xie lian: yeah
ling wen: may i ask what you create?
xie lian: problems
12:
shang qinghua: im having a mid life crisis
shen qingqiu: you're like 20...
shang qinghua: YEAH BUT I MIGHT DIE AT 40
13:
xie lian: why is mu qing so sad?
feng xin: so he took one of those "which tgcf character are you?" quizzes
xie lian: and?
hua cheng: and he got feng xin
14:
jiang cheng, setting down a card: ace of spades
wei wuxian, pulling out an uno card: +4
jin zixuan, pulling out a pokémon card: jolteon, i choose you
nie huaisang, trembling: what are we playing
15:
cop: youre receiving a ticket for having three people on a motorcycle
ling wen: shit
mu qing: wait three?
cop: yeah
feng xin: HOLY SHIT XIE LIAN FELL OFF
16:
wei wuxian: *gently taps table*
jiang cheng: *taps back*
nie huaisang: what are they doing
jin zixuan: morse code
wei wuxian: *aggresively taps table*
jiang cheng: *slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-
17:
*everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
jun wu: so. who broke it? i'm not mad, i just wanna know.
everyone:
xie lian: ...i did. i broke it.
jun wu: no. no you didn't. mu qing?
mu qing: don't look at me. look at feng xin
feng xin: what?! i didn't break it.
mu qing: huh, that's weird. how'd you even know it was broken?
feng xin: because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
mu qing: suspicious.
feng xin: no, it's not!
pei ming: if it matters, probably not, but ling wen was the last one to use it.
ling wen: liar! i don't even drink that crap!
pei ming: oh really? then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
ling wen: i use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. everyone knows that, pei ming!
xie lian: okay let's not fight. i broke it. let me pay for it, your majesty.
jun wu: no! who broke it!?
everyone:
shi qingxuan: your majesty... ming xiong's been awfully quiet.
ming yi: rEALLY?!
*everyone starts arguing*
jun wu, being interviewed: i broke it. it burned my hand so i punched it.
jun wu: i predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick
jun wu:
jun wu: good. it was getting a little chummy around here.
YOU ARE READING
mxtx crack
Randommostly just the demonic trio being crackheads, but there is some non demonic trio chilling too, and some random oneshots
